Adding your surname to your child’s in court

[mamadance]

Hi, looking for some advice.

i split with my child’s father 3 years ago, i have been asking him for the past 3 years if I could add my surname to our child’s name and make it double barrel. We split with my baby just turned 1, never married and only together 3 years.

He point blank refuses to accept my name on our child’s in anyway and has gone as far to tell my four year old that he doesn’t also have my late grandads middle name, only his grandads. He hates me that much he doesn’t want my son to have anything of me.

I’ve taken my son abroad and had to have birth certificate to prove I am his mum, however his dad will not have to do this ever - doesn’t seem right since I carried him.
i also have a lives with order and he has contact arrangement/spends time with his dad.

I’m looking to now apply to the court as he will not agree to a double barrel surname, not removing his just adding mine as his mum, I really do not see the problem. It is very common to have double barrel surnames nowadays.

has anyone recently done this in court, and how likely is it to be approved? Am I wasting time or do I have any rights at all left as his flesh & blood, mother, main caregiver (probs not in this day and age! 🤣😭)

thanks in advance x

Will you succeed? Probably.
should you? No.

you gave your child a name at birth. That was your opportunity to choose a name. That name now belongs to your child. It shouldn’t be your name to change.

Situations change, why should the baby have only the father’s surname in the current situation? Double barrelled is a reasonable solution.

Why didn't you just follow tradition? He should have had you name to begin with.

You don't have to use his legal name for anything you know? When you enroll him at school just use your surname. Tell him his name is name, grandads name, your surname. Even GP I think doesn't need legal name. Only passport would.

No different to women using their married/maiden names before/after deedpoll. I know quite a few foreign children who use westernised names on everything here.

@FlingThatCarrot the school said they have to use his legal name, I have added my name but where his dad is so anti it they have removed it.

once again his word over mine.

@NeedANewOne25 totally agree. Thank you