Parents of kids with AuDHD, any ideas here?

[Foxxo]

I have 2 kids with Audhd, and i am myself, as is my brother, i'm also a youth mhfa, so i'm not unfamiliar with the situation i'm in, however, i have reached the end of my wealth of knowledge, so i'm asking for some thoughts/ideas.

DD is currently officially not diagnosed, but we're all (me, teachers..etc) all pretty certain she has ASD, and more than likely AuDHD. She is awaiting assessment, but the list here is loooooong. She doesn't yet have an EHCP but school are supporting her as a SEN student.

She's in her GCSE year, and we're having issues getting her to do some of her work, we know she knows her stuff, she knows she knows it, but it's like she's developed a mental block on being able to get it out of her head and onto paper.. she just shuts down on us, refuses to engage, and when asked about it says her brain just won't co-operate, it literally just 'switches off'

School have exhausted their ideas, we've tried a scribe, we've tried dictation, we've tried providing an ipad/computer, bullet pointing, we've tried movement breaks, earplugs (in case its sensory overload) and now i've exhausted my ideas that work for me, my DS and my DB.

I'm about to try one last ditch thing and see if adding caffeine into the mix can help (i have diagnosed AuDHD and medicate my adhd with coffee as trad meds don't help, but coffee does.. it turns my internal squirrel rave back into herdable ducks in a row 😂)

Anyone else have any thoughts/ideas on how we can help her get past this mental road block?

Hello there, I would also look into their eating habits. Nutrition can really support in behaviour management. Also I would ask and observe what is her preferred way of approaching learning (some people are more visual learners, other learn through step by step instructions, and others by doing things). And what about the environment: is it too noisy? does she need a separate space for exams or more time allocated to complete tasks?.

Another aspect that would be useful to talk to her about is the actual work (does she find it boring? or on the contrary is the task too difficult?). If it's too easy or too difficult she might loose her focus and feel blocked.

we're limited there with food, she's not quite ARFID level, but her eating is restricted, we support with supplements as best we can though.

We tried changing the environment, the work isn't too hard as such, but when the format is essay type questions like in History or English exams, she can manage one but then her brain just goes 'nope' and at that point nothing we or she tries can get her to re-engage with the next two or 3 questions.

Is she allowed quiet time in the learning centre with the SEN team (if you have one) ?
My AuADHD (as you, still awaiting the system, he's had the first paediatric appointment who thinks he'll assess for both) and he's allowed 2 lessons a day in there to do his work, he's dropping a language to feee up some time, can use the sensory room, has TA support, use of a lap top if needed.
Does she see the ed psyche?

I would try to keep her diet as balanced as you possibly can, even if restricted. It's also important to be cautious of processed foods and refined sugars, as these can negatively affect behaviour. Would be helpful to allocate more time for the exam? Perhaps she just needs breaks between questions to avoid feeling overwhelmed and recover her focus.

Just reread your message, seems lots of things in place already. Is it the fear of exams? It may be worth asking the school about specialist support for this current issue. You can get an EHCP without a diagnosis and she may need it for post 16 education (I'm just doing one for my DD who is autistic, taught from home at the moment but wanting to go to college in 2025

Thoughts -
Is she heading for burnout?
Do you wonder if she might have PDA?

my personal guess is that it’s pressure related, causing a sort of mutism/“no go” in the brain and she’s having a little shut down at the insurmountable concept of GCSEs. If you can ask school to source an educational psychologist or occupational therapist asap, or if you have funds you could consider it? Does she have DLA?

My thoughts would be for now to encourage school to lower any expectations on her - ask her to engage in learning but not in the production of work till you get a bit further in understanding what’s happening

My Audhd daughter similar age swears by Monster Energy. Makes her able to focus on homework and weirdly the massive caffeine levels don't affect her sleep.

I know the list of ingredients is dreadful but it might be worth a try.

there is certainly an elemant of demand avoidance, she's like my mirror and it's part of my profile too, so i have tried stuff that works for me and tried explaining how i react, but then take the time to work around things, and said a few times she has to help herself here because the only way around some of these issues is to find what works for her, otherwise she's going to struggle.

I do think some of this is burn out, she gets lots of downtime at home, i don't make many demands of her, the house is very sensory friendly due to us all being on the spectrum with varying degree of sensory need.

She doesn't have any official support, i've been battling the system with her since primary, but she 'fell through' the gap due to covid, her secondary school SENCO changing 3 times.. the current one is fab and really communicative with me and willing to try anything/everything we can think of to support her.

It's been very frustrating knowing it was relatively easy (hahaha) with her older brother who has it all, DLA/PIP, EHCP, special school...etc but getting anyone to listen where DD has been concerned has been a mountainous slog, and its surprised me considering i know the system and managed to get everything for DS!!

that was next on my list if she doesn't take to the coffee, she will drink coke, so the energy drinks are my absolute last resort while we're waiting on CAMHs!

I have an AuDHD’er with PDA. You’ve had some good advice above, but for us, it was medicating him that helped us turn a bit of a corner. It enables him to focus on doing what his ed psych calls “eating an elephant” (ie one step/bit at a time) when otherwise his mind just boggles and he freezes and doesn’t know where to start.

We’ve also had to accept that he will always struggle at school, even though his learning environment (special school for autistic kiddos) could not be more conducive to learning.