School mum chat

[Brisketbisxuit]

I enjoy being around people but I feel a bit hopeless socially. What do you chat to other parents about once you’re done with the inevitable small talk around weather, weekend plans, holidays, what the kids are up to at school, work etc . How do you develop conversations beyond that? What other topics do you talk about? I see mums talking for ages at the playground and often wonder what things they could be chatting about. Would love some ideas. I know this is really lame but I’m not great socially and I feel like I can learn to be better but I just don’t know what to talk about!

A lot of the Mum's are probably friends or they've had a few kids and been meeting up at the school gates for 10 years. It takes time to find your group.

People love to talk about themselves, I don't do school drops offs now but would maybe ask if they've been watching anything good on TV, where did they buy little Jaydens school shoes, etc.

Building work is a very popular topic with the parents I know!

Do you actually want to talk to them? I never did so tended to stand away to the side.

I’m also interested in the answer to this question. I have a friend who somehow manages to get into quite deep topics…I do not! At the gate for me I usually just say hi, but birthday parties need more

I think you're going about it the wrong way round. You need to develop the friendships first.

I have parents I happily chat to on the school run but they're friends. The friendships have developed either from nursery/ baby groups or because our children are friends at school. Shared activities too.

At my childrens prep schools it was all about teaching provision/ academic progress/ reading levels/ who was in top group and then bitching about who had been a nutter on the class whatsapp

Oh and sports teams- who was on the hockey team and who wasn’t and who shouldn’t have been. All very jolly 🙈

These things have to develop naturally, really. I don't have any specific topics I focus on.

If I know one mum's child does piano lessons, I might ask how that's going as my DS is having a go at violin. That's an opening. If I know another mum is moving house, I might ask about that and chitter chatter about it. Comment on any plans for Halloween/Christmas, etc.

The more you chat to people, the more you get to know them. I've made a few nice friends who I get coffee with from the school run, but it didn't happen overnight.

I always want to know what people have been reading so try to strike up a conversation about that or what they're watching on TV, films etc? What they like doing in their spare time? Basically I just try to find common ground.

I'll chat about work with some of the parents I know better. There are a few of us in similar roles/industries so will often have a chat.

Maybe talk about something that's coming up at the school or in your lo's class, like a project they're working on, spelling test, homework anything the kids might have in common, ask if they have any other kids at the school, ask how their child is getting on in the new class etc

I tend to go with asking if they've had a good day. Covers all bases and works as a good conversation starter if the other person is amenable.

Thank you everyone. These are really helpful. Keep them coming. I do talk about these types of things and I think I sometimes wonder if I’m really boring and other people are having much more exciting chats but it doesn’t seem like it. That’s obviously my own lack of confidence in these situations speaking.

When I'm chatting to other mums, it's mainly about the kids, how they're getting on, activities, where there are good Halloween costumes, homework, volunteering, stuff like that. I can have a good long chat based on that stuff but it doesn't go any deeper than that really. Once you get to know a bit about their lives there's a bit more to chat about. But I'm not going to tell them anything too personal or give strong opinions on anything. The point of those friendships centres around the kids, it's not the same as other friendships.