Do I have ADHD? Never thought I'd be posting this

[mabelandme1]

I've come to the realisation, I'm either a complete fuck up and was dropped on my head as a baby, or I have some underlying issues.

Throughout my entire life, from school right through to work, I've had difficulty concentrating, I fidget, always bit my nails, U used to have a condition (tritch) where I pulled my hair out with stress, struggled to understand simple things, for example maths was a huge issue for me in school.
I have always had an incredibly bad temper. I can control it now, but I am snappy, get irritated very easily. I lack empathy and keep my emotions close to my chest, I'm very private and can't converse easily about my emotions.

Even in my adult life, I still have the same issues, even with work, I struggle to get organised, I lose concentration, make constant stupid mistakes and get so upset with myself over it. I struggle coping with stress. I feel like a failure 90% of the time. I also have a bit of a problem with cleanliness and think I may also have OCD. When I clean, I deep clean the entire house, once I start going, I do not stop. Everything has to be a certain way, look a certain way.
I get snappy if DP does the slightest thing that doesn't fit into my schedule, for example, he will leave his shoes out and it will make me want to rip his head off as it makes the house look messy and last but not least, my memory has always been horrendous.

Am I abnormal - normal - or have I got a mental issue? I feel like on the outside no one would suspect a thing as I seem a tough cookie with my head screwed on, I'm very good at hiding my issues but surely this cannot be normal, or is it normal. Am I just a complete dumb fuck?

You're asking in the wrong place really.

Have you explained any of this to your GP?

Hi @SaffronsMadAboutMe, no, this is the first time I've genuinely considered I might have an underlying problem. I feel stupid going to the GP asking them to 'test' me. How do they why even know? And will it make me feel worse knowing somethings wrong with me. Can they even help me?!

Bump

Just speak to them if it's bothering you. They'll help you much more than Mumsnet ever could.

I doubt your GP will 'test' you but they'll obviously send you on the correct path if you need tests of any kind.

There’s so many people being diagnosed as adults, especially women. I was diagnosed at 40. I think it’s certainly worth looking in to. If you genuinely have ADHD now the idea is in your head, you’ll focus on it and go down the rabbit hole of research 😂
On the surface, you wouldn’t know I have it. I have a degree, a profession, never been fired. But scratch beneath the surface and you’ll discover I did 3 years of college to get my A/levels, failed my degree and had to change courses, I’ve changed roles within my profession many times, my house is filled with Doom piles. A diagnosis has lead to a better understanding of myself, being able to explain my behaviours to others, getting more support at work, medication! I’m so glad I know.
You can contact your GP to get the ball rolling for assessment. I’d recommend ADHD love on social media and they’ve written two books (also in audio book format narrated by them) for some insight.

Usually they talk you through a questionnaire and then refer you if it looks likely, so they sort of do test you.

Anyway, OP, it sounds like you might well do, so talk to your GP about assessment and do some reading around ADHD and autism (it’s possible to have both), if nothing else it will give you insight into managing your challenges (many of which I share, it is an arse)

There is a self screening test on the adhd uk website. Good place to start.

@StarsBeneathMyFeet @theduchessofspork Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. Even booking a doctor's appointment is a task in itself for me, the thought of having to book one, go to the doctors, wait months for a referral... already makes me feel exhausted. I wish I could think how normal people think. I also noticed you can get ADHD from your mother smoking. My mother was/is a HEAVY smoker and smoked all through her pregnancy with me. Let's blame the cigs

I've got ADHD (diagnosed in primary school) and absolutely hate cleaning the house. Have to really push myself to do it and can easily procrastinate for 2-3 hours before starting. It's literally the hardest part of my routine and I work 50-60 hours a week and go to the gym four weeks a night.

You could ask your GP for a referral.
OCD isn't about cleaning though.
Difficulty to concentrate, skin picking and executive function issues could be indicative of being ND. Short temper might just be your personality!

I'm not a doctor...
But, a lot of what you have described is my daughter to a tee. She has recently been diagnosed with ADHD after wrongfully diagnosed with depression years ago. Because of her age (25) it was a long process to be seen, in the end we paid for a private assessment. She feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders knowing what the issue is.
I hope a doctor can put you on the right track...

ADHD UK has a screener and good information about ADHD and pathways to diagnosis. It also points out what to do if your unlucky to get a GP that isn't supportive of a referral or fobs you off as to why they think they you don't have ADHD or should need a diagnosis ( they aren't qualified to assess if do or don't, hence the referral and the specialist will only accept onto waitlist if screeners /additional info suggests it possibly)
Additude Mag

October is ADHD awareness month so there will be lots of virtual events/conferences on.

It's worth being aware that ADHD & Autism overlap fair bit so could be either from description. It's also possible to have both in which case it can mask some of their more noticeable traits of both to others but leave you internally feeling quite conflicted given the often opposing needs in which case you can find you won't feel 100% sure you fit either.

Embrace Autism has a range of diagnostic tests to try and also explains them, the pitfalls and rewords some questions which tend to confuse ND so that your answering more accurately. Much of the past research for these screeners/diagnostic tests are based on a narrower type when they believed mainly males were affected and in ADHD they used to believe kids would grow out so they are catching up with studies into adults/hormones etc.