Mild autism - girl

[RRai]

My daughter 10 year old, recently got diagnosed with 'mild autism'. During the session, the psychiatrist said, "Ohh I should not be revealing this now, but it's ok to say that your child has mild autism". My daughter was with me during the session. I went exploring for the diagnosis to find more clarity but now, I feel more conflicted. My daughter has not taken the diagnosis well, she is not an adult to think it rationally nor small enough to just ignore. I would have preferred if I was given the opportunity to reveal this at the appropriate time. I also feel conflicted in the diagnosis as my daughter is highly functioning and although I know that girls can mask these traits, but can the diagnosis be confirmed just from one single session. If this diagnosis is correct, how should I navigate ahead? How can I help my daughter? Right now, I am telling her that the diagnosis may be wrong and I can see her relaxing, but this may do more harm to her if she has mild autism. Please help, I am as confused as ever. Thank you very much!

@JustAnotherUserHere yes I agree that's an excellent point. Like many things, one description or diagnosis just doesn't do enough to capture the extreme differences between each Autistic individual; let alone consider the co morbidities.

The term high functioning is also problematic in that one assumes someone is doing fine when a great deal of struggle may be occurring behind the scenes.

For someone like OPs daughter, I see how sympathising with her and accepting that for her it feels patronising and she may prefer ASCondition will be useful in bringing her towards acceptance . My son doesn't feel disordered so I'm going to support him on that. It just won't apply to all.

Hi @RRai

Don't have much time to respond at the moment but just wanted to respond to one point.
I think its natural for your child to struggle with understanding what it means and to not want to be seen as different.
My son was diagnosed at 4, I adopted him at 8 and was astonished to discover it had never been mentioned to him.
It took me quite a while to explain to him because we had other things going on.
To say he didn't like the idea was an understatement. He struggled massively with it into his teens. I think he started to realise that he gravitated towards certain people because they too had ASD or ADHD. His secondary school had dozens of kids with ND conditions, he also began to realise that lots of people have something 'different ' about them. And most importantly that it's ok to be different.
He is 20 now, at university, doing well. We don't even talk that much about the ASD anymore. We have arrived at our way of living and managing it.
I'm not a big fan of the idea of ASD and 'super powers' but what he has realised is that he is good at some things because of how his brain works and not so good at other things because of how his brain works. He also realises that people like him because of who he is, and ASD is part of that.

OP did you go to this psychiatrist FOR a private autism assessment?

Presumably soemthing has made you realise she has some difference that led you to attend?

Are you in the UK.

I think with "labels"it can help to remember the child is still the same child with or without the label. It doesn't change your child.

I think for most autistic people I speak with having a diagnosis has helped far more than not having one. It's often a relief if they find out later in life as it "makes sense" of their difficulties.

I wish there was less stigma and fear around autism (and mental health in general) as I don't think that helps and do be careful she doesn't pick up from you any fear around it. Some people celebrate a diagnosis :)

Have you looked at some resources around autism and understanding autism? It can help understand why your child is struggling or changes you can make to make life a bit easier.

Im an autism assessor and this doesnt sound at all correct. Its a lengthy process, you would have been sent lots of questionaires to fill in, the school, GP would have been contacted, all that would be collated and she would have had one or two sessions of testing using ADOS-2 at the least. Then that would be looked at by other professionals before a detailed report would be done.

Are you saying she was just having therapy and the psychologist suggested she was? This may happen as a recommend to get an assessment, but the assessment in and of itself is a very long detailed process that has to follow a set protocol to be valid. Has she just written a report based on a couple of generic therapy sessions? If so, that is extremely sketchy and I would be questioning that and informing BPS or whoever she is registered with.

Not all psychs can diagnose autism. It takes specialist training, and if shes using terms like mild autism and from what you have said about the process I would say she hasn't had the training. I hope you haven't already paid.

Also - if it helps - the newest term for autism is ASC (Autism Spectrum Condition). I dont think its much better than Disorder tbh, but she might. Tell your daughter that it is NOT a disability it is a difference and is very much viewed as such these days.

I hope that is all helpful. Getting a diagnosis is a good thing usually, but it needs to be done correctly and the follow-up support is the most important thing in my view, and that needs to be done by someone who knows what they are talking about. This person doesnt sound like they do. Best of luck.