Death of Parent grief

[Howcanis]

How long did it take you to 'get over' the death of a parent? my grief seems to be getting worse, not better, it has been 6 months.

my mum was late 70s and had dementia for 5 years before she died. so it was expected. I cared for her, so at first I'm ashamed to say there was some relief. not all selfish though, it was a miserable and terrifying time for her.

now I am close to tears, all the time, constantly. and I feel sad and guilty

Totally sense - I think when we are exhausted straight after a death like this our brains give us a little time to recover physically before we start to grieve. Its totally normal. But maybe something like CRUSE can help? Take care.

I can't remember TBH. My dad died 37 years ago and my mum 34 years ago. I just remember them fondly and with nostalgia, not grief or sadness.

Sorry for your loss

My mum died very suddenly in June 22, the first full year was the worst. All the 'firsts' to get through. But then December just gone I cried pretty much daily. There's no timeline, but if you're so sad you're struggling to function please speak to someone. Sending so much love 💕

My mum died 20 years ago so the impact of that has lessened considerably. Every now and then I dream about her, or she's in one of my dreams. I really love those dreams.

This might not be true of everyone but in my experience, losing my mum (now more than 10 years ago) felt so primal. When we're born, our mother is everything to us, holds us, keeps us warm, feeds us, is a physical presence. So to lose that person, who gave us life and with whom we felt safe, is incredibly raw and painful. It really is a loss, it feels like life will never quite be the same again. No matter how long ago it was that we were a child, or how old she was when she died, or how expected it was.

And yes to the PP who said it's not linear, it ebbs and flows. It doesn't feel the same to me now as it did in the first months and years, but I still miss her.

I would also say, don't be scared to feel your feelings. It's OK to be sad (or angry, or numb, or hopeless), it's just emotion, and it will change from hour to hour and day to day.