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Original poster

Money owed: how to remind without falling out

72 replies

Goldie82 · 13/09/2024 09:12

We have a small annexe attached to our house that we rent out on AirBNB Apr- September and then generally use for family and friends out of season. A friend of a friend needed somewhere to stay for her work (self-employed) a few nights a week for a few months so I agreed to let her stay in the annexe.
We agreed that she would pay me weekly just for the nights she is there at a 65% discount on normal rates. She has been there 3 weeks and has not paid anything yet.
I sent a friendly reminder and she said she would pay the following day but she didn’t.
I would call her an acquaintance rather than a friend but don’t want to upset her because of our mutual friend.
As she plans to stay for a few months I want to get the weekly payment thing established. I hate confrontation and am bad at cheery but assertive messages.
We’re about to go away for a week so I want to send a message before we leave. What should I say? She doesn’t appear to have any financial problems.

OP posts:
Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 13/09/2024 09:15

Why do you think your mutual friend would rather you get taken advantage of than stand up for yourself?

ShortScot · 13/09/2024 09:17

Hi name. We want you to feel welcome and settled here, however this is a further reminder that your invoice currently stands at X. If this isn’t paid in full by the end of the fourth week we will have to end our agreement and your stay.

As winter approaches and our bills increase, we either need paid weekly as agreed and on time and if a late payment happens again we will need each month in advance or to end your stay.

Thanks for your understanding.

BeMintBee · 13/09/2024 09:18

If I was your mutual friend I’d be embarrassed not upset that you’d had to ask more than once for payment. She’s being a cheeky mare.

print an invoice for money owed so far and another invoice for the next weeks payment with the due date. Be more formal about it.

Spenditlikebeckham · 13/09/2024 09:20

If she is actually ignoring you change the WiFi password.. She will quickly get in touch then...

Candaceowens · 13/09/2024 09:20

Just tell her it's been 3 weeks and she still hasn't paid and needs to do so asap. Why the big drama?

TemuSpecialBuy · 13/09/2024 09:21

honestly you aren’t a charity and she’s no one to you…

Tell her if it’s not settled in full by Sunday she needs to leave and when she is sorting that out please can she ensure she has enough to cover the next week too and going forward she needs to pay weekly in advance.

”Hi X!
you now owe £300 please can you ensure that’s paid by Sunday latest.
we will also need you to pay weekly in advance going forward it’s £100 pw so total payable by Sunday is £400.
we have been flexible to date but rent is very overdue now and I’m sure you’ll understand that if we don’t receive payment by Sunday you will need to make other arrangements and leave.”

Shinyandnew1 · 13/09/2024 09:22

I would go in and talk to her but if you don’t want to do that, send a text saying you haven’t received any money yet and could you have it by the end of today otherwise you’re presuming she doesn’t want to stay there and is moving out tomorrow.

Tbskejue · 13/09/2024 09:23

Send her another reminder and ask her to set up a standing order. If she doesn’t then let her know that she will need to leave.
Don’t bother your mutual friend about it.

BeMintBee · 13/09/2024 09:26

Spenditlikebeckham · 13/09/2024 09:20

If she is actually ignoring you change the WiFi password.. She will quickly get in touch then...

Ooh good idea.

Thrilley · 13/09/2024 09:26

IME being "nice" rather than business like about these things causes more, not less bad feeling.

Just tell her the arrangement was that the money would be paid weekly (or whatever) and that you need full payment by x date and regularly thereafter.

Voneska · 18/09/2024 00:35

Sorry I've been through similar.
It ain't gonna get better any time soon.
You've given discount on non payment of anything.
You will have to get tough with this one as she's already shown her colours. I don't know what country you're in but A Separate dwelling receives ALL PROPERTY RIGHTS. NO NEED TO PAY RENT AS SHE HAS ALL THE POWER OF RIFHT TO STAY AS LONG AS SHE LIKES WITHOUT HARRASSMENT. If I was you I should act naive and say you will have to ask her to stay in your main house ( ensure she's in agreement) make some excuse and don't let her back to the annexe. O ce she's settled into the main house you have power back and can evict without red

TheSandgroper · 18/09/2024 00:45

Contact Shelter. You are either on the front foot with this or the back foot. Find out what type of tenancy you have agreed to and the processes you must follow. Because you need to get her out.

Read any number of landlord stories in here about nice guys finishing last. Do not be a nice guy because from what you have written, I can assure you, your CF is not playing nice herself.

Get started today. Woman up. Hoik your bosoms. Take no shit.

And wtf about not upsetting mutual friend! It’s costing you good money! Mutual friend ought to be getting very upset on your behalf. Unless, of course, mutual friend is well aware of friends habits in which case mutual friend is not a friend at all but a mug hunter.

DoYouReally · 18/09/2024 01:50

Jane, it's disappointing that I have to send another reminder re the rent which is now three payments in arrears. I think it's best we part ways at the end of the week as this arrangement is not working out.

Mumandgf · 18/09/2024 02:24

You have to have your business head on in this situation and put any personal connection to one side.
Do not allow her to continue treating you so badly - write to her as suggested by others giving a short time to pay or end the agreement.
Any decent friend would stay out of a business arrangement or totally understand your actions. Good luck

beachcitygirl · 18/09/2024 03:44

Similar esque situation many years ago with a very close friend. I let it go & took a view that I will never ever ever mix money & pals again. I can hear my gran in my head "never a lender or a borrower be"

Be firm but fair & take no shit op & if you lose pals - they were not real ones.

MangoAndLimeNandos · 18/09/2024 06:48

This isn’t confrontation, this is her needing to pay for her stay!

cheddercherry · 18/09/2024 07:39

Shes already missed three payments and do you really want to spend weeks chasing her? I’d simply end it early and say it’s not worked out and you have other family members and friends who will be needing it AND who can pay on time. No need for niceties she’s taking the mick big time and if I were your mutual friend I’d be mortified at her behaviour.

shellyleppard · 18/09/2024 07:40

Ask her to pay up or get out???

ASphinx · 18/09/2024 07:42

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 13/09/2024 09:15

Why do you think your mutual friend would rather you get taken advantage of than stand up for yourself?

Exactly.

PenelopePitStrop · 18/09/2024 07:48

Hi X,
Thanks for agreeing to pay the current balance the other day, but it does not seem to have reached my account. Could you sort this out today please?

As this property is usually part of our AirBnB business, perhaps you could set up a Standing Order for the weekly payment? This would be much appreciated.

Thank you

Beesandhoney123 · 18/09/2024 07:52

Pop round, say hi x, insurance renewal and terms are no one longer than a month. Can you sign here - give her a pre prepared letter confirming move out and pay up in 7 days x amount after an agreed 3 week stay. Just like that, no frills and make sure it's dated.

Make sure she signs it there and then. ' don't be silly etc and if you don't sign it as I have to send it to insurance Co, you'll have to leave today as it won't be insured etc.

Have a mate with you. When she has signed it, get mate to sign it as a witness.

Make sure you change the locks. Don't let anyone stay without a signed agreement again.

Tell.mutual friend after its signed. If she won't sign, then tell mutual friend and ask mutual friend to come over as she has to go.

It's unlikely you will get any money

PenelopePitStrop · 18/09/2024 07:55

TheSandgroper · 18/09/2024 00:45

Contact Shelter. You are either on the front foot with this or the back foot. Find out what type of tenancy you have agreed to and the processes you must follow. Because you need to get her out.

Read any number of landlord stories in here about nice guys finishing last. Do not be a nice guy because from what you have written, I can assure you, your CF is not playing nice herself.

Get started today. Woman up. Hoik your bosoms. Take no shit.

And wtf about not upsetting mutual friend! It’s costing you good money! Mutual friend ought to be getting very upset on your behalf. Unless, of course, mutual friend is well aware of friends habits in which case mutual friend is not a friend at all but a mug hunter.

I give money to Shelter because of their support for people really struggling with finding a safe secure home for themselves.

Not to advise annexe owners with a wimpy approach to normal communication.

FancyNewt · 18/09/2024 07:55

Just give her a deadline to pay.

I can't believe the number of mumsnetters who are such wet blankets that they need people here to tell them how to deal with every day issues. No one here is going to suggest anything that isn't blindingly obvious; pay up or get out essentially.

AuntieLemonade · 18/09/2024 07:57

Stop being such a wet wipe and go and get your money!

And kick her out or charge up front. Any drama and turn off the water and electric (you will have a separate supply for an annexe).

NigellaAwesome · 18/09/2024 08:02

She's not going to get anywhere else for a 65% discount. Do you have booking terms and conditions because as others have said you need to be careful you haven't established an AST.

There are lots of good suggestions here to message her, but until payment is made and future payments are made up front then just tell her she can't stay.

I would just tell her it isn't working out. Have you factored in increased bills as winter approaches?