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Am I ungrateful or is he not getting it?

10 replies

MotherOfOlafs · 07/09/2024 19:05

Backstory; I’ve always had weight issues. I had a bit of a health issue in April and I finally decided to do something about it, I’ve lost quite a bit since then. I’m calorie counting so I’ll eat whatever as long as it’s within my daily allowance, it’s working and I’m pleased!

Anyway, my birthday is next week. Chatting with DH I mentioned my aunt had asked if I would like something other than chocolates this year (her go-to present for most of us), I said yes and suggested a small candle I’d seen. He immediately said ‘well I’ve bought you some! So you’re not going to eat them?’ I said I was surprised as obviously he knows I’m trying to avoid sweet treats especially. He got defensive and told me he’d just throw them in the bin then and I was being ungrateful.

I don’t think I am though? I spoke to him later and said it felt a bit like if I’d decided to stop drinking and he bought me a bottle of booze. He said it wasn’t the same and that was just a dramatic thing to say. It feels like he doesn’t understand.

I’d love some outside views if possible please.

OP posts:
Rubia3 · 07/09/2024 19:07

He’s being both unimaginative and petulant. Oh, and also oblivious to what’s going on in your life.

Hatty65 · 07/09/2024 19:08

He's a thoughtless muppet.

He knows you are trying to lose weight, but obviously 'chocolate' is his default present, because it's easy and he doesn't have to make a lot of effort. He's annoyed now that he'll have to think of something else.

You're not ungrateful. It's the thought that counts - and he put little in...

Misorchid · 07/09/2024 19:09

You are not being ungrateful and he is being thoughtless.
He should apologise to you and ask you what else he can get you,the lazy bugger!
He could always give the chocs to someone else🙄

Morechocmorechoc · 07/09/2024 19:09

He's just too lazy to think of a present. Don't back down.

Stillnormal · 07/09/2024 19:13

No you’re not being ungrateful, he’s been lazy and he knows it. Well done on the weight loss though! Or maybe he thought you deserved a treat? To be generous to him. Even recovering alcoholic shave to deal with the ‘surely just ones’ - annoying but true. Happy birthday!

CabbagesAndCeilingWax · 07/09/2024 19:13

How were you being ungrateful? You didn't even tell him you didn't want his chocolates, you just told your aunt you'd rather have something else, seeing as she asked.

No genuine present comes with a massive side order of guilt. He's being petty and unpleasant.

Normallynumb · 07/09/2024 19:13

You are not being unreasonable
He is thoughtless and lacking in imagination!
Congratulations on your weight loss.

spaceshooter · 07/09/2024 20:34

Is he a bit thick or something, honestly what is it with men.

GoldenLyonel · 07/09/2024 20:36

What a strop 🙄 I thought women were meant to be the melodramatic ones 🤔

invisiblecat · 07/09/2024 20:38

He's being a prick. Let thim throw them in the bin if he wants to.

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