Scared about someone from my past...

[BobbyBiscuits]

Hey everyone, hoping for a bit of a hand hold.

Just now a person (man) I haven't seen through choice for about 10 years turned up at my doorstep. I wish I hadn't answered as then he might not have known I still lived there.

He immediately looked very manic, and started yelling that I owe him money and that his mum is dying?! Shouting at me, demanding my number.

I was scared as he had form for physical violence and acting weird so just told him to go away and slammed the door.

He then kept knocking the door really loudly and yelling out my name, screaming out in the street that I'd pissed him off, how he was coming back and his mate lives round the corner.

This went on for about 5 minutes.
I was obviously terrified and shaking. I do not want anything to do with this person. I don't owe him anything, quite the opposite in fact.

I'm praying they won't come back but do I tell the police? I'm not sure if this incident alone is a crime but I feel really threatened and scared.

I live with my elderly disabled mum and I disabled myself so we can't defend ourselves easily.

Thank you for reading x

Of course you should tell the police, he was threatening you. Keep the chain on when you open the door.

Yes call the police, immediately. Let them know, even if nothing else comes of it they do need to know about this.

call the police

Definitely call the police

Thanks everyone. I should use 111 I guess as he's not there anymore so not immediate threat. I hope. X

You won't be the first person to complain about him, OP, so make the call and let the police deal with him. He sounds unhinged. Did he have MH or drug problems when you knew him?

@MounjaroUser thank you. Yes, he did, big time. That's why I stopped contact. What a stupid thing to do. Like what does he hope to achieve? Oh hi, let me give you all my love, money and sympathy BC you're screaming at me on my doorstep?!

@BobbyBiscuits it's 101 you need to call unless he's on your doorstep, then you can call 999 as it's a crime in progress. Really hope you and your mom are safe💐

Is this a serious question - "Do I tell the police?"

Someone with form for physical violence, stood on your doorstep, shouting, screaming, demanding your number for FIVE minutes and threatened to come back as his mate lives round the corner and you're asking if you should tell the police?

Christ alive, this is exactly what 999 is for.

@SaffronsMadAboutMe but the person had gone by the time I could think straight. You make it sound easy to make decisions like that. I literally had not seen them in a decade and long before that had history of violence. It all just put me in shock.

@Devilsmommy sorry, yes, 101. Or I was contemplating crimestoppers.

Fair enough you were in shock so didn't dial 999 at the time.

But why are you asking Mumsnet if you should let the police know what happened?

Do you honestly think anyone here is going to say "No don't tell them. He wasn't breaking the law by shouting, screaming and threatening two disabled women on their own doorstep"?

Get them told and if don't already have one, get a doorbell cam.

I'd definitely go for 101 or 999.

@SaffronsMadAboutMe the truth is I'm scared of the police as well. I'm scared of men in authority or men like the one I mentioned. Sorry I'm just so anxious sometimes I can't think straight.

why did you not call the police immediately? it must have been frightening for you

You need to call the police in case he comes back. Dial 101 and make a report.

@poppyzbrite4 thank you, I am doing it online x

Call the police. Ask to speak to a female officer.

Well done. Let us know when you've done it.

Hope you are OK now OP. 🥰🥰🥰 Hopefully he won't come back. You don't have to open the door. Look from a window and if it is him don't answer and ring the police. Hope you have made your report. Get a nice cup of tea. Hope you feel better soon.

Call police on 111 to log the incident, then if the b@stard turns up again, dial 999

Thank you all. I've had it logged online. Appreciate everyone's supportive words and advice! X

@Ukholidaysaregreat thank you. I'm ok now. I told the others the sitch, and not to answer without peeping out window first. At least for a while. Hopefully he'll get a warning or just know that no good can come of such things. Presuming he was under the influence when I saw him. That or just bang out of order.
Anyway, I'm going to push the experience away out of my mind. X

Definately call the police. At least give them a description of him and tell them he was abusive to you before.

You owe it to yourself and your mum to protect yourselves.

Never let these assholes get the better of you.

He sounds seriously deranged anyway.

God I'm sorry you are going through this. I've been where you are. Standing up to them is the only way forward for a quiet life.

Get in touch with your inner female warrior!

So sorry you are going through this. It's horrible I know. But YOU have the power! Just believe it.

@suburberphobe thank you. That's really kind and very motivating.
We doubt he's coming back. I did a double whammy and reported to crimestoppers as well.
I found out that even if I did owe him money (which I don't) there's a time limit of 6 years even if he was fucking coutts bank!?
I do feel bad about his mum but it's not my problem and yeah, he's totally deranged.