"How are you?"

[CandidFruit]

What's your automatic response when you are asked that?
Do you just default into replying "Fine thanks!" or do you really say how you are feeling?
(I suppose a lot depends on who is asking really...)

I generally try and be positive because I know people prefer positivity, so I say something like "I'm really well thanks!".
However, if I've had a particularly stressful time or something, I'll be honest and say "Oh I'm OK but I've had a nightmare of a morning" or something. Sometimes it's just nice to have chat if I'm a bit stressed.

Very few people who ask this actually care about the answer.

I say 'I'm fine thanks how are you' even if I am very much not fine

Not bad thanks, same old same old
How about you

It's the English way of saying hello. Nobody wants to hear that you're not OK when they ask this. See also "alright?" and "how's tricks?"

If it's a passing acquaintance on the street: 'Good, and you?'

If it's a friend, but I'm not in the humour for talking about whatever minor horrors are actually going on, mildly sarcastic expression and 'Never better! You?'

If it's a close friend, I feel like talking and being truthful, and we have the time, inclination and a bottle of wine: 'Dire. Interrupt me if this gets too glum and self-involved --'

If it's someone I don't know very well: "Not too bad, thanks! Yourself?"

A friend and I'll be honest but cheery, unless something shit is going on. "Bloody rushed off my feet this week! Not too bad otherwise though, how about you?"

It's just a very British way of saying hello, I think. Norwegian DH struggled with this, and when he's taken off guard I can still see his face twitch.

It's kind of weird because people just say it as a greeting and don't expect a real answer. I always say Ah I'm grand, thanks. Even when I go to see my gp about my mh problems or even the psychiatrist, they say hi, how are you, I say Grand thanks then we sit down and they so, how have you been and I say Terrible, I've been having trouble with blah blah etc.

Haha yes! I had a homebirth with DS1, and I'll always remember the midwife turning up as I was on all fours recovering between contractions:

"How are we doing?"

"Good, thanks!"

"Can't complain."