Is this a reasonable adjustment or do I need to get a drs letter for packed lunch issues ?

[packedlunchproblems]

Ds has ASD (and possibly ARFID) . Only eats certain foods and lunch every day for years has been sugar free squash, a banana, a pack of mini breadsticks, a babybel and a big petit filous pot. School have changed the rules this year and now say only water or milk. Do I say it’s a reasonable adjustment and keep sending the squash or will it require a drs letter to allow him to continue to have this as it’s the only thing he drinks

Because one day the squash may not be available or he may travel or he may lose the carton and it may one day just be a tiny bit handy if there was an alternative.
I don't know if it is possible as I said. I am not overly invested, I just didn't know much about the condition initially and I was wondering if it was possible to get help for it.

So you're sending in a Fruit Shoot or similar?

I can 100% see why the school are objecting.

You definitely need to work on getting him to use a different receptacle. That's a happy middle ground with the school?

Neurotypical people who don't know anything about the subject pushing their neurotypical 'solutions' at neurodiverse people isn't very helpful.

If they really won't back down on the squash, it may be an idea to get him an Airup bottle, so it's just water but with the weird smell bit that makes it taste a certain way.

@CluelessAboutBiology How do you manage your condition as an adult? I'm asking because a friend's son has recently been diagnosed (he's 12) and she's wondering how he'll manage it long term.

I know a child that’s drunk nothing but blackcurrant fruit shoots for nearly ten years. Some children will die of dehydration before they drink water and a chat with a GP won’t change that.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-59688396.amp

Here is some info. If you haven't heard of ARFID please read it before contributing?

My older DS does not have ARFID but does have sensory issues relating to food. We were under a paediatric dietician for a long while. She pointed out that if she tried to make me eat a worm sandwich I would not physically be able to do it. And that is how children with food issues view what we consider to be normal food. ARFID is very much more extreme than that, and it is beyond the child's control.

I wasn't pushing a solution other than a suggestion to speak to a medical professional. If that is "pushing a solution" then frankly I fear for the future of constructive debate.

So many people on this thread are downright unpleasant about helping someone to understand more about a condition and just seem to trade in nasty little snide comments that don't really help anyone.

Another actually helpful poster explained that GPs don't know much about the condition which I'm not sure how I am expected to know that. This OP was posted in the "chat" forum not a specialist forum so presumably that means other people can contribute and "chat" and discuss. I've been educated and learned something which was helpful (not from you though)

It is also quite rude to make assumptions about me. I have ADHD so not actually the NT bucket you wanted to put me into.

@BruFord Bland, beige and boring is perfect for me. No strong flavours.

Unsurprisingly, I don’t eat out very often! If I do, I go to places like Wetherspoons (they’re nice around here), Toby Carvery & Harvester where they do “basic” food. I’m certainly never going to The Ivy!

When I go out with a particular group of friends, we always go to a Harvester. One time, I was getting a drink and by the time I got back to the table, the waitress had taken the orders. “Don’t worry, we’ve ordered for” they said, knowing that I always have the same thing!

i always offer to arrange the work Xmas dinner so that I can check the menus and book whichever venue has a menu I can eat.

I hate been invited to people’s houses for a meal as I’m anxious about what they’ll serve and whether or not I can eat it. I know most people will eat a meal they don’t particularly like just to be polite, but I can’t. I would rather go hungry. I don’t want to be rude if someone’s been kind enough to invite me for a meal so I usually tell them that they really don’t want to cook for me and try to turn it into visiting them without eating.

Some people with ARFID are very underweight, but I’m the opposite. Many of my safe foods are high in sugar.

Thanks, @CluelessAboutBiology . The diagnosis has been a relief for her as now they have a reason for his eating habits. He's deficient in some vitamins and minerals so they're trying to address that with supplements. She's aware that he'll need to manage the condition himself as he gets older though, you've clearly found some good strategies to manage social situations.

FFS, as if squash isn't water with a bit of cordial in it!

The water content isn't nulled by the presence of a bit of Ribena, hun!

I’ve never seen ready made squash in a carton.. why doesn’t OP just say it’s Ribena / fruit shoot or whatever?

Show him the whole process of opening up the fruit shoot (or whatever) and pouring a bit into the empty bottle, when he is calm and without reference to school lunch at first. Let him check the bottle first to make sure it's empty.

It should be fine as a reasonable adjustment with the senco's say-so. Have a look at their SEN policy, which they have to publish on their website, which will probably say something about reasonable adjustments for health needs. I would try to get their blessing upfront so he won't get told off if "caught". That would put him off drinking in future even if it's sanctioned afterwards.

im pretty sure we had squash! In those weird metal jugs.

We had squash but we also didn’t have seatbelts in the rear of the car so…

Because who cares? Seriously people’s need to nit pick the details and derail the thread with pointless questions baffles me!

and yes you can get squash in cartons not just fruit shoots and Ribena 🙄

My child is the same, school allow him to have juice but I went extreme at the beginning and kept keeping him home quite often because he became unwell dehydrated and rundown because they wouldn’t allow things he would eat and drink. I compromised with a bottle which wasn’t see through so the other kids didn’t know x

Why didn’t you just bring him home for lunch then?

Why don’t you read it properly. He was unwell and dehydrated. Im not sending my child in unwell, rundown and dehydrated after he ended up poorly because of all of this and had to be resuscitated so maybe next time you should mind your own business if youve got nothing nice to say.

Just to add to this, and I say this as a parent to a child diagnosed with ARFID (and I almost certainly would also have been diagnosed with it if I was a child today), many health care professionals don’t know much or enough about it.

You might think that dieticians would be well informed but usually they will pass you on to CAMHS, GOSH or Evelyn’s as they are the main eating disorder clinics in England who do deal with it. They are then very difficult to get appointments with and often won’t diagnose as the child usually needs to be in crisis (eg tube fed) which most parents do everything possible to avoid even if does mean going to McDonald’s 21 times a week.

It’s not just you who knows very little about the condition. Even within the medical profession who deal with diets and eating disorders it seems quite niche.

It’s not squash then, squash has to be diluted. HTH