Homestart volunteer

[JLT24]

First time mum to be. My HV has offered me a Homestart volunteer I think it’s once a week for 2-3 hours once my DH returns to work after his six weeks paternity leave. I have a chronic illness that requires a lot of rest, if I over exert myself I end up feeling very unwell (I’ve learnt to rest and pace as much as possible and know this will require a lot of adjustment when baby is here. For example I do every task sitting down to conserve energy. I cook basic meals. I only leave the house for a couple of hours on a weekend when DH can drive us. I don’t do any exercise etc etc).

Just wondering what sort of things I could ask the volunteer to support me with? Apparently you can’t leave the baby with them otherwise I’d ask them to watch the baby whilst I have a nap. And also you can’t ask them to do housework which would save me some energy (we have a cleaner but I still do laundry, cooking and tidying each day plus a few admin tasks). I find chatting exhausting so don’t need someone to come and chat even though it would be nice because I’m going to be on my own 5 days a week when DH is out at work. I’m lost as to what I can ask them to do and don’t want to waste their time!

Had the HV explained what the volunteers can do? I looked at the website and it really wasn’t clear. Would it be worth making a list of what assistance would be helpful and going from there? Although if they don’t do housework or look after the baby I’m a bit lost as to the point. They could go with you to soft play etc I guess, maybe drive you there and back, but if you won’t have the energy that’s pointless!

I guess they hold the baby whilst you do your usual housework
and admin tasks?

I don’t think health visitors take babies out do they, @charitablefund ? Mine just turned up once, did a few checks, and after that it was baby weigh in every few months!

It seems things must have changed since the days I was a Homestart volunteer. I volunteered for 6 years and supported about a dozen families in that time. I often helped with chores or held the baby while mum had a bath/nap whatever. One mum, I used to entertain her 2 year old while she went to the gym. It really helped her mental health. Not sure a volunteer is much help to you if have to be in the same room all the time, but I did have a couple of mums who really just wanted company and emotional support. One liked us to go out in my car to a park etc as she had no transport.

Are you sure those restrictions are in place? Seems a bit odd.

www.home-start.org.uk/pages/faqs/category/how-home-start-helps

It mentions giving you a break so taking an hours nap would come under that

They won’t expect you to have a list of things for them to do, you can come up with a plan together.
Do You have a wheelchair so you could maybe get out for some fresh air together?
They could help you get to an activity/group/the library etc.
They could help you prepare meals to reheat.

Firstly I know because I can’t rest and pace as much as I do currently that my health will decline and I have to accept a certain level of feeling more unwell than I currently do. This was a conscious choice when deciding to have a baby. I will adjust what I do so that I have more energy to give to caring for the baby, I won’t be doing all of the household chores that I do currently for example, my husband will take over them all. I won’t be socialising in the same way. These are just a basic examples but everything that I currently do will need to be adjusted to prioritise the baby’s needs.

Ooh I had a Homestart volunteer in the late 80's
A very well meaning "posh" lady (posh compared to me 😁)
She just offered support and advice, didn't do anything else, she tried to compare my situation (working single parent) to hers (married sahm, rich husband, three DC in private school) she was trying to find common ground.
She was really nice and she did try.
She took me to a Homestart Christmas party and at the end an organiser clapped their hands and said "can all the single parents line up against the wall?"
We duly lined up and they walked down the line, shook hands with each single parent, wished us Happy Christmas and handed us all a box of Family Choice biscuits.
Then we received a round of applause, not sure for what, being a single parent maybe?
It was a humiliating experience, I noped out after that.
I hope they've improved their service, I'm actually surprised they're still going.
Good luck to you though, I really hope your situation improves ❤️

It was my HV who told me they can’t be left alone with the baby or do chores!!

I can do them without being exhausted if I rest and pace appropriately. Too late now baby is due in a few weeks.

Why is there so many deleted comments on a thread about homestart fgs

I’m not sure I didn’t even get a chance to read them! Although I did see a few nasty ones that have disappeared.

My mum used to volunteer with Homestart and her experience was much more like @Candyiris described, very much about responding to the needs of the individual families. I do know that although Homestart is a national organisation, the local branches can be quite varied (bit like with NCT)

The poster that's had their posts deleted has been busy on other threads too, maybe not all the schools have gone back yet?!

I’m thinking it’s not going to be that helpful them doing chores along side me as I can’t do many chores in one go, I have to pace them and spread them across a longer period of time than normal, for example I’ll do about an hour a day of chores but this is spread across 4 x 15 mins chunks. So them being there for 2-3 hours once a week isn’t going to help me to get chores done.

I was a volunteer and helped with chores, I did the washing up on arrival - there was always a mountain of it. I put the kids clothes away, tidied their rooms, changed the beds if needed and even cleaned the carpet. I also brought washing home to do and returned it the following day. I did a couple of runs to the tip too. The person I supported was completely overwhelmed and had multiple young children and I was more than happy to help in any way.