Party for birthday or not?

[partyornottoparty]

I have n/c for this.
Just need others perspective!

My DC has just started reception this September. Her birthday is at the start of the summer so she is only just 4 really so I am thinking way ahead!

For her previous 4 birthdays we have generally done family things to celebrate; big holidays, days out to theme parks , grandparents tea etc.... . She's always been ecstatic with this and has never asked for a party.

She has been to a fair few parties in pre school, all of which were whole class invitations, but only a few ever turned up at a time, probably a max of 10. Numbers tended to be built up by siblings, cousins and other family friends children.

She now attends the primary attached to the pre school.

I'm starting to think ahead to potentially doing a 5th birthday party for her. But I've been sent into a silly panic as I have been in her classroom today and the teacher has put all their birthdays up and there is 5 in her birthday month!

My DC has no siblings.
All her cousins are in their late teens and live miles away so doubt they would even come anyway if forced by their parents!
We have moved several times across the country since she was born, all our friends have grown up /much older children. We don't have any NCT/baby class friends as we didn't do them due to COVID and constantly moving!!

So to build up numbers external from school would be difficult at the minute. I do have her signed up for various clubs this year in the hope we can broaden her social circle and meet new friends.

What happens if all 5children have parties?
What if only the standard "10"attends from school?

What is the etiquette for all this party stuff? I'm getting seriously stressed already. I just don't want to let her down.

Wait and see how class parties pan out this year- generally in school parties become a big deal and children talk about them so no one wants to miss them- if this is the case then her party will be well attended. X

Thank you for the reply. Yes I'm sure it will change in reception like you say, no one wants to miss out! It's a long way off, but I worry, it's bothered me since she started going to pre school parties and I would be counting (in my head!) the kids I knew (which was never many!) and panicking thinking how I would bump up party numbers!!

Once you have tried to organise 10 4/5 year olds to play party games, you will be relieved the full class didn't attend.

If you can get to know the other children’s parents that have birthdays in that month you could try and arrange it so it doesn’t clash with the other children’s parties, so everyone has the best chance of having a good turn out.

@Sprogonthetyne haha yes I suppose!!

@EscapingTheseFeelings yes I hope as time goes on I'll be able to meet the parents and hopefully there will be no clashes. I'm a bit more rational today, my mind just got carried away with panic yesterday!

DD is a July baby and we had one year (Reception) of class parties, with around 20-25 of 30 children attending.
It tapers off the following years, we did one large party in Y4 as we had no space restrictions for the swimming pool.

Some parents club together and do a joint party, can work if you know the parents well and agree on the entertainer and concept and how you split the costs.

Don't forget that in Reception most parents will stay, especially in venues like soft play, it can be a great opportunity to make contacts.

Yes, we spent the weekends in Reception at least one party per month.

Some people choose to only invite a small number from pre-school that could also be the case.

At our school most people teamed up with 2-3 others and did joint parties. If yours is at the end of the year you have a good chance of being able to do that. Most children had a class party in reception here (but most of those were joint).

Some options:

• See who she gets friendly with and do a joint party
• Do a deliberately smaller party e.g. soft play, at home
• Invite everyone and don't worry if numbers are small. If worried, invite siblings along too.

I’d have a party for her. In my experience, most children attend whole class parties unless they really aren’t home that weekend because they don’t want their dc missing out. It will be normal in a big class to have several a month. You could always possibly organise with a parent you get to know to have a joint party, which everyone will much appreciate as takes some of the hassle out of it for invitees and for both of you.

Joint parties are the way to go. Band together with a few others and do something big.

One year 5 kids in DS1's class clubbed together and did a hoverboard party (aged 9, I think). Utterly unaffordable for one child's party, but split five ways was doable.

And everyone else will be grateful for more of their weekends back.

Is there a class WhatsApp group? If not maybe you could start one?
When DC1 started reception I got friendly with a few mums and we eventually started a class WhatsApp group. If you work out who are the parents of the children with birthdays close to your child's, you could message them (nearer the time obviously!!) to see if they are up for a joint party or just want to coordinate so as to avoid clashes. Wait and see though because sometimes there is a trend for big parties ie whole class invited (in which case you don't want to clash/compete and better to do a joint party or a different day) but sometimes there isn't.

Thanks everyone for all the suggestions. I need to stop overthinking it and go with the flow. These are our circumstances and we just have to deal with it, not everyone has endless siblings/cousins/child friends through their parents friends. I will do all I can to broaden her circle and hopefully can start making connections at school myself!