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Original poster

Just an irritable rant about DS's homework

40 replies

ontheedgeofwhatever · 28/09/2024 18:45

Because we have a busy weekend DS (year 8) did nearly all his homework last night and this morning He has SEN and I have to supervise or it just does not get done and as it is it takes far longer than for most DCs. I'm usually in tears in the bathroom by the time we've got through homework.

It is set through an online app. He had a few questions left for one home work so finished it and went to submit it just after lunch only to find that a NEW homework due Monday had been set about half an hour earlier. It's probably another 20 minutes of work for a normal student which isn't huge but for DS it would be at least 40 as he just can't sit still or concentrate for more than a few minutes. if he'd not had to submit his last homework he'd never have seen it.

Is noon on a Saturday an entirely unreasonable time to set homework due Monday morning or am I just been unreasonable because I'm having a crappy and stressful weekend? (this is not the first time from this teacher)

He would get a detention if it wasn't done and with his emotional problems that's huge and results in me having to spend at least an of hour of my morning persuading him to go to school and usually having to physically take him for at least 2 or 3 days after a detention.

Just crying to be honest. I can't do it. I am sure his teacher is just doing her best but right now I feel so angry with her

OP posts:
reluctantbrit · 29/09/2024 10:20

Do complain to the teacher and copy the form teacher in as well, this is general a bad practice. If it doesn't help, go to the head of year.

DD had the rule that she checks her teams by Friday evening, everything not posted would not be done. I do understand that some teachers not being able to post during school hours, so we agreed on Friday evening.

Also, do make a formal request with the SEN team about appropriate adjustment to homework expectations. We had issues in Y7 and Y8 and had weeks of tears because DD just didn't get the homework requirements and after talks about resonable timing we found out that DD took over 1 hour per subject longer than the teachers expected.

Over the years she managed to learn and developed techniques but the school adjusted expectations for her and run several tests trying to find the underlying issues.

MrsForgetalot · 29/09/2024 10:28

In our school there is a deadline for the teachers to set homework - I forget what it is exactly, maybe 5pm same day? They were told this on their first day and the kids enforce it gleefully. I was a bit shocked the first time ds checked the app and whooped because the teacher hadn’t assigned homework, because when I was in school rules didn’t apply to teachers and you were expected to be a mind reader.

Talk to the school about homework though - we agreed to an amount of time spent on homework because it took him longer. And we just didn’t skip the same subject twice in a row.

liquidsquidli · 29/09/2024 10:42

If he has SEN then speak to the school and ask for reasonable adjustment

He can do half. Or none. We have emails from parents like this and we totally understand.
Home should not be a battleground and for parents of SEND pupils they need as much support at home a school can be a very challenging space for SEND students.

We don't set much homework and we get good results. If they don't do it they don't get a detention if they do it the get a reward point.

It's a pain for students parents and teacher. They should offer a SEND homework club too.

Hope your school supports this.

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zeitweilig · 29/09/2024 10:44

I'd be ignoring work not set on a school day (Mon to Fri where we live).

zeitweilig · 29/09/2024 10:46

noctiscaelum · 28/09/2024 20:29

40 minutes of work for year 8 child isn't a big deal, tbh. And a day and a half notice due on Monday isn't a big deal. Complain if you think it's unreasonable. But really?

What now?
That's ridiculous.

PrivateSchoolTeacherParent · 29/09/2024 10:49

My DS is away this weekend with his sport. No way he'll be checking his school app! Completely unreasonable.

changedmyname24 · 29/09/2024 10:56

No real advice but I empathise. My DS is Year 9 & has significant SEN. I/DH has to sit with him through pretty much every piece of homework to explain what is being asked of him & to make sure he stays on track. It is working though as he got 50-60% on his end of year exams, which is decent if not outstanding.

He has a full EHCP & his teachers are flexible if homework is not done on time. Tbh this has rarely happened though. We check the app with him every evening & do at least 1 piece of homework each evening, if required, so that he doesn't have too much at weekends.

It is not easy so 💐 for you.

changedmyname24 · 29/09/2024 10:59

Also, as my DS needs constant supervision from the SEN team (he is prone to seizures & has hit his head during one before), they assist with his homework during break/lunch/before school, which takes the pressure off slightly at home. I believe most pupils can access homework Club- is that an option for you?

Original poster
ontheedgeofwhatever · 29/09/2024 21:22

Thank you all of you for your kindness. I will email the senco tomorrow to see what we can do about homework as it's just such an awful battle every time.

@noctiscaelum Before DS I could easily have written what you did. DD was a dream when it came to homework - she was that DC that could polish it off after breakfast if she'd forgotten anything - but she almost never forgot and needed almost no supervision either. Most of the time I didn't know whether she had homework or not unless she actually asked for help but her reports / parents evenings always told me she did all her homework. It was a huge shock when DS started school and I realised it's not always that simple...A 20 minute homework for dd could be done well in 10-15 minutes with no supervision whereas it's 40 for DS with one to one.

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 29/09/2024 22:11

@ontheedgeofwhatever it's really not unusual for DC with Sen to be given a different approach to homework. Homework / repetition of the task is often most useful to them as it helps build the memory etc but it's not unusual to either do every other homework for a subject so it spreads out amongst other topics s he has half the quantity each week, extensions, or a time limit to do what he can possibly signed off by a parent. If it is too hard for him they need to provide an easier simpler one to differentiate to his needs. If detentions are given normally then that needs changing so he isn't penalised by his ability providing his given the agreed homework a good shot.

Good luck tomorrow

Original poster
ontheedgeofwhatever · 30/09/2024 18:33

Just had an lovely email from the SENCO saying that she absolutely can review DS's homework and offering a meeting in school later in the week to talk about it

In the meantime she's given him a pile of achievement marks for helping a year 7 boy with his maths homework at lunch today - apparently they'd forgotten about it, didn't understand it and they were getting upset about it as as it was due in next lesson and DS explained it to them and helped them finish. It's so frustrating he's amazingly good at a few subjects but everything else is a massive exhausting uphill struggle

Honestly her email was so kind - I can't think were she finds the time

OP posts:
liquidsquidli · 30/09/2024 19:40

And what a lovely parent you are too!

I'm glad you resolved it or are on the way to.

It's not unusual we deal with it day in and out.

Well done your DS for helping.

Original poster
ontheedgeofwhatever · 01/10/2024 09:21

@changedmyname24 I am sorry but things run away with me yesterday. I also suffer from epilepsy and while it's not on the same scale as your DS's I often had absence seizures in class and completely lost track of what was going on. I don't think there was as much understanding then as there is now but fortunately for me I was a quick reader and had good friends willing to let me borrow notes and could generally catch up with most things pretty fast. Without epilepsy I think I could have been a strait A student

DS has different problems. He's actually bright (his IQ was assessed at 136 and his reading age at 16 years 5 months) but his ability to concentrate and his hand writing is on par with an 6 - 8 year old (possibly worse for writing). We can't keep him on topic or sitting down for more than 2-3 minutes, it's absolutely exhausting - for example last night he launched quite randomly into monologues about black holes, pythagorus therom and prime numbers all while we were trying to write about gothic literature.. As for getting him to sit and read for 20 minutes every day ... less said about it the better.

OP posts:
changedmyname24 · 01/10/2024 10:16

ontheedgeofwhatever · 01/10/2024 09:21

@changedmyname24 I am sorry but things run away with me yesterday. I also suffer from epilepsy and while it's not on the same scale as your DS's I often had absence seizures in class and completely lost track of what was going on. I don't think there was as much understanding then as there is now but fortunately for me I was a quick reader and had good friends willing to let me borrow notes and could generally catch up with most things pretty fast. Without epilepsy I think I could have been a strait A student

DS has different problems. He's actually bright (his IQ was assessed at 136 and his reading age at 16 years 5 months) but his ability to concentrate and his hand writing is on par with an 6 - 8 year old (possibly worse for writing). We can't keep him on topic or sitting down for more than 2-3 minutes, it's absolutely exhausting - for example last night he launched quite randomly into monologues about black holes, pythagorus therom and prime numbers all while we were trying to write about gothic literature.. As for getting him to sit and read for 20 minutes every day ... less said about it the better.

Ah, thank you. It's not easy for DS as he also has autism & ADHD so being able to concentrate enough to work is so much harder for him! Sounds tough for you too, epilepsy is really unpleasant 😔

I'm glad your SENCO is helping, they can be worth their weight in gold. And well done to your DS for helping others, that is so sweet!

mindutopia · 01/10/2024 10:51

It doesn’t seem very fair that the teacher is setting homework on Saturday that is due Monday for some, but not till Friday for others. Everything should be due Friday, for example, so everyone has the same amount of time to complete it.

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