DH is obsessing over our old house

[Member346563]

Background: a year ago we sold our house, 2 couples wanted it and both put in offers over the asking price. They both actually put in the same offer so rather than get into a bidding war we sold to the first couple to put the bid in.

we we’re happy obviously to sell the house but also as the young couple were particularly lovely in themselves and we assumed they would love the house as much as we did. It was an old Victorian end terrace, very large, we were there 25 years and raised our family there but after the kids had gone felt we needed to downsize. All went smoothly.

last week I was on Rightmove as my son is looking for a house in the same area we moved from and lo and behold if our old house isn’t back on the market. I looked at the pictures and I have to say they have done a marvelous transformation. Totally updated it, but it’s clear they haven’t really lived there.

its gone back on the market at 20k more than we sold for but baring in mind, stamp duty, solicitors fees, conveyancing plus the cost of the transformation I’d be surprised if they actually make any money from it.

I felt a bit disappointed that it was clearly not to be the family home I’d envisioned for them, showed my husband the ad and put it out of my mind.

my husband, on the other hand, has looked at the ad non stop, talked to other people about it, disparaged the work they have done (unfairly I think) and seems outraged. He keeps mentioning things he’s noticed that they’ve changed and, well, just keeps going on about it.

im beginning to wish I hadn’t shown it to him. Anyone give any insight into why he would be like this?

I'm assuming he feels it is some sort of disparaging comment on his masculinity? You know, in all those years he didn't do X, Y or Z DIY? He's taking it all very personally, but I can sort of understand it.

It's obvious they thought your home needed 'their' vision - which is always a bit insulting, particularly if it was a much loved family home. None of us like to think someone else would 'do it better'.

Oof. Rarely a good idea to look up old houses, same category as old flames. He's probably feeling hurt at all those memories being erased by the changes made to the house. Hopefully he'll be able to put it to rest soon.

The problem may not have been the house it may be they are moving for work or family reasons.
Or didn't get along with neighbours?

25 years is such a long time . I bet you both still feel very attached to it.

I got upset when we sold our old family home that we grew up in and the purchasers did some odd things.Totally understand people want to make their mark but they did some really odd things like turn a country garden (in the country) into a Japanese garden, and ripped out multiple brand new radiators and new bathroom amongst other things. They were only there about 5 years compared to our 25. It felt like they were ripping the soul out of it so I do get what your husband thinks.