I'm completely unrecognisable

[WhoAmWe]

I've very recently had a baby, my second in two years, and I just cannot believe what I look like. I'm so unbelievably grateful for what my body has done, but my god, I'm a different person now.

I've put on 35lbs this pregnancy, and I kid you not, lost not a single pound after birth!? Weighed myself when I got home and I was exactly the same weight as when I left for the hospital, which was only 48hrs previously.

My face is huge. I'm huge. My tummy is a droopy mess. I have hair growing everywhere. Even my teeth look less white.

With my first I dropped 7lbs immediately and then within a week was losing weight really quickly and consistently. I don't know what's happened to me but I just hate seeing pictures of myself, I hate looking in the mirror. I honestly feel repulsive. It's not even just my weight, it's everything. The dark circles under my eyes make me look like the undead.

I'm breastfeeding again this time round but it's not having the same weight loss effect. 35lbs is not far off what I gained with my first but as it's not coming off, it feels like a huge huge mountain to climb and I just want to sob.

Feel so down and so disgusting. Don't want to see anyone. Don't want my husband to look at me.

Just a sad rant really 🙁

Sending a hug. I had my first and 2nd 1.5 years apart so understand a bit. How long ago did you have your second? If it’s still very recent then your body needs more time to start feeling normalish again!

Ugh sympathies, I had the same after my second, In fact with both babies I breastfed and I found I actually HELD ON TO weight. I looked it up at the time and there is a train of thought and/or some evidence to say that for some women breastfeeding makes you gain or hold onto weight. Something to do with cortisol as I recall - I guess I could look it up again! I breastfed them both for a year and after that the weight began to shift easier. Neither of them slept either - and I am talking 10 x wake ups a night for baby no1 even when he was a year old. We had to get in a sleep trainer in the end. Lack of sleep again makes your body hold onto fat.

I guess the only thing I can say to help you feel better is it will pass and once it does get back out there and start looking after yourself again. So for me that means weight training, healthy-ish eating and a lot of daily walking. Once the babies were, say, 2 and 4 I was back to the gym, size ten and happy again with my looks. I get your misery though, it's horrible to not feel like yourself. A whole identify crisis. You will get it back though - start now with little things like skin care and make up and hair etc when you can.

I have 13 months between mine. There's so much going on immediately after giving birth, I'd weigh yourself again a full week after the birth and see what that says. 48 hours after birth your body is still in absolute turmoil - give things a bit of time to settle down and see what's what

It's shocking how much we can change, I swear my face, by body shape and my skin is different, my hair is going grey, it's like my body has reset somehow and aged soooo quickly. Sleep deprivation after giving birth doesnt help at all, I look ancient, I actually looked younger while pregnant and weighed less pregnant than I do now a year on.

I'm hoping I get a renaissance when I start getting eight hours again x

I found it harder to lose after the second baby. The doctor said 9 months on, 9 months off and that turned out to be true.

If you work with that 9 months time frame you might find it easier to manage. I breastfed my first for 6 months (and lost weight quickly) and breastfed my second for 18 months and it took 9 months to lose the weight.

I packed on 20 kg with my first and 21 kg with my second and I only weighed 50 kg to start with. I didn't fit anything but maternity clothes - that I wanted to burn. I couldn't even squeeze into my coats. I did manage to lose the weight. You probably have some retained fluid too depending on when you gave birth. I just cut out snacks and all junk food and walked for 45 minutes every night or exercylced for 30 minutes if the weather was too bad to be out walking. (I didn't breast feed for long because I had supply problems.) It took slightly more effort with the second one but I did get it off.

I have always had dark circles under my eyes from a really young age. In fact, the undereye area is the most youthful bit of my face never having been exposed to the sun because I almost always wear concealer there. I realise that in the childrearing trenches you're probably not going to be whacking on concealer right now but the stuff really does work.

OP I feel you. I weighed about 8 stone and had a 24" waist pre pregnancy - in my pregnancy I went to a waist of 50" so it more than doubled... 😳

But worse than that, I was still huge after birth. A completely different face and figure. I genuinely looked like a different person.

BUT the weight came off gradually, my face slimmed down gradually. A year and a half after birth and I look the same as pre pregnancy again.

I know that might not be comforting, as a year and a half isn't a short time... But just relax. You will go back to 'normal' for you, but be kind to yourself, you've just created a life! So it's natural for it to take time ❤️

Oh OP, give yourself a break! You just had a baby! I remember feeling like a soggy lump of lard both times after giving birth and I had a much bigger gap between mine that you did. TBH, if you're feeling really down I'd avoid mirrors for a bit. The weight WILL come off, but give it time. BFing is the single best diet I've ever been on, but it took a few months to get all the weight off and it took much longer than that to tone things up again so they weren't so wobbly and awful. The main things right now are caring for your DC, getting good nutrition and as much sleep for yourself as you can, and anything else is gravy. You're tired, that's why you have bags under your eyes. It will pass, everything does eventually! But in the meantime, be kind to yourself. Your body has done something amazing, twice in two years.

With the first one I was back in my size 10 jeans in a week. Second time round I was still in my maternity jeans 2 years later 😂.

It’s so much harder with the second one and they sell us a lie that breastfeeding shifts the weight - I breastfed the second for 8 months and the first for 3 weeks.

Just keep an eye on how you’re feeling. How you look really doesn’t matter too much in the great scale of things but being so down on yourself could be a sign of PND.