I married my ex husband in 1994 at only 18 against my family’s wishes (obvs realise now how ridiculous that sounds). He is American and I moved over there. The abuse started quickly. He hit me many times, controlled everything and well the emotional abuse was even worse. It lasted 15 years. At the time I didn’t know the terms coercive control etc but if it had been now he would definitely have had to face prison. I know realise he was a narcissist. After we returned to the uk i suffered a horrible miscarriage and he was terrible to me. I was in my home country and had the courage to leave. Immediately after he begged me to come back but after I refused he relentlessly pushed for a divorce. He refused to divorce me unless I went along with his solicitor. At the time I was in fight or flight mode and would have signed anything to escape…and I did. I left with the money in my bank which wasn’t much. That was in 2011.
I’ve recently looked into my state pension and I’m short due to working overseas for 14 years but I can’t get anything from America as I am not a US citizen.
I remarried in 2018 so I don’t think I have legal rights any more. I feel so stupid and wish I could go back and shake my former self. I have found out I could have got some of my ex’s pension and money. I worked full time throughout our marriage and he made me pay 50% of everything despite him always making at least more than double my salary.
Do I have any rights or do I just need to get over myself. Sorry for the long rambling post I just never had any counselling for the abuse and I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. I’m started to have flashbacks and not sleeping.