Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Does my house smell?!

33 replies

Lavender14 · 29/09/2024 14:13

My mum is driving me crazy so this is probably more a rant than anything else. She has exceptionally high standards for everything but the one thing that is really getting to me is that every time she visits my home she will screw her nose up, sometimes hold it and tell me that it stinks.

I am a lone parent with a toddler and I work full time, I also work very hard to make sure that ds is growing up in a clean, tidy, presentable house. I don't smoke, we've no pets, bins are emptied regularly and nappies binned immediately. There's no old food or dirty dishes and I'm fully on top of dirty laundry. Floors are mopped and swept daily and hoovered weekly. Toilet is cleaned at least once every week.

I use products that I think give a lovely smell to the house like method products or zoflora. Windows are open every single day and I wash blankets and cushion covers monthly on average unless ds gets them dirty. Don't get me wrong, it's very much a lived in house and sometimes it's messy with ds toys or clean laundry needing put away but it's definitely clean.

She can't tell me what she thinks it smells like, she's said it's not the cleaning products I'm using but she still just walks around looking disgusted. It's really eating away at me because after being brought up by her I'm already paranoid about my home being fit for visitors.

Am I missing something?? I can't smell anything untoward but it's making me paranoid that I'm nose blind! I even do flipping simmer pots sometimes at the weekend. What do I do about this. I've told her repeatedly that this is rude but she just continues. I don't want to stop her having a relationship with my son and generally she has loosened up a LOT over the years and all stems from her own anxiety and poor mental health but this really grates on me.

OP posts:
LividSquid · 29/09/2024 14:19

I thought you were going to say you have six cats and seven dogs and thought it smelled fine.

But from what you've written here, this is a mum problem and not a smell problem.

Thanksandy · 29/09/2024 14:23

Do you have any pets? Damp? Does anyone else visit your house? Can you ask them honestly if there’s a smell?

If it’s none of that I would tell your mum you’re worried about her health because there are illnesses that cause this. See how she responds to that!

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 29/09/2024 14:24

Get a trusted friend to come and have a sniff

jamtarty · 29/09/2024 14:25

Are your shoes clean?

It’s probably her, but this did spring to mind.

Crazyeight · 29/09/2024 14:25

Do you have potatoes rotting in the drawer somewhere?

Toddlers smell. I find sometimes houses smell of baby wipes which I hate.

But I think your mum is just trying to make you feel bad.

Lavender14 · 29/09/2024 14:41

Thanks all, no pets. We did have one pet until a few months ago but he died so that's definitely not the issue. No checked the veg holders and cleaned the fridge and washed my bins as well. Neither ds nor I have overly smelly feet but I wash my trainers pretty often because I wear them a lot. Ds can smell, he's not great at saying when his nappy is dirty so there's definitely times he's had a dirty bum and I've probably not noticed straight away but then that's dealt with and out to the outside bin so I can't imagine that being the source of a constant smell. I think she just doesn't like my house and expects it to smell if that makes sense. She has pets herself.

OP posts:
outforawalkbiatch · 29/09/2024 14:45

I wouldn't have her over any more
If nobody else has commented, it's a her issue
You do get used to your own house smell but if you've been out, come back and not noticed anything then...

Thebellofstclements · 29/09/2024 14:51

It's probably all the chemicals. No one needs Zoflora etc, just keep the house average clean and open the windows for 20 minutes every morning. Unless you live on the M6.

Chillimuma · 29/09/2024 14:52

Ask someone else

AdviceNeeded2024 · 29/09/2024 14:56

It sounds like you keep your house perfectly clean for no smells. Often the source is bins need emptying, toilet isn’t clean, old food. If it was damp I’d think you’d be able to smell it too.
If you like Camembert and have one in the fridge they stink like the bin needs emptying, I used to get one occasionally and took me a while to work out that was the smell so I’ve stopped buying them now!

Sounds like your mum is being OTT. What does her house smell like usually out of interest? Does it have a certain product or scent?

chisanunian · 29/09/2024 15:00

every time she visits my home she will screw her nose up, sometimes hold it and tell me that it stinks

Ask her whether she would ever dream of saying anything as rude as that if she went round to her friend's house and didn't like the smell.

Mymanyellow · 29/09/2024 15:03

What do any other visitors say? I realise they aren’t likely to hold their noses like your dm does, but can you ask someone for an honest opinion?

LoobyDoop2 · 29/09/2024 15:06

Sounds like your mother is ill, mad or just mean, rather than that your house smells. Tell her she doesn’t need to visit if she doesn’t like it.

Paisleydad · 29/09/2024 15:07

When you go to her house do you notice a smell?

I'm sure that my house has a distinctive smell, but I don't notice because I'm used to it. I don't think it "stinks" though.

Your mum needs to back off. Don't worry about it.

Alalalala · 29/09/2024 15:07

What a rude and spiteful woman. Don’t invite her over and explain why.

I would ask a friend or someone neutral though, for your own peace of mind. It sounds like you’re extremely hygienic.

Lavender14 · 29/09/2024 15:53

Her house definitely has a smell but it's not a bad one just the smell of their house if that makes sense?

She used to be incredibly critical and rude and I did go LC for a while and since then she has visibly been trying to rein herself in which I do appreciate and is the reason why we generally have a better relationship now. Really it's based on her own insecurities of others judging her (and judging me by extension of her) and she is the definition of living on her nerves. So I am glad it's improved over the years but this one thing just drives me mad.

OP posts:
MabelMora · 29/09/2024 15:57

Don't have her round. Simple as that. If she wants to see her grandchild, then you go there. If she asks why she's not coming to yours anymore, or even just says she'll come over, then say no thanks, because it pisses me off when you say my house smells!

Paisleydad · 29/09/2024 16:59

Her house definitely has a smell but it's not a bad one just the smell of their house if that makes sense?

Absolutely makes sense.

AutumnTimeForCosy24 · 29/09/2024 17:16

As others have said, ask someone you trust what they think.

im looking after my friends dog (at her house ) today and somewhere (I can't find it) she has something like a plug in & it's killing me. Throat hurts eyes are streaming, nose terrible... I wish she wasn't so worried the dog might small (he doesn't)

I can't message her as she's left her phone at home, I can't wait until she gets home.

i think it's just a 'your Mum' problem!!

henlake7 · 29/09/2024 17:19

Tell her she is welcome to sling her hook if she doesnt like the smell!
Life is too short to let people make you feel bad about such trivial things.

Personally I have 3 elderly, semi continent dogs and best friend has a houseful of rescues and poorly cats....we are both noseblind to each others houses!!LOL😆

ViciousCurrentBun · 29/09/2024 17:23

@AutumnTimeForCosy24 I am allergic to perfume and Air fresheners are the worst. If you can’t find a plug in does she have any unlit scented candles or those little sticks that soak up oil because even unlit they set me off sneezing.

Don’t invite her round.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 29/09/2024 18:28

ViciousCurrentBun · 29/09/2024 17:23

@AutumnTimeForCosy24 I am allergic to perfume and Air fresheners are the worst. If you can’t find a plug in does she have any unlit scented candles or those little sticks that soak up oil because even unlit they set me off sneezing.

Don’t invite her round.

Edited

I'm the same I'm allergic to all of those. Most chemical air fresheners set me off something terrible! Even just cleaning today with relatively mild stuff had me sneezing!

Malvala · 29/09/2024 18:37

Thebellofstclements · 29/09/2024 14:51

It's probably all the chemicals. No one needs Zoflora etc, just keep the house average clean and open the windows for 20 minutes every morning. Unless you live on the M6.

I second this.

Id likely get a migraine in your house from all of the fake smells.

Lavender14 · 30/09/2024 21:13

Possibly... I wouldn't say its overly chemically though since the products I use are well diluted and windows are open daily for most of the day to try and just keep it smelling 'fresh'. I only use essential oils or a simmer pot for "scenting the house" no artificial air fresheners or anything like that.

OP posts:
changednameagain1234 · 10/05/2025 19:16

What is a simmer pot?

Swipe left for the next trending thread