Would you like to be cleverer?

[TheGreatIndoors]

Hello

I watch The Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon and muse about whether my life would be better if I were super-clever.

Imagine being able to really and truly understand complex subjects eg physics and philosophy. Being inside your own head would be really interesting!

But your life is frustrating because most people don't understand you or your ideas or just talk crap basically, as far as you are concerned.

I suppose it must be like me living my life surrounded my monkeys rather than other humans. Presumably you would have to actively seek out a small pool of other super-intelligent humans. (Your colleagues at NASA or whatever)

In the programme of course life is harder for Sheldon as he has social difficulties.

Would you like to be cleverer?

Is there anyone who wishes they were LESS clever?!

Sometimes they say that ignorance is bliss after all! Maybe OVERthinking about concepts like the meaning of life/the universe makes one miserable?!

I'm very academically clever, with an excellent memory and very good logic/problem solving skills.

Emotional intelligence isn't bad either and I can see through bullshit from miles away.

However, I have absolutely no artistic or creative skills at all. I'm tone deaf, and I suspect I have some form of colour blindness.

I would absolutely love to be able to sing, to have a greater ability to style my wardrobe or decorate my house. I'm useless at doing my hair, make up (eyeliner kills me!). Sci-fi or fantasty films baffle me.

I live in the theatre, at concerts, art galleries as I love it. I think my hairdresser and beautician are two of the most talented people I know. It's a completely different form of intelligence and I'm intrigued by and envious of it.

In summary, I would love to be more balanced.

I would like a better memory for names and ability to pick up languages.
As it is I'm intelligent enough to pick concepts up easily and be really interested and curious about a wide range of things, people think I know a lot - I don't, I just know a bit about a lot of different things, a jack of all trades, so I usually have something to add which gives the impression.
I'm pretty good at most things (diy, physical sports, relationships, social stuff, admin, academic work, art , cooking etc etc) but not really great at anything, so there is always someone in the room who is better than me at whatever, but I'm in the top 50% across the board iyswim. Which often makes me feel like human beige, what's my niche, it's a bit identity-less, but also I'm scraping through life aok?!

Iwish I could retain information better, dh and ds can read about something and remember it whereas I read same thing and have forgotten about it within an hour.

I don't know about being more clever, but I wish I was less of a pedant, then this thread might not be making my teeth itch.

I’m pretty clever, I think. I chose a profession that was more socially useful than financially lucrative, so lots of people under-estimate me. That can be fun.

As someone who proofreads a lot in their job I am an utter pedant. I can spend ages searching for the 'correct' way of spelling something. But I am also open to the idea that I may be wrong.

Anyway, I've finally found this page which suggests that 'cleverer' may be acceptable.

dictionary.cambridge.org/grammar/british-grammar/comparison-adjectives-bigger-biggest-more-interesting#

I am clever in a niche academic way. I like that and don't want to be more clever in that department. I would like to be cleverer at organization skills, multi-tasking and generally feel less bewildered by how to sort things out. I can do it, but it's not my expertise. I'd also like to be cleverer at the politics of life, I'm pretty socially skilled and have a lot of friends, but I struggle to see the motivations of others or network strategically, and have been taken advantage of occasionally at work.

As for creative and artistic skills, I believe I have these a bit but never the time or energy to play with these, something for retirement?

Sports and kinetic intelligence, absolutely none. Always last to be picked for sports teams at school.

I don't think I would ever call myself clever. It seems like a strange concept to me. I think we're brought up to think of 'clever' in very narrow terms in which we prize some skills and abilities over others, but much of that is shaped by our culture and very specific forms of measurement. I don't think it's something I aspire to.

I think I am more interested in whether someone is wise, thoughtful and imaginative. Are they an expansive thinker? Are they able to make new connections between seemingly disparate things? Are they able to sit and listen open-heartedly with someone that is going through a difficult time without trying to fix them? Are they able to process and work with their own emotions and experiences?

Are they aware of their own worldview and those of others? Are they able to look at the world through multiple lenses and at different levels of scale, across different cultures and disciplines? Do they hold an awareness of their own mortality and use that to inform their decisions in life? Are they on friendly terms with themselves?

Are they able to think critically about the information they consume? Do they read and learn widely across different points of view? Do they think reflexively and have tools to reflect on life usefully? Are they able to truly integrate their learning in a way that shapes their behaviour and actions in the world? Have they examined their own values and do they live in integrity with these?

Are they able to balance their own needs with those of others? Do they have good habits? Can they connect the personal with the transpersonal, thinking beyond the individual to wider patterns and contexts? Are they a symbolic thinker? Do they think systemically, in terms of relationships and connections?

Are they content in their own skin? Are they in touch with their senses, bodily awareness and the present moment? Do they see what needs to be done and do it? Do they have intellectual humility? Do they take time to really understand the views of others? Are they skilled in dialogue as well as debate?

To me all of these are forms of intelligence that I don't see captured within narrow forms of the word 'clever'. Seeing people on these thread calling other people 'stupid' seems anathema to real intelligence to me.

I’m an A* student, in Mensa, people have referred to me as the cleverest person they know.

I have friends of varying intelligence. DH is probably of average intelligence but is way more practical than I am.

I don’t really recognise any of the issues you mention in your OP, but a lot of my identify is tied up with being the “clever” one and it is exhausting and stressful to have the constant internal pressure to be perfect and to know ‘everything’.

I wouldn’t change anything though.

Really interesting thread.
I know at least four people who would consider themselves very intelligent and have disdain for others, who they think are not as intelligent as them. As I’ve got to know them over the years I’ve realised that their intelligence is very mediocre and in many ways is actually substandard. Someone I know talks about his colleagues with absolute contempt for their stupidity, but he confidently spoke to me about a current affair once and I was shocked at his ignorance to the facts. I’m sure he walked off completely unaware of all the nonsense that he had just spouted and obviously thought I wouldn’t know any different.
I’ve also been spoken down to by a couple of people who didn’t realise I have a degree in a certain subject and knew far more than them.
I’ve concluded in my old age that a lot of people find it far too easy to assume that everyone else is less intelligent than them and in my experience it’s rarely true. I think it often shows a lack of intelligence actually, to underestimate everyone else to such a degree.
Saying that, of course people who have degrees at Oxbridge, who do their A levels when they’re 11 years old and who have concrete evidence of their high intelligence are above most people in the intelligence stakes. I’m just much more wary nowadays of people who regard themselves as more clever than others. I wish I had this wisdom when I was younger, when I thought that everyone who had a posh accent or spoke of themselves highly were more clever than I was.

Anyway! In answer to your question I would absolutely love to be able to retain information more easily, my memory is shocking. And more focus as well please!

I’d been lauded as clever since basically birth. I was reading books by myself at 2, chapter books before I started school. I used to come out with quips that outsmarted the adults. Glowing school reports every term.
When I was in high school and knew I was “intelligent” - I sort of felt I had to play up to that by being (my idea of) academic and quoting Shakespeare, being a SPAG pedant, reading novels in German, etc. Imagine Rory/Paris from Gilmore Girls and you get the picture. Felt so smug and superior. Sailed into studying law at a good university. Then it all fell apart as my undiagnosed ADHD, depression and anxiety came to the fore and I dropped out after two years. Cue spending the rest of my life handwringing about my unfulfilled potential.

I’m now a hairdresser and I love it. I still watch Only Connect, do cryptic crosswords every day, go to see operas, learn German, and once won thousands of pounds on a TV quiz show. But I’m so glad I’m not a lawyer.

@EngineEngineNumber9 it's very clever to know when to reset your life and what will fulfil you.

I don't enjoy being around pompous or show-offy intellectuals, which I am quite a bit because they are rarely the best ones anyway.

I wish I could forget information. I retain everything. Useless things. No importance. They don’t help me in day to day life. I even remember stupid things like where I sat in every film I’ve ever watched in a cinema and who I was there with. I’m almost always able to name the years films came out because of that. It makes me say things like “oh I’ve only sat in screen 5 three times before”. Useless and weird. I never forget a face or name either and so I smile at people I met when I was 11 and they have no idea who I am. If I could relive my life, I’d have been good in a history application I think.

I also have a friend who says things like “you do realise” at the start of every conversation who got very upset with me when I scored more on our theory tests. She does think she is very clever - and she is. But I think curiosity is the thing that drives a lot of what people consider cleverness. I’m always thinking of the things I know that I don’t know and trying to learn them. But what for? It’ll be more useless and inapplicable knowledge.

Some people really are very unintelligent to the point of being dangerous and careless, so there are definitely some measurables.

@SisterAgatha I think that retaining and gathering knowledge about seemingly useless things is more useful than you think. All of that can sort of be rejigged in your head and without realising, it has taught you something useful about life, humanity or yourself. I don’t know if I’m explaining this very well! But I feel that the more knowledge you have about a broad range of things, you understand the world as a whole better.

I lived overseas from ages 5-8 and I feel that really broadened my horizons hugely and made my brain so much better than it would have been if I’d lived in Scotland for my whole childhood. But not in a factual, tangible way. Just general outlook.

The other thing to realise is that not everyone needs to be good at every type of intelligence. @SisterAgatha I love working with people like you as I am the opposite, forget where, when and who I did things with, to the point they can get offended. Tend to live in the moment, poor historical memory. I seek out people to complement my deficits- so people with good memories, organizational skills, and emotionally intuitive people who 'get' the politics of different situations.

It's a mistake to think one person is going to be clever in every single way. I know my strengths, I have lots of weaknesses, it's great if you find someone to complement that.

No, I’m pretty clever and happy enough with it.

If I could choose anything to be more of it would be patient. Or I guess clever in terms of knowing how to make the world work for me a bit more would also be good. Be like those people who understand investments and the like and can make money in their sleep, that would be nice.

But mostly I'd really like the patience. I'm exasperated almost every day, usually by other people, and it's my worst trait. Have worked and worked on changing it but it's like my default setting. Think I'd be a lot happier if I cared less/had lower standards and more patience.

My late friend and his daughter are mega clever and yes I do wish I was much more academic ( although it's too late now to do A levels or a degree and before anyone says ' it's never too late ' I do feel it is for me , I even struggle to do anything with computers beyond the real basics )
I was pretty good at English and literature at school , but never got beyond O levels
Useless at maths ( I hate how bad I am ) and did try night school , passed the entry level maths , but found it tricky to take in.
Just wished I had a big brain !

I'm academically very clever, good at problem solving etc. However, I don't seem to be able to "get" people; apart from DH I have never had good friends, only acquaintances. I also find "work" boring and restrictive, both in terms of time and brain space, so I've only had moderately successful jobs. My mother has always said I've have got on better if I'd been less intelligent and she may be correct.

This is too relatable 😮