Do you get better at job interviews? I feel like I'm getting worse.

[pinkgrevillea]

It has been a long time since I applied for jobs - about 13 years. I feel like I used to swan in and get them, but since having kids I have worked only for myself.

Kids are now older & I am 49 and feel like if i don't get back to at least part-time office work now I will miss out on building skills and possibly earning more - I'd also really like to have holiday pay and sick leave for a change.

But in those 13 years I have completely forgotten how to speak about myself in a way that sounds convincing.

In my first interview I mentioned my kids and feel like that counted against me.

Yesterday in an interview I didn't mention my kids but felt flustered going in, couldn't seem to collect my thoughts and at one point my necklace just fell off. I could feel them all just watching me in horror like a slow motion car crash.

Don't know what I'm asking for - perhaps some tips on how to perform better?

It is a skill like any other, so you do need to practice.

One thing I like to do is put the JD into ChatGPT with prompts for developing a set of interview questions based on the job description. And then I'll c&p my CV and ask it to come up with possible answers based on the CV. The answers are usually off by a fair margin, but it's a starting point, and then I can refine my answers using STAR method and develop some standard responses I'd like to share based on probable interview questions.

Get a friend or old colleague to run through a practice interview with you. It'll feel a bit stilted and awkward, but that will only help you!

And don't forget that you need to be interviewing them in a way, to decide if you even want the position, so be sure you come up with a few questions of your own to ask them at the end.

STAR method is helpful for practising as is asking chat gpt. I do need to think of it as a skill. And possibly need to do some additional training.... thanks for your comments.

I really think companies need to come up with better ways to appoint employees as the whole interview process is often counterproductive. For both the company and interviewees. I don't have an answer to what the better way would be though.

I have never felt interviews are a true reflection of a person. I have never been unsuccessful in getting a job after interviews but the whole process is just fake and labour intensive for all involved.

Some people who are very good at their jobs are crap at interviews are visa versa.

However, as they still happen as a pp said it is a skill that needs practice. It's uncomfortable selling yourself but it's a necessity. I have followed a couple of people on TikTok who give solid advice on this. It really has helped. Also as mentioned get a friend to do a mock interview. There are dos and do nots and are explained on the TikTok's as I mentioned above.

I'm interviewing for jobs at the moment and I now have the attitude of who cares. I put what I can in and try my best but I'm not hung up on it because it's not a true reflection of me as an employee and il find my fit eventually.

Whether or not mentioning your children counts against you depends on the company as you need to explain why you haven't worked for years.

So you can simply say you had caring responsibilities that you don't have any more. Anyone with a brain will work out you probably cared for your children and/or an elderly relative/friend so you don't need to say in the first instance who you were caring for.

If the interviewer then mentions their own elderly parent and/or children you can then mention you cared for your children plus any other relatives/friends. However always state clearly that your children are now mainly self-sufficient, and also if you cared for anyone else state whether they are deceased/gone into a home. That way you are making clear there are no obstacles in you turning up regularly and doing the job.

If the interview doesn't mention anything like that then you don't mention it.

I've had to mention why I had time out of working, while it isn't as long as yours, some companies had issues with it and others didn't.

Regardless of how well you do in the interview lots of companies are looking for a particular person and it may not be you.

I do have to get past the point of caring. I definitely fall into the crap at interviews/good at job category, mostly because I am applying for part time jobs doing something I have done for years in a self employed capacity.

I've had two interviews which is a start I guess. But I'm surprised at how clinical and almost hostile they are - the panel of people, the questions that seem designed to trip you up. And these are for jobs paying barely above minimum wage, that my CV demonstrates I can do.

I know it’s hard but just remember the people interviewing you are just people. They’ll have hobbies, families, interests and whilst that 30 minute interview is important to you, they’ll be half thinking about their life admin they have to do when they get home from work. You don’t want to work for arseholes, so if they’re arrogant/not friendly, they’re not the kind of people you want to work with. Feel free to break the ice with them beforehand, ask them questions (Do you enjoy working here? Etc). Don’t be afraid to be human, I’ve said in interviews ‘so sorry, I’m not great talking about myself/I can ramble on when I’m nervous’ shows that you’re human, nobody wants to employ a professional bullshitter/interviewer. The amount of interviews I’ve turned into a chat (especially if they’re doing back to back interviews, they’re probably welcome a break too).

A lot of interviews follow a similar structure:

• why are you applying?
• what’s your background/last five years?
• questions that require examples relating to the job.

Think beforehand how you can turn the things you’re nervous about into a positive:

‘Working for yourself’ - I left my position at Tesco due to my then young family. I enjoyed the challenge of starting my own business, growing my client base and I’m proud of what I achieved however I miss working part of a team/focusing on these skills/responsibilities.

Why are you applying for this role:

-I like that this is a small company (more to get your teeth stuck into)/large company - more opportunities to grow/training/believe in the ethos.
-‘I believe I have a lot to offer…’

Deep breath, you’ve got this.

All good points... I do need to get over my nerves. Have just realised I had severe PMT yesterday which always makes me feel like the sky is falling in and somewhat explains my dire performance. Not that I can blame that completely but it does have a massive impact on my mood and always has.