Choosing between baby and holidays

[Thelittleenginethatcouldd]

So I’ve got 2 lovely children, but since my second was born I’ve known I wanted a third.

we have the space (although would need to upsize in the future) and the car and the income about (120k a year) and some great state schools in the area, as well as very generously discounted nursery for instance FT with 15 hrs is about £550 a month. Our mortgage is small and will get smaller when rates drop (we’ve got a high fix). We pay the max into our pensions (about 15% each), save for the kids. Plenty of progression work wise.

BUT, I spent my entire twenties studying and then fell pregnant quite soon after getting married, and there are so many lovely places I’ve always wanted to visit and things to do.

we could afford to do one big holiday every year ( I shop around, maybe every other year if we went really big the year prior) BUT with another child it would be more like one every 3 years. Now I now this is not really a problem, but I’m so conflicted, and due to my age I just don’t really have the time to kick the can down the road. Has anyone else ever thought this? I can’t bring myself to part with any baby things or clothes and I know I yearn for another, but also I feel like there’s so many wonderful places that I’d love to take my kids and see myself (the Caribbean, California, Maldives, Canada, china, Japan etc)

I’m a penny and the bun person as well as a dreamer, anyone else stood where I’m standing now.

How old are you?

What does your DH/DP say?

You don't mention your age, but multiples and SEN become more common the older the parents are, so how would you feel if you go for your longed for #3 and s/he is twins or has SEN that mean huge compromises to your family life?

Personally, I'd be grateful for what I have and I'd then start planning your first great trip. Two DC is much easier to manage that three and all of your quality of life will be better if you stick to two DC. Nature has a way of making you want another when your fertility is in the last chance saloon - there was a thread about it only a week or two back.

Oh sorry, just realised I didn’t put it in the OP, I meant to, I just turned 35

What are the age gaps? Will you have to help finance university etc?

I’ve just turned 35, dh would like another but not enough to turn to ivf if it didn’t happen naturally. So im not quite old enough that it’s last chance saloon (esp in my family) but not young enough to kick the can down the road too far

There’s 2 and a bit years between 1 and 2.

that would depend if they want to go, and move away, my steer would be to stay at home and attend uni in one of the many red brick unis close by or a degree apprenticeship but if that’s not possible, we’d be able to subsidise their living with the savings we’ve put aside for them.

I am in pretty much the same situation.
However, my youngest DC is 10 and we have just booked a holiday of a lifetime. I want DC3 but I know our quality of life will suffer as a result. We have enough money/space etc it's just things such as holidays and frivolous treats which we may need to cut back on a little bit. DH really wants another one (more so than me). So hard to decide isn't it!

This is exactly it.

i think all in all we’d still be able to afford a good life, it’s just those big ticket holidays like a Disney cruise or whatever that we wouldn’t really be able to do. We’d still be able to go away every year and maybe a big holiday like every 2/3 years instead of every year.

you don’t want to decide to not go for it and then when it’s too late wish you had but also when you want it all, it’s hard to make sacrifices

We had a big wobble when DC2 was 2-3 and I'm so glad we didn't go for it. We love travel and it's so much easier and cheaper with 4 than 5. Every time we stayed in a Premier Inn, sat round a table on a train, got on a four man chair lift etc, I was relieved that we'd stopped. However, I had never been

Sorry, accidentally hit post. .... never been desperate for a third.