Page 2 | My husband got caught searching for local escorts

Jennaxoxox · 12/09/2024 20:43

Are escorts not quite expensive? Why do you not check the finances to see if there's any large withdrawals or card payments? But honestly i would absolutely draw the line at this. What does he want the escort for? It's one thing falling into bed with a stranger or work colleague etc on a night out but, to go out of your way like this is a bit much. Does he have like weird fetish or something that he can't find elsewhere 🤔

HumanBurrito · 12/09/2024 20:54

@Aikawolf24 fuck that shit

OP get out of there. This man is a bum and will not change.

Luio · 12/09/2024 21:06

Aikawolf24 · 12/09/2024 20:12

So..here is what you do. You sit down and think about how intimate you both are and how often you both sleep together in a week's time. Usually the minimal a guy needs intimacy is 2 times a week. Any less than that and they get frustrated and start looking at open or looking up other options.

Also ask yourself..do you both still feel attracted to each other and feel a spark? If not..then think of that and what you both can do to feel like newlyweds again and boost libido. From herbal supplements to simply spending more time together,if working alot, think about things that might bring you both closer together and allow for more date nights or just time together cuddling in bed each night.

Alot of people blame men for cheating,but sometimes dont look at how distant they are with their spouse and try to spend more time with them,as they did when they were dating. This makes sexual attraction and interest in ypur partner dwindle. Just like you,men need a sign from women that they care,are still attracted to them,and need attention/romance.

AFTER you try to respark your marriage,if he is still trying to stray,then you can say that he is the problem. In that situation,it would be best just to split and find happiness elsewhere.

So if I needed a bit of attention because my DH had a lot of work on and was tired, would it be ok for me to hire myself a sex worker for a fun fuck? Presumably it would be DH’s fault for not romancing me with a bottle of rescue remedy.

caringcarer · 12/09/2024 21:20

Have some self respect and make him your exh.

imverynosey · 12/09/2024 21:55

He's disgusting and won't change , this is a common addiction unfortunately x

Dubuem · 12/09/2024 23:13

Aikawolf24 · 12/09/2024 20:12

So..here is what you do. You sit down and think about how intimate you both are and how often you both sleep together in a week's time. Usually the minimal a guy needs intimacy is 2 times a week. Any less than that and they get frustrated and start looking at open or looking up other options.

Also ask yourself..do you both still feel attracted to each other and feel a spark? If not..then think of that and what you both can do to feel like newlyweds again and boost libido. From herbal supplements to simply spending more time together,if working alot, think about things that might bring you both closer together and allow for more date nights or just time together cuddling in bed each night.

Alot of people blame men for cheating,but sometimes dont look at how distant they are with their spouse and try to spend more time with them,as they did when they were dating. This makes sexual attraction and interest in ypur partner dwindle. Just like you,men need a sign from women that they care,are still attracted to them,and need attention/romance.

AFTER you try to respark your marriage,if he is still trying to stray,then you can say that he is the problem. In that situation,it would be best just to split and find happiness elsewhere.

Did you get this from a 1930s handbook of marriage??

Noseybookworm · 12/09/2024 23:52

Do you really believe he's just looking with no intention of meeting up with these escorts? Really?

NothingVenturedAndAllThat · 13/09/2024 01:33

Aikawolf24 · 12/09/2024 20:12

So..here is what you do. You sit down and think about how intimate you both are and how often you both sleep together in a week's time. Usually the minimal a guy needs intimacy is 2 times a week. Any less than that and they get frustrated and start looking at open or looking up other options.

Also ask yourself..do you both still feel attracted to each other and feel a spark? If not..then think of that and what you both can do to feel like newlyweds again and boost libido. From herbal supplements to simply spending more time together,if working alot, think about things that might bring you both closer together and allow for more date nights or just time together cuddling in bed each night.

Alot of people blame men for cheating,but sometimes dont look at how distant they are with their spouse and try to spend more time with them,as they did when they were dating. This makes sexual attraction and interest in ypur partner dwindle. Just like you,men need a sign from women that they care,are still attracted to them,and need attention/romance.

AFTER you try to respark your marriage,if he is still trying to stray,then you can say that he is the problem. In that situation,it would be best just to split and find happiness elsewhere.

U alright mate?

DeCaray · 13/09/2024 01:51

A man with a gambling addiction doesn't go to the track just to look at the horses.

No difference from your husband wanting to pay for sex and lying and telling you he's just looking.

It's over, you're devastated and life will be in turmoil whilst you sort out going your separate ways. When the dust settles you will not have the burden of feeling anxious about what he's up to and you will feel so much better without this douchebag of a husband.

81Takeastepback43 · 13/09/2024 06:51

Theonlyonebless · 08/09/2024 10:51

I have been with my husband for 5 years going on 6, we have 3 beautiful children. A few years back we broke up because I found out he was searching for escorts, I took him back and things were going good or so I thought but I just recently seen his history searching for them again a lot like 3X a week or more. He said he just searched for them and didn’t actually meet up with any of them. I’m so lost and hurt and don’t know what to believe. In my opinion you don’t search for them unless you want to hook up right? Please tell me what you would do

Have you considered getting him to go to his GP?

Looking at/using sex workers is a common trait of someone suffering with
Bipolar disorder or manic depression as it was formerly known.

Do these searches or peak of searches fall in line with any other manic phases in his behaviour ?

Augustus40 · 10/02/2025 08:44

Not every man is a client. Plenty just look and never get round to it.

Many are not addicted and just dabble or go only once.

beAsensible1 · 10/02/2025 08:46

Unfortunately OP if he’s guy that’s into escorts, no amount of arguing or pleading will
make him stop. He’ll just get better at hiding it until he’s too old to bother.

so the question is do you want to turn a blind eye or leave.

Cattreesea · 10/02/2025 08:48

Leave him.

He will never change.

When he got away with it the first time (as you did not leave him), he just saw it as an opportunity to continue with his dodgy addiction to escorts and put that above you and your kids.

You deserve better.

'@Augustus40 · Today 08:44

Not every man is a client. Plenty just look and never get round to it.
Many are not addicted and just dabble or go only once.'

Are you a man? because your 'logic' on this is really off. None of what you describe is acceptable to me.

@Aikawolf24

'Usually the minimal a guy needs intimacy is 2 times a week. Any less than that and they get frustrated and start looking at open or looking up other options...
AFTER you try to respark your marriage,if he is still trying to stray'

Another pile of misogynist nonsense. It is not the OP's job to cure her partner of his dodgy behaviour.

Augustus40 · 10/02/2025 08:58

You can see I am not a man if you look at my history on mumsnet.

Just explaining how it is. Plenty look and do not ever book. Fact.

Waggytail · 10/02/2025 09:08

Gus who is definitely not a man has resurrected a months old thread to give his not manly at all infinite wisdom on escort window shopping.

Ignore ignore ignore

TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll · 10/02/2025 09:54

Aikawolf24 · 12/09/2024 20:12

So..here is what you do. You sit down and think about how intimate you both are and how often you both sleep together in a week's time. Usually the minimal a guy needs intimacy is 2 times a week. Any less than that and they get frustrated and start looking at open or looking up other options.

Also ask yourself..do you both still feel attracted to each other and feel a spark? If not..then think of that and what you both can do to feel like newlyweds again and boost libido. From herbal supplements to simply spending more time together,if working alot, think about things that might bring you both closer together and allow for more date nights or just time together cuddling in bed each night.

Alot of people blame men for cheating,but sometimes dont look at how distant they are with their spouse and try to spend more time with them,as they did when they were dating. This makes sexual attraction and interest in ypur partner dwindle. Just like you,men need a sign from women that they care,are still attracted to them,and need attention/romance.

AFTER you try to respark your marriage,if he is still trying to stray,then you can say that he is the problem. In that situation,it would be best just to split and find happiness elsewhere.

are you on drugs?

username299 · 10/02/2025 10:27

Men who visit sex workers tend to have a lifelong habit. It's a kind of fetish. He's never going to stop. If you want to stay use condoms and get regular STD checks.

SimplyAFolly · 10/02/2025 21:46

Men have real needs and urges, unlike women who switch off very easily.

Cut him a little slack or spice up your life?