Colleague who complained about me now wants me to train them

[Ginghamiscute]

I found our new start making an arse of something and tried to stop her. It took me two days to fix and isn’t completely resolved yet, a fortnight later. She complained about ‘a lack of respect’ to our manager and I had to have ‘a chat’ about her feelings.

Today she came to me and asked if I would stay late to train her up on something else. No apology or nothing! Am I just petty or am I valid in saying no?

Of course yanbu to refuse to stay late. During office hours of course you should show her the thing she needs to know unless there's someone else more appropriate to do the training is supposed to be doing it. If she is capable of causing days of extra work by doing things wrong then making sure she gets training so she doesn't make errors has to be a top priority.

Does she owe you an apology though?

I witnessed one of my colleagues snapping at another and they had to have a chat together with a manager present.

They're all good now, so one would definitely train the other if needed.

But if it's not part of your job anyway, tell her to ask the appropriate person.

My hours are the busy ones and you need peace and quiet for this one. I have a bit of a knack for it but the manager could definitely do it.

I'd have thought of a polite excuse to decline. I'd also be wary of staying after hours with her or having one to one conversations in case she makes any more allegations. Watch your back.

Say no; under the circumstances, you don't feel it would be APPROPRIATE for you to be this person's trainer. 🤭

I'd go in with'Do you feel I'd be the right person, given that this individual doesn't feel I respect them?' 🤔

The fact she complained of "a lack of respect" and wanting a chat about "her feelings" tells you all you need to know about her. Stay out of her way as nothing you do will be appreciated and you will get the blame when she makes mistakes in the future.

Since when does a trainee new joiner demand that long-standing and more senior staff have to earn their respect?

Jeez.

We have no idea how the OP spoke to her to be fair.

I kind of feel sorry for the new start. She was untrained and messed something up, and then was obviously made to feel absolutely crap about it by you to the extent that she felt it necessary to speak to her line manager. You shouldn't have to stop late to train someone, but you perhaps need to be a little nicer!

I'm confused about the workplace culture TBH. As in, first line says "I found our new start making an arse of something and tried to stop her", but with no indication as to whether or not OP was in any way responsible for this person, why the person was doing what they were doing, and if OP was in a position of authority to ask her to stop.

Also, "she came to me and asked if I would stay late to train her up on something else". Is it normal for a new starter to have to ask people to train them? Shouldn't this have all be explained during the induction, as to what tasks they will be doing, and who will train them & when?

No, but the onus is not on existing experienced employees to 'earn' the respect of a brand new starter. The new employee should be showing due deference to the more senior / long term employees, and if anything, should be going out of their way to impress them and earn their respect.

No, I think this sounds like ageist nonsense to be honest.

All colleagues should be showing each other respect. This is the basic minimum I would expect from any human being.

The new starter may be easily upset though, or the OP may have spoken to her badly.

We don't know, but the OP's manager obviously decided they needed a chat.