I have a low self esteem. It’s been driven by being cheated on in the past and just generally feeling like im just not good enough. I’m not the type to look at other women and comment about them. But I look at other women and say “why can’t I be like them”
Today a man who I had slept with many years ago reared his head out the blue. I remember this date very clearly. He was immature and we drank a lot and he basically asked for sex and at that young age I just put it on a plate for him. Well he tried to talk to me and said he was ashamed for how he acted and how he treated my in the past. He then said he got out of a relationship 6 months ago which was toxic. He then said she joined his gym. But she also tried to have him arrested and tried to jump out of his moving car. At this point I feel he needed therapy and not a woman.
For a few days I did speak to him about life in general, he asked to meet me for a coffee next week. I said okay. But then, the other night. I lay awake and thought about how he made me feel. I was very much unbothered by him after we slept together. No feelings or anything. But, I just saw him as a one night thing. And couldn’t push past that in my mind. My low self esteem right now could have made me continue speaking. But actually. I just made the decision to cut it off.
I texted him today. Saying, “thanks for the chat. But I don’t think we are compatible. I can’t look past what happened in the past and I feel as though the way you acted doesn’t sit right with me. Yes we change and mature. But I don’t need to get into something I dont feel right in.”
this is huge for me. Normally I’d go on dates and entertain men. But now I just put my foot down. He brought nothing to the table then. And he won’t now.