kids and social stories possible SEN

[86767ygh]

Ds is in year 2 and struggling socially at school. It's not only this year but their classes were mixed up and he struggling making friends. He may or not have SEN - and if so more of the PDA ASD/ADHD variety - i.e. he wants to have friends and is pretty social but finds it hard. He is fairly articulate about his own fears, responses etc but still struggles. He could probably do with a few more social stories. But it got me thinking - do most parents have to talk through social stories and social relations with their 6/7 year olds? Do kids usually get these things without parental input? Is the fact that he is struggling an indication of SEN? If you have used social story books in the past, which ones have been the best?

Hello. I found visual social stories quite helpful as well as walking through scenarios and exploring what the options were/are when he is calm.

DS had boxes of figures manly animals /dinosaurs. He would spend hours playing with them. I noticed when he came home from school he would play through lots of what appeared to be social scenarios.
DS has never had problems making friends but he is also very happy with his own company. Play dates and sleepovers help, DS had a few close friends but was very sporty so loved playing football at school. He also had to go to after school club and as a result played with children from other years.
In senior school he had a whole group of friends on the bus, one of which went to another school but they are now part of a close friendship group and are in the same uni city.

Not all children need a lot of friends, they learn to float and have one or two close friends but can move freely between social groups.

DS was the child that was tasked with buddying up with new kids. He was also very empathic so if someone was struggling he would be inclusive. Children can be cruel and his kindness wasn’t always popular but it has made him a better person.
He’s in his first year at uni and in a big flat of strangers. He was telling me about one flat member who wasn’t initially popular and he too found them a bit annoying but DS has persevered and now gets on with them.
He doesn’t like everyone but everyone gets a chance with him. Sometimes you have to teach them that first impressions are not always right.

Being a good friend is as important as making friends so maybe start by looking at what makes a good friend. There may be others at school who are struggling. Children are drawn to the popular children but often they are not the easiest of people to make friends with. Talk to him about children who are also on their own like him. Suggests games he can play with them.

At DS’s primary school if you took in your football then you were top dog that day. Although not all schools allow ball games, there are other pastimes that draw them into a group.

I had this with my two boys. Both had issues, particularly around year 1, with things like personal space, interrupting other people, hitting etc. and we read various social stories to help them understand how they should act. The school also made them some social stories to My eldest has been referred for assessment for ADHD and ASD. My younger son probably has similar issues but to a lesser degree. So, based on my experience it could be an indication of SEN.

Have you talked to the school about it? With my eldest the school put a learning support plan in place and suggested a referral for SEN assessment. Not all schools are that helpful though!