Please help me to find some enthusiasm for this holiday

[PennyCrayon1]

Yeah I know. Absolute first world problem. I am a spoiled and privileged individual. I’m not proud of this one.

Basically we are going on holiday next weekend. Abroad. For a week. Two kids, ages 7 and 8, who are climbing the walls with excitement.

I haven’t done anything. I haven’t packed or planned anything. Not a damn thing. I have no clothes to wear (too fat) and my swimming costume needs replaced and I wanted to put little bags of stuff together for the kids to do on the plane. Get my hair and nails done etc. clean the house. I’ll be lucky at this rate to get the very basics done. I have absolutely nothing to wear myself and I don’t have time to shop and there’s no summer stuff in anyway.

i work full time in a very intense job. Getting out on a week’s annual leave is a brutal uphill struggle of a task and I’m feeling anxious about the amount I have to do. This week I got some really disappointing work news which I’ve been trying to push to the back of my mind but it’s dragging me down and heightening my anxiety around it all. At the same time we have work being done on the house. I am dieting hard. The kids are great but full on, clubs etc. There’s just a lot. And I have woken up this morning with what I think is an eye infection so that’s great.

i think i am just exhausted. I’m usually really good at digging deep in the way that mums do, and making sure it all happens successfully, but I just don’t seem to be able to find it this time. Husband (who is very good and is already carrying more than his share of the load) has noticed my arse dragging and has gone from gentle encouragement to “seriously we really need to get cracking now…”. Pressure. At this point I don’t even want to talk about the holiday. I feel a bit frozen.

I just want to lie in the bath and watch Friends and drink wine. I don’t really know why I’m posting to be honest. I just needed to say it.

Mate, you need to crack on. Once your on holiday you can veg out but now you need tk get cracking. Divide up the jobs with DH let's the kids pack their own plane bags and get shit done.

What can your husband do to help lift the load? Apart from your swimsuit/clothes etc everything else looks as if it’s a joint task.

google the airport - any chance of a nail bar there? Or is there one where you are going?

Just bung the basics in a suitcase and don't worry about the rest. You can buy swimsuits etc when you get there.

I have tasked him with drafting a to-do list. We do like a list (and it should get him off my back for a little while…)

You can do this.
Amazon prime (or similar) yourself a swimming costume right now. Then take whatever clothes you wore this summer.
Get kids to pack their own clothes and books and download things they want to watch on tablets. Do that tomorrow night and tell them they have to pack x days’ worth of outfits / underwear etc. Get DH to check. (An unpopular opinion on mumsnet, but DC, assuming reasonably NT can do a lot of stuff from a fairly young age. Mine did their own packing from about 5 with some guidance.)
DH packs his stuff. You both research what to do when you are in the airport. Job done.

I also hate packing. And I hate the intensity of trying to get work sorted before I go. This year I got chat gpt to produce personal packing lists for each member of the family. It really really helped - definitely reduced the mental load. Hope it's all worth it when you get there!

Impressive! I'd like to know what to say to get AI to do that for me.

the Chat GPT idea is fucking genius. I’m going to stand down my husband on the to-do list.

I feel for you OP. I'm terrible at packing, always leave everything to the last minute and then regret it. Also running around last minute clothes shopping. I do wish I could just get organised!!

It sounds as if you're in need of a break. Just lay in bed tonight and when everyone else is asleep have a think about what you could pack. So you have a plan.

Nothing complex - eg please write me a packing list for a one week holiday in September in Italy for a ten year old boy ... and so on.

You've got a week. Get some suffer kit in a bag, swimming stuff, sun cream (hugely on special offer at the moment in England). Anything you forget buy there.

You're shutting down because you're feeling overwhelmed.

You need to break this down into small manageable tasks, on a list that you can tick off as you go.

As pp have said, order yourself a swimming cossie now from somewhere that delivers quickly - Amazon, next or similar.

If you're up against it, forget the hair and nails or have them done while you're away.

I wouldn't worry about bags of stuff for the plane at your kids age - a new book each and the inflight entertainment? How long is the flight?

Re cleaning the house - yes it's lovely to come home to a really clean house but if you don't have time you don't have time. Could you afford to chuck some money at the problem and get someone in?

Prioritise the packing, get the kids to do their own which you then check.

OP, do your nails really need doing? Why not give them a break as well? Save yourself the time and trouble. I’d say same with the hair, save the cut for your return. How long is the flight? The kids can manage a few hours with some iPad things they download. Let them buy a sandwich and sweets at the airport (more expensive but they choose etc). I’d just try and reduce some of the tasks. It sounds like you need this holiday and I’m sorry about the work related disappointment.

I hear you.
Pack tomorrow night. It won't take longer than 2 hours tops. Then you can have bath and wine and be smug.
Once everyone is packed you have a few days to decide if you've missed anything vital like chargers or tweezers.

Nice to come back to a clean tidy house but it will have dirty holiday washing, and ness as soon as you get back. I'd just focus on one room and leave it at that.

Order some clothes for next day delivery. There’s always summer stuff online.

For the work news, when something is weighing heavy on my I picture a notice board in my head, I write down on an imaginary post it my worry and I pin it (sometimes aggressively) to the board. If it needs to be a physical note that’s fine too but the idea is that the thing that is playing on your mind is on a note for you to come back to later and not in your head so you can put it to one side.

You don’t have to get nails done but if you really want to and don’t have time before, see if there is somewhere you can get them done on holiday. Lovely way to start it with a bit of you time.

And fuck cleaning the house. It’s not essential and you have other stuff to prioritise. Or DH can do it.

Packing I alway do the day before anyway so don’t worry. Just ask you are doing bits you can start to collate items thought out the week or write lists of what you want to pack for each person if ChatGPT isn’t specific enough.

You got this!

I like that you say please. I do this with Alexa 😂

Get in the bath, drink the wine, watch friends. Do something to try and reset the circuit. You have a week. Order a few dresses and a swim suit online- you don't need much when it's a family holiday. Get the kids to pack their bags, make them a list. Feck the house, just make sure the fridge is emptied.

Check if the airport has a mani/pedi bar and if it's feasible book yourself a treat in the airport. Or find one at your hotel/town on holiday for the first day and ditch DH with the kids at the pool

1 week? A sunny swimming holiday? Mate, you hardly need anything.

Kids (each)

Swim stuff x 2
Crocs/sliders
4 day t shirts
4 shorts
7 night time t shirts
Hoodie x 2
Pjs
Mozzie bands and spray
8 undies
8 socks
1 towel
iPad each with downloaded programmes and music
Headphones
Pens and paper
Bumbag
Hairbrush
Headbands etc.
goggles

Give them that list with their bag and they can crack on

Also, who are you cleaning for? The burglars? 🤣

I admit I like a really clean tidy house before I go because coming home can be hard enough without walking in the door to a daunting job. When I worked FT I got cleaners in to do a big once over and a carpet cleaner too. I know you have to tidy a bit to facilitate a cleaner but you could just have a big tub to throw all the random stuff into and sort on return. It will be a pleasure to walk in the door.

You really don't need your hair done before holidays. With two small kids it's not like you'll be going anywhere fancy and it will probably end up tied up with the heat anyhow. So book an appt for the weekend after you return.

I understand OP. I work PT now so lots of time to get organised and i still get stressed and overwhelmed with upcoming holidays.

I have never got my nails done for a holiday. File and paint them yourself. Take the clothes you had last year on holiday or as PP says get some basics delivered next day. Just t shirts, shirts, swimming costume. Hair can wait till you get back. Just pack the kids clothes, it’s only a short flight, surely they can sit on a plane without entertainment ? Tell each of them to take one thing only with them. Something easy to put in a backpack. Anything you need you can buy there. Don’t overthink!

Next and new look have a specific 'holiday shop' section. Plenty of swimwear, summer dresses and pool cover ups on there. Worth looking if other shops do the same.
Good luck- will be worth it when you are there!

Get on Amazon prime if you have it, free trial if you don’t, and buy a swimsuit, a few one size fits all beach cover ups and a couple of wrap dresses for the evening. There’s loads of stuff on there for delivery tomorrow. Then get on the phone and make a hair/nail appointment. Once the appointments made you’ll go. You and DH take responsibility for your own and one child each packing. Get the kids to sort their own flight packs out.

Book a one off clean for before you go or very soon after you get back. I’ve just done this and the difference it made is incredible. It’ll be part of my holiday prep from now on.

You don't need to pack much. A few shorts and tshirts for the children plus swim gear and underwear. One or 2 jumpers, some suncream. Same for yourself plus 1 or 2 dresses. Hair and nails I don't know, never done them myself bar a trim a couple of times a year. Not essential.

Never bothered with much specifically for flights. Just get them a magazine at the airport and a couple of small toys in the hand luggage. Job done.