SEN school experiences and opinions

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Hi , my child is in Yr 3 at a mainstream school. He is autistic (Non verbal) with an ehcp in place. Since the new term began it is becoming more apparent that he may need to move to a specialist school and his behaviour is showing that he may find certain aspects of his day overestimating and traumatising.

I guess I'd like some input from other parents thar have found themselves in the same position. Did you keep your child in mainstream and try more and more strategies or did you make the move to a specialist school. How did your dc cope before and after?

Thank you.

I'm really glad I started this thread. I was an emotional wreck yesterday. My son's teacher gave me a hug when I was speaking with her about all of this because I was sobbing. But having read all of these posts it feels like we've made a step in the right direction for my son , and the focus is on his present and future happiness , which we are ready to fight for.

It's so hard to do the right thing when everything is a battle and you're so sleep deprived! I'm sure I don't need to say that to all of you though , you're living it too.

Thanks again.

I'm afraid we are not very happy with our son's specialist school and I know we aren't the only ones, and it was the best of a very bad bunch.
There are just so many fewer opportunities and it's so much less enriching. One of the schools we saw had a sea of mud with broken metal toys - like one of those awful front yards you see - as the junior playground. Another had things that were clearly cupboards that were going to be the Y6 classroom. Current school has a load of equipment for science standing idle because they don't bother doing science. They told my friend they teach mechanics but they'd just lost their mechanics teacher and were planning to teach car valeting instead.
It all gives me the impression that if your child has SEN they don't matter and they lose the right to normal enjoyment of life. All these are things that you'd never put up with in a mainstream school and that children in that actual school would enjoy or benefit from. It's like they are a lower form of human that doesn't matter.

Drsspouse - can I ask what type of special school? My experience has been that some of the indie special schools (not all!) are run to make money first and foremost. I have met some appaling head teachers of indies in this sector. And they neither understand nor engage with their kids and their needs. I think rather sadly the same has happened with 'big name' sponsors of new special schools in the state sector. Just absent or shocking leadership.

But to OP - best move we ever made. I remember seeing a visiting primary school when mine were smaller, and there was a girl there with her 1to1. It was so striking how little she was getting from it. She was just being managed - her learning wasn't even considered. She would have been so much better in special, in a class tailored to her development.

@drspouse that sounds dreadful. I hate the idea that kids with SEN don’t get the same opportunities as others. I have seen similar in a SEN base I looked at, not actually built yet, but I was invited to “imagine” what it would look like when it was built and stick it on DS’ EHCP anyway. (Er, it’s a no from me). It had no facilities, no space, and looked like a prison. I also viewed one where the head said “if pupils leave here only two years behind their peers, it’s job done”. (Another hard no).

DS’ new specialist school is nothing like that. The facilities they have absolutely blow my mind, and the kids (all ASC, generally without LD’s) get so many opportunities there. I had years of DS being unable to go on school trips, but he’s just attended his first class swimming lesson and will be learning to sail in the Spring term. The school absolutely meets the needs of autistic children and the staff are heroes in my book. My DS is coping with full days for the first time and engaging with lessons. Not surprisingly, the school is hugely oversubscribed and not many get in without a tribunal. (DS’ class of 3 has two more places available, none taken up yet because no tribunal date).

I suppose the lesson for the OP is to visit every school and don’t make a decision based on reputation only. Sometimes it’s horses for courses as well - one mother really disliked DS’ new school at an open day, because she felt it too large and overwhelming for her ASC boy.

These are all indie SEMH schools - no option for LEA in our area if you are SEMH.
To be fair to DS school it is physically lovely and has animals, gardens, small livestock - but they are full of promises on things they can't do, rather than just being honest.