"I don't want to talk about it but...."

[SingingRobin]

So if your teenager came into your room and said "I really don't want to talk about it but X happened" then walks of.

What do you do?

A) Acknowledge what they've said but don't talk about it as that's what they've asked and that's how they're handling jt

B) Bring it up another time as you secretly want to know what's going on/think they should talk about it

A-respectful but could look like you don't care
B shows you care or maybe shows you're just being irritating..

Yes B of course.

Dd did this recently, was some teenage argument with her boyfriend, so I text her to say I know she needs space, am here to talk when she needs to, or for hugs. Showed that I cared and easier for her than a face to face convo cos she wasn't ready for that.

Yeah not sure my kid is ready to talk. At least not tonight.

I think I'd say thanks for telling me, I'm here if you to want to talk about it and I have thoughts and leave it there

Not a teenager, but when adult DS texted a few months ago to tell us that he and his partner had split up, and he wanted space because he didn't want to talk about it yet, I texted back to tell him that whatever happened, we had his back, and asked him to keep in touch. I worried like crazy for several days, until he phoned. I had so many (unasked) questions, which I'll probably never ask now.
My advice is to keep the lines of communication open, and assure them of your support, whatever happens.

I Could teenager version of this!

She's my baby and I want to cuddle her and reassure her and talk it through and ask all the questions...

But she's also a not very touchy teenager who wants to do it her way.

I was this teenager and would say don’t push it. She knows she can talk to you because she just did (albeit she hasn’t said much yet). Let her have her space to think it through and next time you see her tonight or over breakfast just let her know that she can talk to you about this anytime and give her a quick hug.

Depending on what it is, I'd say thank you for telling me, I'm here if you decide you do want to talk about it. I've even told mine that, if they find it easier, they can send me a message or email to break the ice.

If it was something very serious you might have to follow up, of course. By respecting the small things, they're more likely to talk to you about the big things though.

It depends what it is.
”I don’t want to talk about it, but friend’s 15 year old cousin is pregnant” is very different from “I don’t want to talk about it but I’ve started taking class A drugs”.

It really does depend what X is. But as the mother of 4 adults I've learned they will talk when they want to x