Are many teen boys like this?

[CocoPlum]

DS, just 13. Lovely boy, has always done pretty well at school for being youngest in class (late summer born). In high school has had a lot of low level negative behaviour points for talking in class, not putting enough effort in, etc.
There's no ND in the family, but his dad keeps asking if I think he has ADHD.
Some markers are there but others are not.
This feels to me like the behaviour of a lot of young teen boys that I've known, but ... is it? Or is this normal, just being bored in class? He's in higher sets and generally on time, happy at school, not being negatively affected by anything.

You’ve literally given zero information and asked if he could have adhd…

So due to some low level misbehaviour in class your DH thinks he has ADHD? Its no wonder the waiting lists are long!

I work in a secondary school as support staff. I see all the negative points children get and know a lot of them. It sounds pretty normal to me!

Ah yes also negative points get given by some teachers at the drop of a hat. DS2 has had one for sitting in the wrong place after the seating plan was changed when he was off. DS1 got one for saying thank you when he was lent a pen by another pupil. This wasn't just what they said either it was actually confirmed by the teachers. I wouldn't use the negative/positive marks at school as a real test of ability to behave.

My DS was exactly like that. Grew out of it by year 10. No ND.

1 DS was just the same, the other never got a single behaviour point.

Not sure what that proves!

DS has ADHD. He's had two negative behaviour points ever (year 11 now).

DD has AuDHD. She has had one negative behaviour point (year 12 now) and it was in week 2 of year 7 (for not doing homework).

I have AuDHD. I never once got a negative behaviour point.

DH has ADHD. A while ago now, but he got the cane once. No negative behaviour points ever.

Having negative behaviour points isn't part of
the diagnostic criteria for ADHD. Some kids will get them of course.

What actually makes you/your husband think he might have ADHD?

Yep! Everyone needs an excuse.
For the record I have two teens with autism and one also has adhd and both are well behaved focused lads. Sounds like he's acting the goat - maybe to gain friends or appear cool. It's common.. but gets you nowhere academically.

No, I'm asking (per my thread title) if teen boys tend to be like this at school, is this kind of behaviour normal?

Apologies, I didn't mean to suggest your- or anyone else's- children with ADHD aren't well behaved, lovely, or high achieving!

Thank you though - I think this too. He's v much like my brother who went on to get good GCSEs and eventually a doctorate.

So ... his dad and I are not together.

I have a new partner who has a son of the same age. DP and his son have ADHD diagnoses and their experiences of things like extreme emotional responses, school avoidance etc are not things my son shows signs of.
As i mentioned above, my brother was the same, playing the class clown etc, is now in academia with multiple degrees. I feel like a lot of boys I knew in school were the same, just messing around.
So I don't think he does have ADHD but I'm trying to judge if I'm making excuses to his dad by saying I think it's normal.

I've been a teacher for 30 years. Yes, the type of low-level behaviour you describe is very common and is not specific to kids with ADHD.

Totally normal..
DS2 was like this. Bright but bored, so very chatty. He settled when things got serious.

My DSis hasn't gone for diagnosis but most definitely has AuDHD (and I do know - see my previous post - genetics are strong in our family).

She has good GCSEs and a doctorate. Poor educational performance is also not one of the diagnostic criteria for ADHD.

I know that you're not the one pushing this, but I don't think you really understand what ADHD is. Have you talked to your partner? This might help you understand better, which might then help you articulate to your ex why you don't think he's right.

No wonder people have pre conceptions of those of us with ND when you read stuff like this.

I apologise if you feel I'm misunderstanding your ND. I don't think I made my original post clear in what I was asking.

I'm posting more to get other's experiences on if this kind of lack of focus etc is common in young teen boys, because I believe that it is perfectly normal, but most of my mum friends are those with older girls.

There are lots of aspects of ADHD that I see my partner and his child experience that my son does not, things that can affect their everyday function way more than a little bit of lack of focus in the classroom. I have pointed these things out to my ex but I think he's probably googled for signs and found lists which essentially describe a lot of this in-school type behaviour and not so much examples of the deeper issues.

Thank you. I articulated my original post poorly but this is what I was asking!

Apologies for my poor articulation. What I probably should have said was that throughout primary he always performed well but this has deteriorated at high school slightly because he's not focusing as much, talking and laugjing with friends seems to be most of it, and this has led to lots of low level negative behaviour points.I do know poor educational performance is definitely not a factor (I bet the hyperfocus is perfectly suited for a PhD!).

My opinion is that he's bored in certain subjects that he's not interested in, that he just prefers chatting with his friends, and I think this is normal - I probably should have kept the "dad thinks he might have ADHD" out of it as I think this has muddied what I wanted to ask and also unintentionally offended those with experience of ND.

However it is REALLY helpful to have experiences of those who have/had young teen boys and those who have this experience because it is adding to my belief that his behaviour doesn't necessarily indicate ND.

Yeah. This is normal. But I think to explain to you ex, you do need to understand a bit more on what wouldn't be normal. And it seems you have a partner who can easily explain this to you!

I do! Although when I've expressed it to him, he tends to point out the similarities! It has definitely helped to have him explain more about executive function issues though.

He is probably just lazy and a non-academic like I was (I haven't got ADHD!). Thrived in the work place though!

My DS 15 is waiting for an ADHD diagnosis. He also has had lots of low level behaviour detentions, and some impulsive behaviour which has landed him a few more serious detentions too, including a days suspension. So it sounds like your DS is not as "bad" behaviour wise as my DS.
Other symptoms are that he talks unnecessarily sometimes and fidgets at the dinner table, gets very hangry, poor organisational skills, doesn't focus in class in subjects he doesn't like that much but does focus on the ones he likes (isn't this everyone!). But his main symptom is impulsive behaviour.
His behaviour improves a lot with intense exercise, which I also read can be a symptom of ADHD. Luckily he does do competitive running.
He is academically able and does well in exams, so can concentrate when he wants to. And he likes reading and it calms him down.
There is a family history of ADHD. So based on all of this he has been referred by the GP and school.
I would have thought your DS's behaviour is within normal boundaries for a boy his age.

Not concentrating in class, minimal effort with homework ? Yes my DS was like that plus most of his friends and many of my friends' boys too. Mine would always put in the effort for something that interested him .

It sounds fairly normal teen boy behaviour to me .