Dungeons and Dragons players, can anyone help?

[BigBlueTeapot]

I appear to have committed a faux pas.

I saw on a local FB page someone setting up a D and D group. My autistic young adult has wanted to join a group for ages so I signed them up. It wasn't clear in the post it was for experienced players only.

They are meeting for the first time next week to start a new campaign

It has now transpired that the others in the group are experienced D and D ers and two or three don't want my youngster joining as a newbie. The DM says it's ok though.

My youngster like a lot of autistic people has done a bunch of research and understands in theory how D and D works

Is he going to ruin the game somehow? Is there anything he can do to get up to speed before session zero? I am worried the others will be hostile to him and it's the first event he is willingly leaving the house to go to for a couple of years. Would it be better to just pull him out? I am reluctant to if it's salvageable, because he really could do with a regular group like this to get out of the house.

Oh this is tough. Can you find another? Surely there's one that doesn't have that stipulation. How did it transpire that a few of them didn't want an inexperienced player? I guess it depends on how good of a leader the DM is. I'm wondering whether the few who had an issue with it will respect the DM's wishes.

It's donkey's years since I played (AD&D), but if your DS understands the rules and theory of play, and the DM is OK with it, I can't see why it should be a problem. He could practise by creating some characters, if he hasn't already done so, and playing out some scenarios.

If he goes along and it doesn't work out, he could always look for a beginners' group instead.

There are also some good YouTube videos of people playing so he could watch those too get a feel for how the game worked. I've played casually but DH is more into it, his friends are open to players of all experiences but some wet played with before at a game shop did not like it if you didn't take it very seriously, we only played there a couple of times. It can be really fun, great for the imagination, social skills and basic maths. It's a good game for kids. The DM seems reasonable, give it a go and the DM might be same to recommend a game with more younger people if it doesn't work out

I don't think it matters - if they don't want him they don't want him
Seems mean! Try and find another group.

How do you know some in the group don't want him?

Hello,

With D&D each player will have a character that has certain abilities based on its ‘race’ etc. The character gains abilities depending on the campaign’s it’s involved in (games played).

The dungeon master ‘DM’ will create campaigns that fit the players ability levels. DMs plan adventures and encounters with ‘monster’ etc based on the characters ability to kill them. So a level one character playing with a level 15 character would slow down the game because they would not have the appropriate health, intelligence, charisma etc to survive with higher level characters and the monsters they would need to combat for a good challenging game.

Most games that are open to new players will state what level the characters should be at. And people tend to like player with the same players because it is a cooperative game and you need a good balance of abilities to have a fun campaign.

So for example my LO has a high ability character but could not use that character in a campaign with a low ability character because the power imbalance would be too great to make a good adventure.

My DH and LO play D&D, so I’m speaking from the perspective of a knowledgeable non-player not a player.

I’d say if the dm is sympathetic and helpful towards the flow of play, your son should be given a chance, seems a bit mean of the other players imo. You’ll always get players that know the nuances of the rules better than others, so as long as there’s a basic understanding of the way the game is played I think your son should give it a go.

The main reason that experienced players might not like beginners is that they worry they'll spend all the time explaining basic rules and concepts. If your DS is prepared to look things up and watch videos, and if the DM is on board, then he should be absolutely fine. (In my experience!) Just so long as he isn't asking the others for advice or rules every five minutes.

Ultimately, the DM is in charge but your LO would probably have much more fun (by not constantly getting killed and missing turns while waiting to get revived) if they play with players that are using characters that are at the same or similar levels.

Wouldn't they have to play at a lower level? Been 40 years since I last played but even then I remember not being good enough to play certain campaigns

D&D beyond is an app where you can get the books- they have a free 'general rules' and you can also get the players handbook (and more!).

I use it to quickly search terms to read about, the if I still don't get it, I'll ask. I've played on and off for 25 years, but DB and his friends are devotees!

Another thing that is different from "back in the day" is how many general gaming concepts people pick up from video games, which borrowed so many concepts from "tabletop" games. Most young people who have played any fantasy-based video games can get up to speed really quickly.

We are in a WhatsApp group. I have become Comms person as my young adult (he's 23) doesn't use social media

One more thought: there is a difference between experienced players and experienced characters. If it's a brand new campaign they might all be starting with new characters at a very low level, which would be a little more beginner-friendly as the characters have fewer options.

Yes they are starting a session zero with brand new characters and a new campaign. The first session is designing characters.

The others are experienced players.

Are other members neurodiverse? That would partially explain the not wanting anyone new. Otherwise it's a bit mean and I'd ignore them.

I don’t see that the character level has to be an issue - it’s a while since I last played, but we just created new characters at the relevant level for the campaign we were starting. When we brought new players we did do at the level our existing characters were, you don’t have to start at level 1. Depends on the attitude of the group, but those rules should be set by the DM.

It’s a tough one OP. I’d be tempted to try and find a beginner group or a more welcoming one. If the other players are resentful of your son joining then it would be easy for them to make it not very enjoyable for him - it’s very much a cooperative team game. How many people are involved? Could you message the DM directly and basically put this question to them?

Edit: cross posted on the level question! That’s not an issue then.

At present I have suggested that my youngster comes along to session zero and the DM can then decide if he would be better in a newbies group, in which case no hard feelings. Is that reasonable?

We had a go at playing at home a while back, as DS wanted to try it. We had to abandon it as I was a terrible default DM.

Ah, I see, then your LO should be able to join without any problems. It’s up to the DM, the players should accept the fact that the DM says it’s okay.

I hope your LO finds some nice people to play with. D&D is so important to my LO and has helped them in so many ways. It’s a wonderful game. Good luck but if the players are unwelcoming asses look elsewhere for a nicer group of people for your LO to learn with.

None of them knows each other - it's a newly set up group

I don't know for sure if any are ND but it doesn't seem a huge stretch that they might be!

It will be useful for him to know what they are using (presumably 5E) are they allowing Tash's, Mordenkainens extras etc. Also do they have any house rules they use and what are they.
Does he have an idea for the character he wants to play? If it's one with spells I recommend printing off spell cards, makes it much easier.
Also find out things like do they use figures or only theatre of the mind.

That sounds perfectly reasonable.

Him playing with an experienced DM will be very different from playing with you 'filling in' that role.

Well, good luck to him!! I have found that DnD can be a wonderful experience for neurodivergent people as it provides structure and rules for storytelling and absolutely requires teamwork rather than conflict between the players. Maybe ask him explicitly to ask rules questions to the DM? or ask the DM in advance if there are any particular rules or information it would be useful for your DS to read?

One practical thought; if the group can decide via WhatsApp before session 0 roughly which sorts of characters they want to play, then DS can read up about particular character classes.

Yes there are some suggestions in the thread. One wants to be an elf which apparently requires some thought to keep that character protected.
DS has said he will fit in with the others and doesn't have a character he insists on being (he was a female troll when we played at home)

Someone is bringing characters and dice

I'm off to get my Vampire :The Masquerade stuff out .