Bits in songs that make you cringe

[HolidayAtNight]

Inspired by the thread the other day about "More Than Words" by Extreme. Like many posters, I hadn't heard the song in years, so went to listen to it. It was all going well until the bit when he sings "Hold me close don't EVAH LET ME GO" and I had to turn it off immediately.

What bits of songs do you find jarring and/or embarrassing? I have so many, but will try to choose a few. Lines where they've had to awkwardly shift the words around or use old-fashioned vocab/syntax to make them fit are definitely among the worst offenders.

In "Upside Down" by Diana Ross: "Respectfully I say to thee..." Whyyyy

In "A Spaceman Came Travelling" - the bit where he sings about a baby's cry and then the guitar imitates a newborn crying. This might be the worst one.

In "Come On Eileen" - "You in that dress, my thoughts, I confess, verge on dirty" Just no. The awkward old-fashioned phrasing, and the way his voice goes when he sings "dirty". Unbearable.

Large parts of Midge Ure’s “If I were”

If I was a soldier, captive arms I’d lay before her. (Roses are preferable)

If I were a painter, I’d paint a work that couldn’t taint her.

If I was her lover, her eyes with kisses I would cover

If I was a leader, on food of love from above I would feed her. Major cringe.

Come Baby Come by K7 came on the radio loud the other night while dc were in the car.

Bounce... Come on, bounce!

Haha and the line about skewerrrsss

Blasphemy. Don’t be slagging off James 😐

I play, with a bunch of mates, in a ridiculous middle-aged wannabe rockstar band. We do various covers, mostly classic rock / punk / New Wave etc.

A while ago, we mucked about with My Sharona, but on closer reading of the lyrics, decided strongly against it.

(This has happened with quite a few songs from the 60s/70s/80s, whose lyrics DO NOT stand up.)

I came here for a comment about this Des'ree song. I thank you.

The deliberate incorrect grammar in Shape of You. You don't talk like that IRL Ed! Especially riles me as it was totally unnecessary it could be 'the shape of you...like magnets do' or 'the shape of us... a magnet does'.

I was about to say that! He loves her body, no mention of her mind.

I can't stand Ed Sheeran.

I've got one of the minority TV music channels on - Pat Sharp's Guilty Pleasures - and he just played Opus singing their song Live Is Life.

I know English was a foreign language for them as well, just like ABBA, but... EH?!?!?!

Every Breath You Take. Stalky.

I remember when his song "The Joker And The Queen" was all the rage, and every time it came on the radio all I could hear was the theme tune to A Country Practice.

Any mention of Travis always instantly makes me think of Sanjeev Kohli's hilarious joke:

Fran Healey invited me over for a meal, but all he served was a plate of frozen water. It was a Travis tea of just ice!

Same! Also - hypocritical comment incoming - he’s no oil painting!

I hate any lyrics that acknowledge the song is a song. E.g. “Strong” by Robbie Williams - “that’s a good line to take it to the bridge” and “I’ll sing my so-ong, my so-ong…” Puke 🤮

See, with Baby It's Cold Outside, I actually think the subtext is that she really does want to shag him, but is worried about the societal expectation (in the 1940s, when it was written) that she'll be a bad person if she does. There's a line about how she says her 'maiden aunt' will disapprove if she stays. She also says 'I ought to say no' - ie she feels like she should say no, but doesn't want to say no. He is trying to give her an excuse to stay, rather than preventing her from leaving. I think it's one that you have to consider in the context of when it was written and the sort of things that had to implied rather that stated in those days.

Blurred Lines, by contrast, is just rapey and gross. Urrggh.

Reminds me of Elton Johns Your Song.

"If I was a sculptor, but then again...no"

Screams Bernie Taupin thinking "aaargggh we need a line to fit in here and I cant think of anything!"

‘Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby
And I'm a monster on the hill
Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city
Pierced through the heart, but never killed’

The first line in particular, excuse me, what?

When Taylor Swift refers to her own song as a 'sick beat' in shake it off....

Iggy Izalea’s entire career 💀

Whenever "John Farnham - You're the Voice" comes on the radio, I feel a surge of anxiety waiting for the moment when the bagpipes kick in and set my teeth right on edge.

Ditto the moment that the children start singing in We Don't Need Another Hero / Another Brick In The Wall / I Have A Dream / any other song with children or bag pipes.

Oh there's a worse ABBA one - does your mother know? About a very young girls that he wants to.... but won't because she's too young - ick

I was in a charity shop recently and they were playing a 60s compilation (I assume a donated CD) which included 'Young Girl' by Gary Puckett & The Union Gap.

If anyone isn't familiar with it, let's just say that if it pops up on a playlist, you definitely want to know how to skip to the next track.

The Umbrella-Ella-Ella" bit in the Rhianna song. I loathe it.

Well on the back of that, every year without fail I'm left in utter confusion with the song "Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul Mccartney, specifically the line:

"The choir of children sing their song. They practice all year long. Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong".

I'm no expert, of that I do know, but really, how much effing practice did they need for "Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong"?

A whole 12 months?

Really???

Yeah, that's fair