Second child guilt?

[kyuyy]

I just am sat up feeling so guilty and like a shit mum

2nd child was unplanned. I wanted a bigger age gap as I knew how tough a smaller one would be and I’d struggle mentally but these things happen I just felt lucky to have a healthy baby and smooth pregnancy

The age gap is 2 years exactly (2years2weeks) so quite close? I feel like my eldest is still a baby and was when she was born

im reflecting as my maternity leave has gone in a blur. I feel like I’ve been a bit depressed. It felt like just surviving the first few months and she’s nearly 9 months now and I feel awful

the 2 nursery days my eldest was in, I spent catching up on housework and stuff. We go out the shops and do baby sensory classes

but it was less than with my first and I have so much guilt? I mean don’t get me wrong we constantly go out the days my son isn’t in nursery too. So it’s not constant boring stuff

i just feel bad with my eldest it was 3 baby classes a week etc

and I feel like I’m split in 2 trying to juggle both constantly “mummy will be one minute” to each of them and it makes me worried

will they grow up and hate me and think I didn’t give them enough attention?

No child needs 3 babyclasses a week. Don't worry.

Your 2nd child will be perfectly happy.

Our 2nd and 3rd like the freedom of not being the 1st child.

I am struggling to understand what you are saying? Neither child will remember their earliest days so if there are differences between their young lives, they won't have a clue! I have no idea what you feel guilty for?

There's 22 months between my eldest two. They are adults now and they are so close to each other, I love it!

I did find it hard to divide my attention between two when it had been focused on one, but it soon fell into place.

I think it’s just as I have my eldest all my undivided attention and she’s only had snippets of that and I just feel like there’s always a chore or something to do

bottles dishes hoovering mopping dusting etc

And With 2 I’ve had less help I get that. Minding 1 baby is manageable but 2 is harder I feel outnumbered myself

so I just feel like I’m trying to split myself in 2 and keep the house up and it’s hard

shes such a happy baby and smiley though so it reassures me when she just stares at me smiling but I just feel bad because it’s hard managing 2 alone

You don't need to feel bad for the children. They have what they need. They are loved!