Have you retired while most people you know are still working.

[Overcover]

I'm 55 next year.

I'm single and have worked really hard all my life in jobs I've mostly enjoyed, been good at, have paid well and given me a certain level of status.

I have a good standard of living but a simple "core" lifestyle. I.e. I do have holidays and meals etc out but my necessary costs are low.

DC are adults and I have some money put by to help them with house deposits if that's what I decide to do.

I have some good pensions and savings. Financially I could retire next year, and I'm finding I don't enjoy work these days. I changed my job and now work PT, but that hasn't helped, if anything I feel even less engaged. I also have some hobbies/projects I'd like to develop while I'm still young and fit.

So I'm thinking about retirement, but no friends my age will be thinking about that for at least 5 years. I'm not worried about company, I'll be absolutely fine filling my time while friends are at work, but I wonder if it will change relationships - "it's OK for those who don't need to work" bitterness. A bit like a lottery win might?

I can afford to retire now though but I’m continuing to build up my pension because I love my job. If the budget means that it becomes non-financially viable to top up my pension I will review my retirement plans.

If I won enough money to be able to do things like play with some investments or set up some form of trust for donations, that would become my work and I would give up my job. But this would just be me replacing one form of mental stimulation with another

It’s a good question, if I came into that sort of money I’d resign, albeit sadly. The answer is, I enjoy my job enough and absolutely the money that comes with it, and also what that does for my pension pot, that I’ve no desire to retire at this age without a significant lottery win.

The truth is the people who i know who do, are also happy but they spend a shit load of time watching tv and other mundane crap, and I’ve no desire for that yet. People always say I’m going to do so much but in my anecdotal experience much if if is sofa surfing and gardening. No thanks. Not yet.

my adult child said a lot of peoples brains become less active when they retire, and I’m not there yet, and I think that’s true, staying mentally active in a workplace I think has many advantages. I will get there, but I’m not there yet.

i feel sad for rhe op, that she is friends with people who are bitter and envious. When my friend retired early I said that’s great, it was, as it’s what she wanted, but god, I don’t envy her, when I hit the stage I do want to retire. I will. But no it’s not for me, not yet. I worked hard to get where I am, I’m not ready to let it go yet, and yes the money is a huge advantage. I don’t live frugally nor do I desire to.

I'm the same , most friends are still working but I've never encountered bitterness , most say they would retire if they could afford to .

I sold my business in 2019 ( I was 55). I agreed to stay on for two years working 2.5 days a week, so 50% reduction in hours. With the money we made from the sale we were able to pay everything off and enjoy the same standard of living until last year when I took my pension. I now work one day a week ( I have a core group of patients who were happy to pay privately if I stayed on). I now earn the same working privately ( dentist) and with my NHS pension we are able to maintain our standard of living, although health problems mean that we really don’t need the extra money going forward. .

DS is at uni so I work to fund him and will probably give up when he graduates. DH has a small draw down pension and in 4 yrs will get his state pension. I’m a few years behind him. But it we make it to our 70s we will be financially very comfortable.

At times it would have been helpful to have the extra cash rather than contributing to a pension, but now I’m 60 I am so glad that I paid into it.

Life can change so quickly and being able to cut down drastically without reducing your income makes a stressful time so much easier to deal with.

I do commit to extra hours when needed so if I need a bit of extra cash it’s easy to fund a project.

I do get a lot of “comments” but those who know what we’ve been through ( me-cancer and DH -stroke) are really supportive of our choice. And as one friend always says “ you’ve worked bloody hard to get to this point.

I started work at 22 and went into semi retirement at 55 so have worked for 33yrs full time with 6mnths maternity leave and almost zero sick leave.

I am now working on trying to get back to full fitness and enjoy the next 10-20yrs, hopefully.

A bit different situation but two of our best friends have retired in their early 50s and both couples have moved away to a cheaper area with more sunshine. No jealousy at all, we're happy for them. But, both couples are going to be very lucky to live to their 80s the way they are hammering the alcohol! A lot of fun for a weekend, but I'm always happy to be getting back to real life at the end.

I retired at 50, back in the days when you could access pension at 50. Lots of my family have died at 58, my reasoning behind it.

I was bored to tears, my friends still worked and I do very little with my husband.

I got a part time job but it gave me freedom. My fifties weren't enjoyable, I had several serious illnesses.

I'm now late sixties, my health is much improved, I still work one day a week and I'm very much enjoying life.

I'm a bit older than you and retired last year.

I have a few friends who have already retired but they are older than me. Friends my own age and a couple a little bit older are still working .

The only comments I get to my face are that they are happy for me that I've been able to go early. I have a decent work place pension and both DH and I have inherited from our parents.

DH and I go away quite frequently and I normally meet up with a friend or friends at least once each week - so either on a Saturday, an evening or lunch time if it's a friend who's not working or PT/on shifts. I do tend to be the one who organises the meet ups (aside from with my one best friend) but that has always been my way.

I would wonder in your position whether you would miss the company of people in your workplace ? And it's worth considering whether friendships that are based around your workplace will continue if you leave. But perhaps the hobbies and other things you want to do once retired will fill that gap - in which case - go for it !

Yep, exactly this. If they are that bitter and don't want to be friends with you anymore do you really care if you don't remain friends? I plan to stop working before I'm 45 and it looks like a real possibility. If other people resent that fuck em, it's my life.

I retired a couple of years ago at 56 and are loving it.
OH still works 2-days a week but being 3yrs younger than me doesn't mind. Intends stopping completely when I am 60.

No-one has ever said anything or given vibes that lead me to think they resent me finishing a decade before they can (although most are likely to retire well before their mid-60's).
Usually the comments are along the lines of "lucky so & so" or "which I could do that". People seem to be genuinely happy that someone has got out of the ratrace.

I would have thought they'd already have been joking for years about you being a "part timer" if they were going to do that, since to many people part time is also something to be resentful of.

If they're good friends they'll be happy for you.

To add - actually a lot of the friends who are still working are younger than me by a couple of years.

Honestly, I’d do it (I mean I haven’t, I’m 57 and love my job, no intention of retiring any time soon) but in your position. I have started a couple of voluntary roles recently and started making friends with retired people probably mostly in their 60s/70s and they are out there doing so much good with great social lives, there is a whole world of things going on that you don’t get time for in full time work (I’m PT).

Yes, I did. But then I spent my entire career in pensions and made damn sure mine was sufficient to allow me to retire early.

That's not OPs problem.

Yes, but other people's reactions or feelings aren't actually her problem and she needs to realise that.

Nope, they are not her problem. If they really are her friends they'll support her doing what's right for her, and possibly admit they're a tad jealous (but not in a nasty way).

In the situation that you are in, I might consider retirement IF I knew that I really would get into those projects.

It's really easy if you aren't working to get really stuck on small things, and the projects still never get done. If you are currently working three days a week, then you really should be already able to make some headway with them. Is this really going to improve if you give up work?

Also, if you are spending all your time doing projects, the project sometimes becomes work. If you have work elsewhere that you have to do, it can keep the shine on the projects.

No, it's their problem if they cannot be happy for a supposed friend.

You should do whatever you want to do, and not worry about what others think or say.

The only thing I think is worth considering is that you could live another 30 years or more. That is a very long time to not be working. And working isn’t just about earning money. My mum retired the second that she could, at 59. She has hobbies and friends, some of whom retired around the same age. I have watched her world narrow after retirement: she is now less engaged, and has become oddly anxious about weird, pointless, things - I think because she has no proper focus. She is also using her brain a lot less (she was previously in a very senior role) and sadly it shows.

My dad on the other hand still works, albeit in a very part time capacity, at the age of 78. He has shown none of the decline my mother has.

I have seen this trend in their friends too, so I don’t think it’s specifically them. I think it is a result of not seeing people you would otherwise not meet, and keeping your brain ticking over in a way that only a job can. It has made my DH and I decide to keep working, albeit much less after 55/60, for as long as we can.

It's a bit different as I started a small business which brings in enough money to.live on. Half of it is passive income, so I work.maybe 16-20 hours a week. However, I stopped my actual career at 53 and have a lot more free time than most of my friends.

When they talk about work now (most are in the same industry I was).I cannot comprehend where their drive comes from. I've become pretty lazy ( but I think that was inherent)

I miss aspects of work. The social aspect but mostly the status of being an expert. I have shared this with my friends, so I guess that mitigates any resentment. You cold also share that you have stoped enjoying work..