Help with coming to terms with everything

[TheJoyousExpert]

Hi everyone.

I was diagnosed with Graves’ disease (overactive thyroid) in early Feb this year after having stomach issues…. but think I’ve had symptoms for at least maybe a year before that….. maybe even years before at times? Who knows!

I became really ill with the symptoms, pretty much bedbound. High heart rate when trying to do anything, breathless, dizzy, severe fatigued, stomach problems, nausea, severe depression and anxiety. I genuinely thought I was dying.

The meds didn’t work for me - they affected my liver and I felt terrible on them!

During that time, my mum unexpectedly became unwell (in front of me) and was taken to hospital in an ambulance.

In the mean time, I was referred for surgery and had the surgery early July. Two days later my mum passed away.

Struggling to get over everything - how I have this illness and I’ve had to remove an organ.

Grief and flashbacks of my mum being ill and then me having surgery.

Since then, I’ve been struggling with the worst anxiety and depression I’ve ever felt. I’ve felt like I’m dying every day.

Struggling with the fact i have an autoimmune disease, that I have to take Levo for life, unsure if it’s working properly - levels are still stabilising I think?

Scared of it all and facing life without my mum and without a thyroid and waiting for another illness to crop up.

any advice and friends appreciated

How old are you?

I don’t have any advice I’m afraid but just wanted to say sorry for your loss. That on top of health issues sounds like a really shit time

be kind to yourself x

Hi @DustyLee123 I’m 40

I’m so sorry about your mum and illness. Have you spoken to your GP about starting therapy? Grief counselling may be a start but you may need more understanding and acceptance of your illness too. You’ll have a real shock to the system dealing with both. I hope you’re recovering well from your surgery.

I was just wondering if you’re starting with peri, as l lot of your symptoms fit.

@DustyLee123 thanks dustyLee, I had actually thought the same thing….. guess it’s something I can look at and maybe try something for it?

@Mammma91 I have spoken to GP. I was referred for CBT but found it pretty unhelpful….. and then they referred me to the crisis team - they’ve been great about visiting etc. but still feel quite hopeless.

and not really getting anywhere with getting therapy 😔

I've been going through similar over the past few years as you have been.
I also found CBT useless. Counseling services I found more helpful, but most of all, being kind to myself and not over doing it.
Yes I get some very frustrating days. Yes I often think I shouldn't feel like this in my 30's.
Talking about it to someone who doesn't judge, and sometimes even doesn't offer a fix. Simply listens and acknowledges my frustrations and "despair" (that's maybe too strong a word but I can't think of another) helps me a lot.

Hopefully your thyroid levels even out soon and that should help with regulating your moods/emotions. My thyroid is currently swinging between over active and under active and yes, why it's high am an emotion mess, everything is too much and I'm anxious about everything. And when it's low I struggle to get out of the "why bother, everything is shit anyways" mood.

Loosing your mum, especially suddenly, can have massive delayed response. My grief councilor said it was not unusual for people to only start to come to terms with the death untill 6 month to a year afterwards. I'm now nearly 2 years since loosing my mum and I'd now agree with that.

You have been through a lot. Coming to terms with it all is a time thing unfortunately. Take time to enjoy the little things, find something low energy that you enjoy that can be a self care routine for you. Mine is going for a walk, finding a nice bench and reading for a bit. Or crochet/knitting.