Dd has developed OCD and she isn't coping with my dog.

[Ddandmydog]

I have a large breed 3yo dog.

The last year has seen dd develop a, quite severe, disability, which has changed our whole lives.

Alongside this she has developed OCD and she really isn't coping with the dog at all.

She's back on the waiting list for help again, this will likely take 6-8 months.

She is also autistic.

The OCD means that she cannot stand the dog being near her due to the drool, she can't tolerate the sound of her eating, she can't abide any dog hair near her, she has to wash everything the dog has touched.

I don't know what to do, I'm trying to separate them as much as possible, and I make sure her environment is as clean as possible, and I do everything I can to try and mitigate the stress for dd, but I'm struggling to cope to be honest.

Is there anyone out there with a child with OCD and a dog? Any words of advice please?

Cat and severe OCD? Hospitalised at one point with it. We didn't get rid of the cat, we did have some space where the cat didn't go (upstairs) and we reinforced how dependent the cat was on us for food and cuddles and shelter.
OCD is shit. I recommend OCD UK charity, UK Parenting OCD Facebook group (similar name) and therapy that includes ERP.

Thank you, I haven't even looked at any OCD support as yet with everything else going on at the moment with dd, so I'll have a look at those.

Dd is in part time school so I take the dog out while she's at school then I need to go round and gut the house (easier said than done when dog jumps in the river and rolls around in mud) so dd can cope with coming in. Winter is coming so it's going to be a billion times worse.

I'm sorry OCD is also impacting your life, it's just debilitating, I really didn't know much about the impact before my dd had it, so I'm having to learn very quickly.

Honestly op give it an inch and it takes a mile. Dont change anything with the dog, make some safe space for your daughter but the more you accommodate ocd the more it makes itself at home.

Do you know anyone that would be willing to look after the dog for a while, while dd tries to get on top of all that is going on for her? It sounds like she is very distressed by the dog and it's hard to get over anything when you're in a constant state of distress.

It sounds like she may have misophonia which is very common with ASD and incurable. That means she will probably never be able to cope with the sound of the dog eating. Does she have repetitive behaviours and fears/OCD over other things or is it just the dog that affects her?

This dog is making your dd's life absolutely miserable that's what we know for sure, so if she can't go and stay with someone else for a while at least then I really think you have to put your dd first and consider rehoming your dog. Did she love the dog and was happy around it before the OCD developed? If so then i'd delay permanent rehoming, if not then I'd guess that even ERP won't change that and she may be able to tolerate dogs and not be sent into complete sensory overload/meltdown but she still might not be happy living with a dog full time.

I agree with not accommodating OCD - although I guess you're already doing that by gutting the house before your dd gets home - but when we're talking about an autistic child with sensory issues and misophonia if the dog is the only issue causing the response, and she's not concerned about germs in any other setting then I'd be considering rehoming the dog. If she is terrified of dirt and germs in lots of different settings then rehoming the dog isn't going to help.

There’s a book called Talking Back to OCD. Worth a read - explains why avoiding triggers makes them worse and gives a toolkit for coping. The book values therapy alongside the help in the book.

It's not just the dog, although she sees to be her biggest trigger at the moment.

She can't tolerate people at school touching her things either, there's also things like she can't share a pack of sweets or crisps or whatever if someone else has taken one, she can't have food touching in her plate, she needs her own tube of toothpaste just in case someone else has dirtied it etc.

There's nobody who would take my dog on for a short while, she's a large breed and is also very bonded to me so would struggle in a new environment and she needs a lot of space.

If it came to it then I absolutely would try and rehome her as my dd will always come first, but I'm really hoping not to get to that point, and I do think that dd is going to need to learn to cope with things and not just have me deal with everything that she is struggling with. She loves the dog as well, they were inseperable until recently, so I think dd would be devastated if she wasn't around any more, even with her struggling just now.

This is all new to me and I'm trying to juggle everyone's needs and it's bloody hard.

I've just ordered that book, thank you.

Also recommend break free from ocd. My child is fully recovered following intensive therapy but it's hell when you are in the midst. I disagree gently over the dog; if this is ocd don't get rid of the dog, ocd will just find something else. It's like a bloody parasite.

https://slam.nhs.uk/obsessive-compulsive-disorder

^^ some basic info here. SLAM are recognised experts. (South London and Maudsley trust)

Totally agree with this.

There’s also a children’s work book called ‘What To Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck’

I wouldn't do anything, agree with pps if it's not the dog it will just transfer to something else.

Feeling anxious is horrible but it's not the end of the world and eventually her stress levels will come down.

Enabling OCD irrational fears just makes them worse ime.

I have severe OCD which is being treated by medication. I've been on the waiting list for CBT for almost a year, I've had OCD for 30 years so I'm sure I can wait a bit longer.
As an adult I would say keep the dog. It is best to face triggers with OCD and it will find something else to become obsessed with if the dog gets rehomed.

Yes she needs to learn that its her OCD thats the issue not the dog, otherwise the OCD takes over everything

This. Voice of experience (loved one with severe OCD that jumped from one resolved issue to another).

My best friends son has OCD about birds (& germs) & refused to even go to Nana’s where their budgie was in a cage. They were advised not to rehome the budgie as it wouldn’t help as he would (& did) transfer it onto something else. His hands were red raw from washing, it was awful for all.

He’s much better now.

Ddandmydog and anyone struggling with OCD,

It might be worth trying daily dietary supplementation with Vitamin B12 and Vitamin D3 (active form of Vit D) to see if there is any improvement, unless there is any medical contra-indication in doing so. [check with medical advice if there is any issue in taking vitamins and for dosage].

There have been studies and meta-analyses of studies on OCD and vitamin deficits and it has been shown that Vitamin B12 levels are significantly lower in people with OCD and vitamin deficits also seen in Vitamins C and E.

In some studies, lower levels of Vitamin D are seen in patients with OCD, Autism, ADHD and depression.

Also, an over-the-counter amino-acid derivative NAC (N-Acetyl-Cysteine) has been shown to reduce severity of symptoms in some populations of patients with OCD and OCD-Related disorders (Skin picking, nail biting, trichotillomania).

May I draw your attention to these two review papers of multiple clinical studies on OCD and OCD-Related disorders?

(1) Serum Vitamins and Homocysteine Levels in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis (2021).
Article here: (see Introduction and scroll down for Discussion section)
https://karger.com/nps/article/80/6/502/825491/Serum-Vitamins-and-Homocysteine-Levels-in

(2) N-Acetyl Cysteine in the Treatment of Obsessive Compulsive and Related Disorders: A Systematic Review" (2015)
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4423164/

I wish you good luck and hope your daughter improves. As other people have said, don't give up your beloved dog. OCD will not be improved by losing your pet. It will simply manifest another 'trigger' for obsession-compulsion. Your dog is not the cause. I wish your daughter improved health and I hope you find something that helps her reduce symptoms and give relief.

[Anecdotally, I have an OCD-related disorder and found, by happy accident, that taking Vitamin B1, B12, helped reduce symptoms.]

Good luck to anyone struggling with such a condition. I hope you find relief.

This is so interesting!
I have two friends with severe OCD - in one case it led to the breakdown of his marriage. He is a heavy smoker and do I tinder if vitamin deficiency could be relevant to him. Will be sending him these articles.

But for the OP -I would definitely get rid of the dog.

ugh that is super hard. I woudn't get rid of the dog just yet.
We had OCD (still do) and OCD intrusive thoughts of her stabbing me and i was told to keep our knifes etc.(we all knew she actually woudln't stab me or hurt anyone - pretty sure she doesn't want to stab me now after a year of therapy)
I agree with OCD will find something else to focus on if you remove the dog. We've got lights to turn off in a certain order, lint in the dryer to check is clear each night, we had sink holes but that got replaced with the war some time ago - she has to ask DH every night about 2 places (i've forgotten as i tune out lol). We got lucky with quick therapist for DD but they should be able to link you even with online she could do?
I know DD was doing some online the therapist gave her between sessions and i'm sure it was free.
Hope things ease as i know it's so stressfull! We had just come out of other DD self harming and an eating disorder and just as i thought life could calm down other DD's mental health nose dived. Fun times lol.

Personally when I rehomed my dog I felt much better. It felt like my house was ‘safe’ again. My OCD didn’t transfer to anything else. I think because it wasn’t actually an irrational fear- dogs are dirty, and my house was cleaner (and smelled better) without a dog in it. I’m autistic too btw

The sound and visual disgust are not always something that can be worked past. There are certain sounds that I find especially annoying and distracting. They are sounds other people might not even notice. There are other sounds that cause me physical pain. Those sounds can make my whole body shudder. They make my teeth hurt. There is no way to acclimate to those things. Being around them is just always stressful.

for dd who has autism and anxiety, we can’t remove every obstacle. She does need to learn to manage her stress. That said, it is incredibly important that a person with autism be able to relax at home. They need to have a space where they don’t have to mask and where they aren’t dealing with things that cause distress.

since the majority of our household members have ASD, we live primarily by ASD rules throughout the house. In a house servicing multiple needs I would at least make sure there are one or two rooms that are designated ASD friendly. Obviously the child’s bedroom will be fully set up for her, but she shouldn’t be confined to her room to have a bit of relief. For now, that would mean no dogs allowed in those zones.

Ridiculous statement 🙄

Your dog is better off too 🙄 dogs aren't dirty, they can get dirty. Honestly some people just like an excuse.

I wouldn't let a child dictate either OP. You're letting her know you'll accommodate her whims. What next?!

I think it's very important to identify what is autism and what is ocd. Sensory needs can be met , ocd needs should be resisted as far as possible.

—is incredibly important that a person with autism be able to relax at home. They need to have a space where they don’t have to mask and where they aren’t dealing with things that cause distress—
This! Totally obvious that the dog is causing enormous distress - incredible that it is being kept.