How on earth do I get my motivation back?

[itwasnevermine]

This will be a long post, I'm sorry in advance.

I'm 25. Embarking on my masters and studying for legal qualification exams at the same time.

I finished uni in 2020 and then went straight into another degree - I finish uni in June and went back in September. I studied for two years and in 2022 my nan died, after my dad had been seriously unwell. I had started relaxing on uni then - all exams were 24 hour open book exams and it meant I would stay home and help out at home instead of going up to uni. I got a 2:1.

In 2023 I started a new job and in July started my LLM. I burnt out around January, and struggled through to my exams in July 2024. I finished those exams and I had a taste of real freedom for the first time - it felt like the first time with 0 academic pressure. I now how to finish my exams and also do my masters.

I'm done with studying. I'm done. I hate it, I'm sick of having no time to myself and feeling like shit 24/7. I lose my motivation to go to the gym, I'm working 4 days a week for a pittance so I can have a day off in the week to study and I still feel like I have no time. I'm out of the house from 7:30 to 7 each day and when I get home I need to eat, go to the gym and try and study. I just can't be bothered.

I'm exhausted 24/7, I have no energy to eat well, to exercise or study or anything. And I know it's just gonna get worse. This is all mental, not physical. But it's just seven more months. By May of next year I'll be done, and I need to push through.

But how on earth do I get that motivation back? I just have no energy for anything

This sounds very tough @itwasnevermine . You have been working so hard for so long and in this last phase, combining full time/almost full time work? with more exams, and the masters, must be gruelling.

You’re obviously extremely diligent so I think your lack of motivation is most likely related to the exhaustion you feel. Exhaustion 24/7, whether it’s mental or physical, really is a sign that something is wrong. I think you should see a doctor just to rule out possible causes. It’s never a good idea to just push through exhaustion without getting things checked out.

If there’s nothing straightforwardly physical going on, please don’t beat yourself up for lack of ‘willpower’ or mental weakness or whatever. You honestly sound burnt out, with very good cause.

Would suspending your course for a year be possible? On medical or possibly other grounds?

OP, you are exhausted and burnt out. Running on empty.

You have a job, studying for an LLM and doing a legal qualification all at the same time? Respect to you. Wish my dcs were as driven as you. I think it might be time to drop one or more of those. Probably the legal qualification. Is that part of your job?

Dropping the qualification means losing my job, I've invested so much money into the masters that I don't want to stop now 🥲 it's tough, I know it'll be worth it but at the same time I'm so tired, and it doesn't help that I'm poorly now too

Oh and I honestly think my exhaustion is down to bad lifestyle. I sleep 6 hours a night and I eat like crap at the moment 😅

What legal qualification is it? SQE?

You cannot drop the legal qualification if that means you lose your job.

Can you take a few months' break for your masters without losing the work you have already done?

Yep, the dreaded SQE 🙃 I'm not sure about the masters, I really just want to be done and back to working 5 days a week to earn real money again

I wonder if if would be possible to defer the final part of your masters, particularly as it’s the beginning of the academic year. I would talk to them asap. I took a year off between the first and second year of my part time masters on health grounds, with no bother at all.

I totally get that you want it all done and dusted, but what you’re attempting atm just doesn’t sound sustainable at all especially as you say you are poorly now.

I'll check with them but I'm in such a tough spot - I want to be done so badly because I got a taste of life without uni

I'm exhausted 24/7, I have no energy to eat well, to exercise or study or anything. And I know it's just gonna get worse. This is all mental, not physical. But it's just seven more months. By May of next year I'll be done, and I need to push through.

OP, I am quoting from your original post.

You asked how to get your motivation back. I think you might be jumping the gun.

Under Maslow's needs hierarchy, you have to attend to your base physical health first before you can sort out the higher order motivational needs.

I'd say that pushing yourself to burnout is a very lawyer-thing to do. It is an occupational trait, alongside perfectionism. You should recognise this and manage it (easier said than done, I know). Otherwise the risk is that you might push yourself over the edge over time and leave the legal profession entirely. Which again is what many lawyers end up doing.

You are young, plenty of time to take a more scenic route. I get wanting to get studies over and done with. But being physically and mentally overwhelmed for 7 months and possibly failing or doing badly in your assessments will take its toll on your health.

I don't like using this expression but you are allowed to be kinder to yourself

Yeah I do see your point

I'm doing some meal prep today so hopefully that kicks me up the arse in that respect

Eat better, prioritise sleep, get your GP to run tests to see if you’ve got a deficiency or are anaemia, and see if there’s some other way to incorporate exercise into your daily routine (walk to work? Part of the way?) so you can leave out the gym and use the extra time for sleep.

I tend to get my 10k daily from walking on my lunch break etc but I feel like I should be doing some sort of weight work too because that's what everyone seems to do! I feel a bit lost to be honest

That is an excellent step. Can you bulk cook so that it will feed you throughout the week?

Can you also improve your sleep, as in going to bed and waking at a regular time and getting 7 hours?

Sounds like you are getting enough exercise from walking. I am also time starved and should really do more exercise. Before I got to bed, I do high intensity exercise of 60 sit ups, 10 push ups and 16 star jumps. It gets my heart rate high and takes 2-3 mins.

@blueshoes yes I'm hoping it'll last me the week (breakfast lunch and dinner) and some to also last into next week, my goal is to build up a little freezer stash

I'll try more exercise at home, I've had a slob day (still in my pyjamas!! At 3pm!!) so hopefully that helps, and I've taken my vitamins for the first time in ages

Fantastic!

Had an electrolyte sachet because I didn't know if that would help and my god they're sweet 🤢hopefully it puts a pep in my step though 😂