I have always struggled a bit with food. From about the age of 9 I was very aware of my size (very thin as a child and teen and now after two kids more average size around a 10) I used to read my mums magazines with the diet tips and I used to restrict and then go on too binge food, I would exercise but I kept it all in secret. I LOVED being thin and it was and partly is still a big part of my identity even if that is wrong.
I am just over 30 now and up until I was about 19 I wouldn’t buy “crap” as it’s just not something I was allowed, obviously when I moved out and had my freedom I did begin buying treats and now my treats are every day - multiple times. I’m lucky I’ve not tripled in size although I am trying to lose a bit now and finding it hard.
I have a real complex with my 3 year old. As soon as they began weaning I hated it, I just saw greed, I did overcome that, but now I struggle with amounts, am I giving them too much/ too little/ too many snacks/ am I making it a big thing/ am I being normal….
At the moment my 3 year old is fine weight wise, but they do tantrum for snacks. I allow snacks but no unlimited. Snacks can be fruit/ crackers/ oat bars/ kids veggie crispy thing… basically the Aldi Mamia isle. I feed them healthy things and unhealthy things,
e.g. weetabix/ toast/ porridge/ fruit/ tuna/ cheese sandwiches/ crumpets/ egg/ beans/ spaghetti Bol/ chilli/ fish cakes/ risotto/ lots of chopped and hidden veg. My child eats well but is a bit fussy but I think that’s normal toddler fussiness.
I’m being specific because I genuinely think about this all the time.
Every time they ask for more my heart feels funny, I think why do they want more? Are they being greedy? Are they obsessed with food? I usually give an extra spoon or so of what it is if it’s the main dinner. Then it’s the want for yoghurt, which I give, but I can’t understand why they always seem upset if they can’t have it.
When we go to birthday parties and they are eating my heart is in overdrive, we went to a party where it was pizza and chips and the person was bringing around Haribo at the same time and I couldn’t comprehend it. I didn’t allow my child to have the sweets but did let them have the cake. Luckily I did this discreetly and other parents were similar so they weren’t the only one.
We went to another party and my child kept asking when they could go to the table to eat. Because of books and things I think they think that it’s the food that’s the party IYSWIM. But I found it hard to listen to.
I want to know what’s normal and what’s not. How did I help myself and my child and future children? Do I need professional help or can I just look up advice.
I often eat in secret and try to hide the amount. I think about food all the time.