I just want to disappear

[catdoghorserabbit19]

I'm about to be put on massively by a friend. If I didn't help out them out then it would have gone down like a sack of sh*t with them. I cannot say what it is on here as it could be outting and I have concerns friends of my friend could be on here.

I will be inconvenienced to some extent. This could potentially be a regular inconvenience. There was no way I could have said no, it would not have been perceived very well at all and would have made for huge awkwardness, which I just don't do. As it is, I've gingerly said yes through very gritted teeth.

This could be the straw that breaks the camels back for me. I don't do confrontation, which is what it could come to if I said no. I don't do awkwardness. My friend has put me in both of these situations.

I am so sick of doing it all/being the one who is put in the middle/made to chose who I will upset as decisions will not always please everyone and quite frankly I just want to disappear/go missing.

Having said yes, you're sort of committed this time. Are you able to say....'yes for this time but I'm unable to do it again as it doesn't work for me' with a regretful smile? No excuses, no reasons just...it doesn't work for me.

Be careful you don’t surround yourself with people who exploit your conflict avoidant tendencies. I would question your friendship if you saying no would be an issue for them. You are entitled to say no.

I agree with PP, you can explain that you can’t do this continuously. Is there any excuse you could make if you want to make life easier? Work commitments, family members, your health isn’t great (by the sounds of it your mental health is being strained by this).

I feel for you OP, you deserve to not bend over backwards for people for fear of upsetting them

thanks @Lifestooshort71 but how do you say to your like-a-sister friend - or any close friend - ''sorry, it doesn't work for me''. I am all for helping out friends but over the years its been ask after ask and I have never asked anything of her. My life is purposely set up so I don't have to ask others/to make it easier for me but this latest ask just puts so much pressure on me. The ask alone gives me anxiety. I get overwhelmed at the slightest thing. Just making it through the working day (wfh) plus making the sure beds are made/dishwasher is loaded, unloaded/house is tidy (I need to have a tidy house for a tidy mind and like these things to be done in the day so I can work in a sense of calmness) and my home to-do list is up to date makes me overwhelmed.

@catdoghorserabbit19 real friends don't continually put on you like this, sorry but tell them you have too much on your plate next time they ask again, you can't pour from an empty cup and remind them you organise your life to avoid relying on people perhaps she should do the same.