Running from abusive husband

[Accbabymom1994]

If someone lives in Pakistan, been married to a man for over 31 years but finally has enough and wants to leave with her daughter, they are both British citizens, how can the British embassy help ?

I'm.sure the British Embassy can help but you might get better advice from someone like Karma Nirvana who are more specialist.

Bump,

I really need advice

How old is your daughter? Old enough to be able to legally decide where she wants to live without a court case??

This is UK based but I am sure they will know of any organisations in Pakistan who can support

www.britishpakistanfoundation.com/resources/resources-for-women/

She's 20

It's my sister

So no minors are involved and therefore no child custody issues? But she might struggle to leave because of her husband. I would have thought that's exactly the thing embassyd are supposed to help with. But what does she need? Travel documents? Money to travel (I am not sure if the embassy usually provides that, maybe in emergencies), rescuing from a house in Pakistan if she can't get to the embassy/airport? The latter would be the UK embassy coordinating with the Pakistan authorities I imagine

Sorry if he above sounds like a list of questions. But it would probably help to clarify (in your. Mind, you don't need to share here) what help you think you will need from the embassy because then when you talk to them (or other organisations) you can give as clear a view as possible of the situation and what help you need.

If someone is a British citizen , has a passport and can get herself to an airport , buy a ticket and come to family here .. is that not all that's needed ?

Is she in danger in either country or safe to leave him and settle back in the uk

Okay so this post is of my mom , she got married to my father 31 years ago and she went to pakistan with him when I was 8 and wasn't aware of what was gonna happen. He's living off his brothers income , my mom doesn't have any money, she sent my brother to my uncle here and now my brother earns and is trying to support her but he's only 24 and lives with my uncle my dad's brother . 2 of us are married and now it's getting really hard because my sister cnt take anymore. So we want to know how the embassy gna help

She needs to contact the embassy and tell them this to find out what they can do to help. I think they may be able to loan her money to enable her to get back to the UK. If you think she needs support in getting out, can you go over to help her?

If your mum won't leave, will your sister leave without her? She could say she's coming to visit you, eg you're having an operation and need her to help out, then she simply stays in the UK?

I know the embassy can help with providing emergency travel documents if she can't access her passport but is a British citizen for example (although they might ask for proof that she is a UK citizen/who she says she is). But providing emergency passports etc is bread and butter.
I dont know how and in what circumstances they can pay for flights etc if you are concerned about her being unable to afford these.
I know that there are situations (usually arranged marriages) where they have gone with local police to houses to get people. I don't know if she needs that or even where in Pakistan she is.
If she is being prevented from leaving the country at the airport etc then that's also something that an embassy should help with.
If she needs supporting financially when back in the UK then that's a different issue and not within the remit of the embassy-it would be regular benefits stuff. If your brother lives with your uncle you may need help disentangling yourselves here. That would probably also not be the business of the embassy, but for charities and local government (and police if there is a threat).

But I would talk to some specialist charities like the ones recommended upthread because they will have an idea of what sort of help your mother and sister might need and what the embassy can do and will do.

The whole family has disowned me so there is no way I cn go and help it will make things worse. Also I need my mom to get out too because this cycle will never end

Thank you so much x

Finance isn't a problem I can help with that it's the actual getting out, she has been in the cycle for so long it's hard convincing her I'm in the uk

"she has been in the cycle for so long it's hard convincing her I'm in the UK"

That's were it gets very tricky - in theory at least, if a UK citizen is being held against her will abroad the UK absolutely has a duty to help them where possible. But if someone talks to her and she says "I'm fine" they can't exactly help her against her will. It's the exact same dynamic that occurs with the police and DV victims in the UK but more complicated because of the geographical distance/less specialist support etc. I have been in the situation of someone I care about telling me that they want to leave their relationship and then changing their mind and it's really really difficult. It's difficult for them too because if they have been trapped in that situation for so long it's hard to see or imagine a way out and it's easy to become frozen.
I would still speak to the embassy yourself. If you can provide a clear road map of what help they can give, what help you can give etc it might make it easier for her to see their is a way out etc. And I would assume they will have plenty of experience dealing with this issue themselves and might have suggestions we haven't thought of. But if she changes her mind about wanting to leave there is little you or the embassy can do until she changes her mind back so do be prepared for that possibility and look after your own MH.

Sorry, didn't want to sound too downbeat - what I mean is do everything you can, but for the parts of this you don't/can't have control over don't blame yourself. (bitter experience)

Thanks for the advice guys