How do you respond to personal questions you don't want to answer?

[sparklytoes6]

I may be strange to some people but I feel really uncomfortable when people ask questions about my personal life. It's fine to ask about my job, if I have siblings, where I live etc but there are some questions I find difficult.

For example when people at work ask me who I live with, how I met my partner, and then questions about said partner. I don't like being asked questions about my dating life. Is that odd? I know some people tell everyone their life story but I would rather not!

Not strange at all. You're entitled to a private life.

You could change the subject. You don't have to answer questions just because they're asked.

I wouldn't consider them abnormal questions, but I also wouldn't be fussed if someone didn't fancy sharing about themselves!

Everyone has different boundaries on what they're happy to share, you just have yours 😊 I'd just redirect the question if I didn't fancy answering!

"It's a bit complicated" gets you out of a lot. Then you immediately ask them a question before they can probe further.

Short, factual, blunt answers. Comes over as rude, seems to be the only way to stop the questions coming. Personally I think they are the rude ones for asking.

First, I don't share stuff at work. Holiday destinations, OK, but not much else.

A good reply to shut people down: "that's a really long story" and usually doesn't invite follow-up probing. If it does, just say "well, like I said..."

Or, one I use quite frequently:
"The less said about that the better"...

You could try a fairly obtuse phrase like "oh I won't go into it" , said in a fairly friendly but off hand way, and then change the subject.

I tend to "flip" questions by giving short but honest answers and then asking the questioner something back.

For example:

Q: How did you meet your partner?

A: We met a few years ago at a bar. How about you and your partner? Have you been together long?

At a training course we were told to say, that’s an interesting question, why do you ask!

Ooh I like this!

What do you do though when they explain why they were asking? Like "oh, I was just curious" or whatever?

I heard if someone is asking reeeeally personal questions that are obviously too far then you could respond "I'm surprised you feel comfortable asking me that"!

I'm like you and do not like getting overly personal at work. For basically harmless questions like 'what does your partner do?', I answer briefly and redirect:

'He's a teacher, oh by the way I was meant to ask, did you see that email from Carly?'

For questions that kind of push the boundaries of appropriateness, but are generally meant well, like 'Ohhh Carly's pregnant! Do you have any plans for having kids?', I don't answer and (kindly) push back:

'Ha! That's a bit personal for a Wednesday lunchtime!'

For questions that are just rude/not kindly meant/are brazenly inappropriate, I use my favourite line ever:

'That's a really interesting thought to have out loud'.

“This feels like an interrogation” or “why are you so inquisitive” then either deflect to another subject or get up and leave.

'That's a really interesting thought to have out loud'. Filed for future use @BeADinosaur !

How about ' just been looking at cyber training awareness and they advised to never disclose personal information! So no can do!

We can talk about work though or the weather.

'That's a really interesting thought to have out loud'.

Love this! @BeADinosaur !

I love this. Unfortunately the sort of person who asks questions that warrant that answer is the sort who won’t understand.

I had some of my pet awkward questions at the weekend and the people asking didn’t pick up on any discomfort. I tried “long story” and they wanted to hear it!

I tried “long story” and they wanted to hear it!

😅

William Hanson ( etiquette guru) “ that’s a really interesting question and I’d love to talk about it when we know each other better”

ps yes I am addicted to his reels.

These are good suggestions to move on and change the subject. But for the record, asking generic questions about your partner is not weird or intrusive as a rule.

I have sometimes said 'I'm saving all the details for my autobiography' and then changed the subject.

Met in a past life ... go on some truly elaborate description of how you were wolves in a pack in one life, forbidden lovers from feuding families in another ... make sure to tell the most gossipy person first.

Or what @BeADinosaur said.

I disagree unless you've got to know someone a fair bit. I wouldn't ask these questions at work, what if someone was just going through divorce or something.

Have you tried, looking surprised and whispering "You can see him too?"

I would never ask someone about their dating life, but generic questions about someone's partner are surely very normal.

“That’s none of your never mind” has confused several people who’ve asked me personal questions and insulted others.
Still, I say it - and smile - and move on with the conversation.
lol they’re insulted.