What would you do !! Honest opinions, need help..

[Gifgaf]

Me & DH due to have our 3rd child but we live in a 2 bed apartment but in a VERY affluent area with literally everything within a few minutes range. We are both extremely attached to where we live and love it here. Just to add this is a housing association and we do have the right to buy.

I am constantly looking to the future and how to better ourselves, whereas I find DH lacks heavily in this. We are in a potential Homeswap to a less affluent area (very different to what we have) but it's a big house and rent is cheaper.

Me & DH are now arguing because he is not keen on the area and says we shouldn't move and although I agree with him, the space would be extremely handy. My long term plan would be to save up and either buy that home or save more and buy back into where we live currently (could be years).

Honest opinions, what would you do considering all the points I mentioned or if anyone can provide some advice.

I am struggling to get an intellectual conversion out of my DH about a plan rather than just complaining.

I would move if you can OP

It's stressful not having enough space.

I've been there a long time ago

Ooh it sounds lovely where you are

Tricky one

I'd stay. Good location with a 3 min school commute and local family are worth gold. Baby in with you for a couple of years. Budget and work out a savings plan and look around again in 2 years. I would not move to a less desirable area if you can possibly help it. The one you're in sounds great.

Are there no other areas you would consider moving to?

From your last post it sounds like you (or is it DH?) really doesn't like the alternative area, and you haven't listed any positives about it other than the size of the house.
When I was having a new bathroom, I was dithering over taps - the ones I really liked were more expensive. The plumber said go for the ones you really like because every time you use the cheap ones you will have a momentary 'I don't like these taps' thought which will eat away at you. It would be this x1000 for a whole house.
Families cope with siblings sharing rooms and (shock horror!) only one bathroom.

A two bedroom flat with large rooms and possibly separate living areas is a very different prospect than one with small rooms and not much living space. Which is yours OP?

This is a mutual home exchange hence why the specific area. I have been looking for a long time but people don't really want to swap their homes with a garden for an apartment. However, as I am in a better financial position than previously, I would like to buy as a future plan

I think ‘right to buy’ is on the list of addressing the housing crisis, as in stopping. It may not apply to HA though. However, in my relative’s area they found that the discount on their HA was £10k off, the rules vary area to area but are not as good value by a long shot as council RTB. This probably applies to current and prospective home so I’d check that if it’s possibly going to affect your future plans. There would also be restrictions on selling immediately- probably paying all or some of the bonus back depending how long you had the home.
I think buying flats from a HA could be a problem in terms of future maintenance costs you have to contribute towards too.
As you do live in a decent area I am pretty sure another swap would come up in the next couple of years despite no garden - some people want to downsize and convenience is very attractive.
I just think you shouldn’t believe it’s this swap or never.
Sounds like you may regret this swap to be honest so take your time.
Hope it works out.

I came here to say this too.

I think you’ve got enough time to stay out for now. When is baby due? Assuming you are fairly early into your pregnancy you have at least 18 months to two years before realistically baby would need to move out of your bedroom.

I would spend that time really getting your finances in order to try and buy/rent a three bed in your current location. If in two years it’s not financially viable to do so then you move. Whilst I agree that space is going to be limited and stressful where you currently are the convenience of local amenities and family help when you currently don’t drive is a big deal.

@catkin89

well, if only you'd bothered to read the OP's posts, you wouldn't have needed to show yourself up

Why? I did read them all.

I have 1 large and 1 small and a huge living room

So I checked again and it's ' Right to acquire' and the discount I believe is c.£16k which is peanuts in house prices. I can resell at any point but if I sell within 5 years the percentage ranges from 1st year 100% pay back discount to year 5 20% I think and after 5 years nothing. There is the service charge also and maintenance which I'll have to factor. However, in the 6 years I've been here they have only painted the door once and hoping if I was to buy they can hold back on any external maintenance lol.

I have also felt some pressure from the other tenant and my DH is a bit suspicious of them and why they keep pushing so much to move hinges & using my pregnancy as a means to move quickly, whereas me and DH are ok to wait if anything.

I'd stay. Quality of life isn't just about the house. All the things you list (the walks, proximity of family, shops) make day to day life more enjoyable. If you can walk to everything you need where you are that's a huge bonus and you need to factor that in as a cost saving Vs the other location where it sounds as though you'll either have to learn to drive or use more public transport (not always easy with 3 kids in toe).

While the children are young, having them share the one big bedroom (with good use of space for storage and bunkbeds) shouldn't be an issue.

Also consider whether it's possible to partition the larger room into two smaller rooms.

The flip side of staying is that you'll have to really tighten your belts in order to save money into a pot for when the children are older and you really do need more space.

How old are your existing children and what sexes? Do you know the sex of the new baby? The answer to this will indicate how many years you could potentially deal with the as-is, then I think from there you need an honest conversation about what financial position it is reasonable for you to aim for in that time. If you've already got a boy of 9 sharing with a girl, for example, that situation is already pretty urgent even taking the new baby out of the equation.

2 girls (7 and 2.5) and the baby is a boy

This is a very good point, and not something I gave much thought to.

I have thought about making an extra room in the living room but because we spent all our time there literally, I thought it would be a shame to downsize it. Whereas the room you pretty sleep and that's it. In my room It would be decent enough for them to share with a bunk and single bed. However, I am planning to have a baby in my room regardless if I move or not until they are independent enough to stay alone in the room which is what I did with my other two also.

Currently, the kids come and sleep with us (their own choice) and we have that spare room going all the time. Makes me think we are going to move and end up having 2 rooms sitting empty because the kids love staying with us (up until a certain age I know it changes).

We had a big chat already and we will have to tighten our pockets for at least 2 years to get ourselves somewhere but the end goal is to eventually move out of an apartment and buy a home but ideally I'd like it in the area or borough I am currently in. Us moving now is convenient because of the garden and extra room but that's about it.

Okay so if we take the NSPCC recommendation that opposite sex children shouldn't share bedrooms after 10 years old, that gives you 3 years to work towards a situation where your eldest can have private space away from her little brother when she hits puberty. If you use this as a starting point to the conversation perhaps it might get a little easier to find common ground.

I am in a London RTB property too OP and I'd definitely encourage you to stay put in your current place. The other area doesn't sound like proper London at all and you'd find it really frustrating doing a school run on a bus with 3 dc and a buggy, and you would feel really isolated not being able to travel freely.

It's a shame that you have RTA rather than RTB - I am planning to apply for RTB on my flat in a few weeks, and the discount will be £136400 as it's full RTB. Do you know if the other house is a council tenancy or HA? If you could get a mutual exchange to a council (not HA) flat/house the discount would be far bigger and you wouldn't need to save for a deposit (the discount would be accepted as a deposit).

I believe the Labour government are planning to run a consultation into RTB and it sounds like they are aiming to keep the RTB but make the discount much lower (like when it was dropped to £16k under Blair's govt). So if your plans are dependent on being able to buy your flat at a discount, I'd aim to move forward with that as soon as you can, because changes will be coming (that's why I'm putting my RTB application in soon). Perhaps you can look into whether you can use the discount as a deposit (though I expect it won't be enough on its own), and submit thr application documents so you can get a formal valuation (it costs nothing and you can withdraw any time).

Both areas are in London and only 15-25 mins travel distance by car but it's area and borough. I am so used to the notice from cars and people that it relaxed me and moving I would definitely be more isolated and that could have an affect on my mental health (previous issues).

I think all HA are RTA which is a shame really but the £16k wouldn't be enough for a deposit alone but it may help towards the deposit we do plan to put together. I need to do an valuation of my flat and see how much it would cost and that would give me a clear indication on what I should be expecting to save. The only thing is if I do an valuation now and am not ready to buy yet as I need to save first, how long do they usually gold the price for?

Part of the Homeswap exchange I don't think I am allowed to swap my HA for council that's what I saw from some others.

Just on the note of saving, can anyone recommend any good methods that they are currently doing/ know of? I have made an enquiry to get a financial advisor to help me figure it out.

@catkin89

The OP wasn't asking about IF she should have a third child, she was asking about whether they should move or not!

The baby wasn't planned, but is a welcome surprise addition to the family.

HOW is your comment even remotely helpful?? The shitty comments had already been made plenty of times before you waded in unnecessarily, to judge the OP - why do that?

Don’t move.

🫶🏻

Just wanted to say thank you all so much, you've brought up many good points to consider and actually helped to form my decision. I've decided the location I am in is too good to give up for something less desirable. My heart is telling me to stay and so that's what I will do until I look to either buy where I am or close by .. 🫶🏻