Those of you who had speech delayed boys…

[Nosleepforthismum]

Did they eventually catch up? Or was it a pretty definite indicator of something else going on (ASD/ADHD).

DS has just turned 3 and is delayed in his speech. He had a reasonable amount of ND flags when younger - walking on tiptoes, late to babble, point, late to respond to his name, in fact just generally on the late side for all milestones. However, he was 5 weeks premature and has been hospitalised for various illnesses up until nearly 2 so he had a bit of a rough start. He’s now physically on track, has mostly stopped toe walking (although still occasionally does it) and is getting there with his speech but only recently putting together 2-3 word sentences so maybe around a year behind?

Just thinking about schools and whether he’d be best at a private primary with small classes or large primary with a pretty big SEN unit or the OFSTED outstanding medium sized primary with a great reputation but unsure of their accommodations for kids with SEN.

He doesn’t start until September 2026 so I’m lucky that he’s the eldest in the year in this respect but I’m just trying to get an idea of how things may pan out.

Has he had his hearing checked?

Yes at around 18 months which indicated a bit of glue ear but not enough to affect his speech at that stage. We’ve recently been referred again though so that may give some answers.

Mine is now 14. He does have ASD and ADHD. He was very late to talk. He just screeched until he was about to reach 4. (We did have his hearing checked).

He definitely caught up. Oh yes. I used to wish he would say anything at all! Now he is extremely verbal (understatement!) and enjoys drama and acting and singing and is very advanced with his vocabulary.

We put him in a small indy with only 16 in the class. He is still there, still with about 16 in his class. For us that was the right decision, because SEN provision where we live is very patchy. He is the youngest in his year so I would say for your child OP, being one of the oldest will help alot.

We had a speech delay and a speech sound disorder. Everything pretty much resolved itself ( enough to be signed off by SALT) before he turned 6. As it happens we were in a small private school.
Generally speaking it went ok, he had a set of signs that we had learnt to bolster his speech. You just had to get your ear in to understand him. He does also happen to have an autism diagnosis, he is now a very articulate teenager.
I would suggest approaching your local SALT unit although I suspect waiting lists have gone up since we were in the system. He's old enough they will look into therapy now.

Mine ended up with an ADHD diagnosis age 10.

He did well in a nurturing primary school. We went private for secondary to get smaller classes and more support, the comp we were offered was poor for SEN provision.

Of the choices you list I’d probably choose the large primary with the SEN unit, providing its reputation is good.

You can get good SEN support at the right state school, I wouldn’t assume you need to go private at this stage.

Our boy sounds very similar to yours at that age. He’s 10 now and you would never know, but it was such a worry at the time so my heart goes out to you. Glue-ear was a factor for him too.

We did go private with his schooling, as we had an excellent one near us with small classes and an in-house SLT. He has flourished there, but there are obviously great/not-great schools in both sectors so ultimately comes down to what’s available in your area.

OP my son didn’t speak until he was five, he was autistic.

we moved him from state to private in year one and he has absolutely flourished in fact he’s in the debating society now at 12 and doesn’t shut up which we are delighted about.

I found the smaller class sizes and constant rules really helped him in every way. But it’s the way that they’ve been constantly putting on school plays and speaking in class which has really made him communicate. I know not all kids are the same and not all schools either but this was what worked for us.

For us it was ASD. At three we still questioned it, like you lots of improvement but the gap widened so by four we felt we needed a referral. By five we'd joined SEN groups but we didn't feel entirely comfortable that we were in the right setting. By 6 it was blindingly obvious to strangers. Diagnosed at seven.

However I do know people who were in the same boat as us at 3 whose children were just speech delayed and who are NT so honestly I think you can't be sure but the gap widens.

Slightly different as DS has a speech sound disorder rather than speech delay but he’s at a private primary with a learning support unit in house and he’s made great progress. Other private schools are terrible for SEN so I’d research carefully.

I think in your case I’d go for the state school with the SEN unit as you want experienced people who can help pursue a diagnosis. In my area the NHS SALT and OT refused to visit a private school as they said they didnt treat private school kids until I kicked up a huge fuss.

I have two - one ASD, one turned out to be Developmental Language Disorder.

Which isn’t to say that yours will turn out to have a diagnosis, but I’d certainly keep an eye on him. I’d go for a state primary with good SEN support at the point too.

Get a SALT referral, but be aware that NHS provision is dire. Both of mine go a year in between appointments, so I pay for it privately (which may still involve a long waiting list).

Yes the gap widening is something I’m aware of and it’s difficult to predict which way it’ll go at this stage. We’ve been pretty proactive since around 18 months and he’s got a private SALT working with him every couple of months, the preschool have secured some inclusion funding for him and the HV is aware and doing regular visits every six months to check on progress. No one is willing to refer him for an assessment yet though as he doesn’t seem to struggle in other areas like sensory issues or repetitive behaviours (except the toe walking which has mostly stopped) and he seems to be learning language in a typical way albeit much later than his peers.

DS now 6 had speech delay and speech sound disorder which is childhood apraxia of speech. He is at mainstream primary but we have been exceptionally lucky that he has a temporary placement at a specialist resource Base dedicated to speech and language disorder. It's a small class and loads of resources, based in another mainstream school and he is really thriving. We definitely suspect autism but don't want to rock the boat in terms of getting the speech provision at the moment, which is the currently the priority in terms of his development.

Do you have the option of paying for private speech therapy? You have a good chunk of time before he starts school, and consistent speech therapy sessions could make such a huge difference to him before he starts. I can't recommend doing this highly enough, if you are fortunate enough to have the funds.

Glue ear does fluctate and while most kids out grow it by 6 my DD’s glue ear actually got worse at that age. A very small operation sorted it.

Miy DS was on weekly appointments with SaLT, he didn’t utter a word until month before his fourth birthday. I wasn’t too concerned (his comprehension was superb from early on) but I wanted to support his communication abilities.
He went to both a busy city primary and a small rural one, and thrived in both. Ended up Deputy Headboy at High School, straight As in all exams, and has a Masters in Medieval Literature and Language. Plus, he never shuts up 😂😂.

Honestly, if he understands instructions well try not to worry too much.

Glue Ear here too. DS had so many autism assessments, but had no other indicators. We had to fight for hearing tests. But after a year of watchful waiting he finally had grommets and was talking clearly a week afterwards. Needed SALT for a little while.

Hello, some update? @Nosleepforthismum

My DS was late-ish to talk. And unclear when he did begin. Had SALT input. Pretty sure ASD but not diagnosed. Also now literally never shuts up. Can tell he is asleep because he stops talking.