What is the point of announcing a birth or marriage in The Times?

[sharkfromjaws]

Deaths I get, people lose touch over a long life. But surely everyone who cares knows you well enough to know you've got married or had a child without having to read it in the paper?

Yeah it's definitely tradition amongst some parts of society but it's cringey really. Can understand it for funerals but that's about it.

Yes it was a tradition.

Although perhaps not as common anymore (I'm unsure?), making a public announcement seems more popular than ever.

Nowadays lots of people make a birth or engagement or marriage announcement on social media - facebook or similar.

My son's birth was listed in the Telegraph. We are not posh, but as readers of the paper we thought it'd be fun.

Obviously not MN fun, reading this thread.

It was once believed that a lady's name should only appear in the newspapers 3 Times in her life. On her birth, on her marriage, and on her death. Anything else meant she was involved in something scandalous.

I don't understand why some people think it's especially strange or something only "posh" people do.

Loads of people do it on social media. So it's obviously a popular thing to do - publicly making an announcement, whether in a newspaper or on social media.

Tradition.
Everybody knows each other or of each other in those circles.

I still miss reading Jennifer's Diary in Harpers & Queen, showing my age.

I was announced in The Times- it’s traditional for us. We are old English types and it’s really common in our circle of friends and family to do so. But I agree it’s maybe a little strange but I’m sure we’ll carry on 🤷‍♀️

Lots of people do that, and in other publications, including local, because there will be people who are far away, and interested. I always used to look in the 'hatched, matched and despatched' sections of newspapers to see if I knew anyone, especiially if I had moved house and lost address. I don't buy papers now but occasionally browse online.

It's only a small entry, unlike the great displays one sees on facebook :).

Interested to know if you post on any form of social media You shouldn't be so quick to disparage something that holds a tradition for lots of people and that 'normal people' do read it and, maybe, care about it. Just because you don't like it/read it/know why it happens, doesn't make it any less important to the people who do.
I love reading the announcements in The Times. Don't necessarily know any of the people in there but other peoples lives can be interesting.

The Telegraph do some mad 'announcements' that I think are obviously code for spy activities. I loved those!😂

I remember an episode of Only Fools and Horses where Del boy is reading the local paper and says something like "Blimey you know when you're starting to get old" and Grandad says "Why? All the girls you were at school with getting married and having babies?' and Del Boy was like "No - they're in the deaths column".

@TalkSomeSense2 oh yes the spy messages 😁
I was in a cafe yesterday and heard "yes we have the deal for the sheep pens but need the field" - I'm in London. That had to be some kind of code 🐑

@Needmorelego @TalkSomeSense2
Slightly related, I'm reminded of Desperately Seeking Susan. Think I'll have a rewatch this weekend now.

My mother’s family do this. My mother died when I was ten so I grew up without her influence which is possibly why I find the whole thing utter cringe.

We did it almost 32 years ago. Just done so we could keep the paper, in which it appeared, as a memento of the birth and what was happening at the time. Not posh or rich, just did it on a whim as that was our daily paper. It wasn't for anyone else, they all read the DM🤔

I asked the ex to get a copy of The Times for DD.

The knob came back with the Daily Mail.

You see, I think gender reveal parties and baby showers with helium ballon arches, a pile of pink or blue cupcakes and 3 foot tall letters are not a thing I would do, but I'd never steal the joy of the giver.

Folk do things differently, which is a good thing. A baby is a joy, whether you know the person well or not.

As above, the parents’ status. Mine was announced in the press, my daughter’s probably won’t be as it’s not important to me

'Kin Ptarmigan. In stitches.

Sister to Partridge and Capercaillie?

Yeah, this. I think people like to mark the passage of time and do it in different ways.

My family do announcements in the Times. My granny always liked to read the Times and see if she could spot anyone she knew and was very excited when my wedding announcement went in, not to mention her great grandchildren.

What’s the removal?

The removal happens the day before the funeral where I am (Ireland).

Often the deceased is at a funeral home/ funeral parlour. People come to line up and shake hands and offer condolences to the family at an allocated time ...say 5 -7 pm. The casket is open so they can say goodbye, say a prayer. Prayers are said. The family is given some time alone with the deceased before the casket is closed and 'removed' to the church to await the funeral Mass next day.

For acquaintances (eg the parent of a colleague) people often just go in quickly, shake hands and offer condolences and leave again...so it takes about 10 mins or so.

Not everyone uses funeral homes. Sometimes the person is waked at home but there is still a time given to call as above. People call at other times too though. It's becoming more common too to remove the deceased to the church the morning of the Mass instead of the night before if they're waked at home.

As a family historian, the dying out of the Births Marriages Deaths columns is sad to see. It certainly wasn't just for posh folk, and after literacy increased (but before everyone had a telephone installed, and while international calls still cost the earth) the BMD announcements for a city like Aberdeen could take up a half-page of broadsheet.

They would often include a line like "Australian papers please copy" – which gives the historian a hint about where some of the family have emigrated to.

Of course now that "online" exists, most people have a presence there. But because social media can be transient I've no idea how that's going to look to future historians.