New possible therapist attraction

[StrugglingGrief]

I’m seeking a new particular type of therapy. I had a brief call with a potential this morning, I’m very interested in the type of therapy but I don’t think I can go to him. There was an initial difficulty in getting our words out, then I think there was possibly a little attraction there. He seemed ‘surprised’ when he saw me. I’m just not sure. What do you think?

What do you mean he seemed surprised?
People can be surprised for all sorts of reasons and display surprise in different ways. Why does your mind jump straight to " attraction".
If he is a bone fide therapist he should be acting in a professional way and showing he is attracted to clients and potential client isn't professional.

Perhaps it’s questionable why I thought attraction. It was just the way he looked at me nothing he said and he was nervous. Perhaps he wasn’t attracted to me I just wanted him to be?

I don't know if your user name is connected with the reason you are having therapy OP.
And I obviously don't know if the attraction that you thought you felt between you is real or not.
But I do think that if you are having therapy and you are very vulnerable ATM it may be possible you are picking up on something that wasn't there.
I also think if that was what you took from your initial meeting with the therapist you would probably be better finding another therapist. One who you can concentrate on the reasons you are going to therapy for.
You don't want to detract from the therapy by introducing a set of complications that will not be helpful to the therapy. Especially if you are already vulnerable.

It's not uncommon to feel attraction to a therapist, it's called projection. Personally, I wouldn't like it and would feel like it might hinder progress, especially if you're feeling it from one meeting. It's a bit different if it manifests as treatment progresses - you can discuss it as part of your therapy.

Yes - grief is one thing it’s long term complicated grief from my dad’s death at a young age and then a suicide from another family member but these were years ago.

But you’re right it’s better I don’t have a male. I don’t know what’s wrong with me it’s so frustrating, I have had a male therapist before and didn’t have this feeling about them at all.

Do not see a therapist you feel attracted to. This is called transference and can leave you feeling worse than when you started therapy. I found this out the hard way!