Does this sound like adhd?

[GreenGrass28]

My son is just 9 and tonight he's been upset as he says he's worried he's not making a good impression with his new year 5 teacher.

He says that he can't stop fiddling with things (paper, pencils, anything in his reach) and also gets into trouble for chatting too much. He also says his mind wonders and he stops listening. He says he tries not to, but he can't help it.

Teachers have mentioned concerns about his attention before but it doesn't seem that bad. When I asked why he thinks it's worse now he's moved into year 5, he said he finds the work more boring.

At home we spend about 45 minutes a day doing homework and I have noticed that he will fiddle so remove any distractions from the table. I have also noticed that he jiggles about in his seat or will stand and move about and I have to tell him to sit down and stay still. I need to repeatedly remind him to focus.

He can concentrate really well and for long periods on things like lego or if he’s playing an online game. But he also can just abandon a lego build part way through and then only finish it when we refuse to buy him more until he finishes what he has!

He also has nights where he can't sleep despite being tired and it's usually because his head is full of thoughts racing about. But other nights he konks out quickly, so he does get to stay fairly rested.

Does this sound normal or like he could have an issue with attention?

Why is he doing 45 minutes of homework a night in year 5?

Yes it sounds like it's enough to be worth looking into if you can pay for private testing particularly if it's impacting his confidence.

I would ask to have a chat with the senco at school.

You don’t need to pay to do for a private assessment. Google Right To Choose and you can go down that route if appropriate.

@forensicsnail he has daily maths, spelling and reading for homework. Really should probably take 30 minutes, but getting him to stay focused can be a challenge. Plus we work through any problems eg if he doesn't understand a maths concept, we try and get to a place where he gets it.

I will look into private assessment. I have no idea the cost of it, but I hear waiting for a none private assessment can take a long time which I suppose comes with a different type of cost.

Please don't ask him to keep still, give him a fidget toy that he can't use WHILE doing his homework it will help him focus. Also he may need a movement break say every 15 mins, like ten star jumps for example. If he has energy he needs to use it not shut it away.

I would let him fiddle and have little movement breaks doing his homework. My 9 year old would struggle to sit still and do 3 sets of homework in one go. I would chat to the teacher and see what they have noticed in class and speak to the GP if you both do

Cross posted with @OilLamp

It does sound familiar. We had a private test online just for ADHD. That also involved questionnaires sent to school and home. It was a few hundred pounds.

Don't rely on the school to direct. They scuppered any hope of an Autism assessment for us. They failed to provide any information. My son is quite obviously different, now diagnosed ADHD/Autistic.
You trust your own instincts over what any single professional or school employee says. You'll be waiting a long time on the NHS so I definitely recommend private.

Can you do the reading before bed? That would calm him down perhaps. It sounds like he has had enough of work by that point.

It might be ADHD but I guess it’s only a problem if he’s struggling at school. Lots of kids fidget and chat and can’t concentrate on activities after school when they need downtime.

Does this behaviour online apply when he is doing school work? Would he be the same if he was in a que for a ride?

Is he very impulsive??

What you are describing is very normal behaviour but you are ofocurse concerned. So what I'm thinking is why are you concerned? What is different about your child in year 5? What about his attention is poor, according to the teachers?

Speak to schools senco and your gp.

We've got issues with the school not surporting referal (won't if good scores and attendance).

Adhd is far cheaper than autism to go privately. We have one teacher who will support so we can go this path I think.

But the main thing here there is no way I'd be doing 45mins of homework a day
As an ex teacher on principle!

Read a bit most nights but not so much it becomes something he resents.. Maths and spellings once a week is fine.

Private assessment costs c.£1k. Plus the cost of medication, if you go down that route. It’s a far quicker process though. We were told it was an 18month waiting list and - slightly different situation - my son would have been excluded if we’d waited that long (secondary school). We’re now back in the NHS system for medication but we used a private clinic to get DS seen and the process underway.

Separately, your son sounds like many other boys in my son’s primary class. Fidgeting, chatting, attention wandering, lots of physical energy, distracted. Obviously it’s hard to tell exactly but this all sounds pretty normal behaviour for a 9 yr old boy. Maybe wait a year, or even until the end of primary. My son wouldn’t have been able to do 45 mins homework or anywhere near it at that age, he’d have been getting up and running off into the garden, upstairs, anywhere. Even so, it wasn’t until the transition to secondary school that he really struggled.

And yes encouraging coping techniques like fidget togs and breaks. Schools can implement these without a diagnosis. There's many reasons why a kid might need this not just adhd.

45 mins of homework a day is too much 😩

Thank you for the replies, I do appreciate it. I will look at fidget toys to use during homework and see if that helps.

I have tried to break the homework up into chunks but it's ended up a battle to get him back in the ‘zone’ and taken us even longer! He says he prefers to get it out of the way all in one go anyway, so then he can relax. I will maybe try a burst of energy type break, where he does some star jumps or similar. That hopefully would be quick but a small outlet for him.

I will speak to the SENCO and see what they say. His attention has been flagged in the past, but a ‘wait and see’ approach was taken and then we never heard any more.

Sounds exactly like my 9 yo dd. I think we've forgotten what normal childhood behaviour is. Children fidget, are constantly on the move, and struggle with attention especially when the curriculum is as dry as it is now.

Yea and 45 mins of homework per night is absolutely crazy for yr 5! Mine wouldn't even do. 45 mins per week (not including reading which she enjoys).

45mins a night is more than my year 8 child does for perspective. Is it a private school?

Also yes I do think our move towards super strict and super concentrating at all times and always in order, less PE and running around etc doesn't help!

And never make home a battle for homework either. Make it a safe space.

I think this is where I second-guess myself. I genuinely swing between thinking he's got ‘normal’ levels of boy energy to wondering if he has attention issues.

I will try and work on the homework. It's hard because it’s an expectation of the school. But I will try mini breaks and fidget toys.

Thanks again for the responses. Lots to think about and I will chat with school and gr their views.

I suggest you look into sensory integration. My daughter had a diagnosis of adhd but we found sensory interventions much more helpful. You can do lots yourself - there are books you can get like the Out of Synch Child. This all comes under Occupational Therapy. You could ask school for an assessment but you are unlikely to get it. You could of course go private.

Adhd diagnosis is useful if you want to try meds, but they can cause other problems like appetite suppression.

Yeah maybe don't even call it a break just say now it's time to do 10 star jumps and then back to work. If you have a breakfast bar or high table maybe he could even do his homework standing up or doing some steps on the spot.