Is this a normal thing for friends to do or a date?

[Undercoverstory]

I'm so out of practice, both at dating and making new friends, but a big change of circumstances means needs must.

I was going out with few friends last night. One offered a lift and I suggested we meet at my house for a drink, to make his pick ups easier. As I had planned to make a big curry for me and DC, I invited anyone who wanted to to join for food too.

In the event, only this man came for food and it was very pleasant. He was really good with very introverted teen DS, made a proper effort.

Anyway we ate, watched the end of the football, then he suggested watching some of Strictly while we waited for the others. I'm not a fan, haven't watched more than the odd episode in years, but we did and had a lot of fun watching together. It ccured to me that this is what you miss when single, no one to do the really ordinary things with.

Anyway, then we went out with the gang and had a good evening.

He's suggested we watch together next week.

He's a good man (see effort with DS), a lot younger than me, but closer to my age than DS's. I don't find him particularly attractive and TBH, he's more valuable to me as a friend than as a potential romance.

I don't want any "misunderstandings".

Do you want to hang out again with him next week? If you do then you have to make it clear that you will only ever be friends and nothing more. Don’t assume that he knows this and then there won’t be any misunderstandings.

Be explicit your friend that you like his platonic company. You’re a great friend compliment

Night's in only you two may be initially misconstrued so meet in cafe etc not always your gaff

Also until I knew someone and was confident & settled in their company I’d not do just me and them social at my house. That’s a male or female thing. I suppose because home is home it’s not same as a social environ

How did you meet him?
can you get any background opinion on him from others you trust?

It doesn’t sound like a date to me, something I would do with my friends (although not strictly - I can’t stand it!). If you’re worried then just make it clear you think of him as a friend only.

The friendship group is fairly new to me (a couple of years) and he's a new addition in the last 6 months, so I've known him a while and know lots of people who've known him longer. It takes me a long time to move people from "someone I know" to "friends".

I wouldn't have invited him to my house for dinner alone, but invited "everyone" to share food with me and older teen DSs.

I'd be perfectly comfortable to be alone with him though, my only concern would be how it looks and what he might think it meant.

So long as you’re explicit it’s a friendship I imagine it’ll be fine. A good pal to hang out with. You sound pretty sensible about it all

I think you just need to be clear that you're just friends. If he likes you, he could easily think this could lead to something else.

You are not solely responsible for his reactions & responses. women aren’t here to make sure men do not misconstrue friendship and form ill fated unreciprocated romantic notions. so long as you’re clear it’s friendship he need to hear the message

I known I'm not responsible, but I also don't want a situation that affects the group friendships to develop.

I get that.However The majority of answers are how you manage his feelings and don’t disappoint him. When given a clear message he’s responsible for managing his own feelings. Onus isn’t upon you to not inadvertently mislead him romantically

Invite others in the group around as well? Even if no one comes, if you’ve said ‘Strictly watching gathering at my house on Saturday at 7, if anyone is up for it?’ on a group WhatsApp, you’ve made it plain it’s a casual friend situation, not a covert ‘date’.

The snag is that I suppose you may find yourself expectedly hosting a party…😀

I would t rule anyone out as potential when you barely know them - pride and prejudice wouldn't have ever been written !

Amusing though it is to imagine the aristocratic Darcy eating a curry while watching football, with a face like thunder at the ‘lowness’ of these pursuits. Yet he suggests coming again the next week, because even her low origins cannot cancel out the OP’s ‘fine eyes’ and arch wit?

Are your teeth ‘tolerable’, OP?

🤣 Ahem....it is a work of fiction though 🤣

I'm a lesbian and have multiple times found myself in awkward situations where I have been on accidental dates with men due to not realising it's a date, because I am that clueless. And even I think this 100% sounds like he wants it to be a date.

Yes me too! Been in very awkward situations!

You have to make it very clear. In fact, I wouldn't invite him round again unless in a group situation. If then you get to know him and like him all fair and good.