Awkward work Christmas Parties

[lapdoeg]

My work hosts a fancy christmas party every year. It’s black tie at a 5* hotel. Dinner then drinks/party. As it’s a corporate firm, people often need to drop out very last minute for work tasks or to travel to the New York office.

There is always a seating plan and they try and mix different teams and pay grades. The last two years I’ve been, the person on my one side has been a no show. As it’s loud, this means you can only properly chat to the person on your other side. The last year I’ve sat by a post room assistant and the other year an IT support guy.

We had absolutely nothing in common. Neither of them drank. We couldn’t talk about work stuff as I can’t hold much of a conversation on post room problems or on IT problems, without having a super boring conversation to both of us. Equally they wouldn’t have found talking about my work chat interesting. They didn’t like to travel or eat out.

The only thing thing we found in common was both watching football (I have to for clients), but you can hardly talk about this for 3 hours.

Does anyone else find work christmas parties so awkward? I’m considering not going this year

I have said ‘no thanks’ for about 30 years in different roles. No fuss, no big deal, no saying how much I hate the idea. Just ‘ah no I can’t make it, thanks. Hope you have a great time’ to whoever asks.

I go bit for a short period of time - buy a round a drinks for everyone then leave before it gets messy.

This.

We are a fairly small company, 50 people max, and also all work on one floor. So we do know each other well enough to do some dinner talk.

Our party is fully paid for, I normally stay for the drinks and the meal and then go.

We are a team of 20. I hate the Christmas lunch. I always leave first. I like my colleagues but I just cannot be arsed with it.

I love the work Christmas night out! But then we are a very small team (10) and don’t do the big hotel function type things. We just go for a meal and drinks so it’s pretty low key and we all (mostly!) get on.
There is a bigger team that we are technically part of and we used to go to bigger dos with them until our role evolved a little and we changed location and don’t see them very much. I have to say I enjoyed those nights too! But they aren’t for everyone and I suppose it depends how well you know and get on with your colleagues.

I was in my previous job 7 years and I went to the Christmas meal once. Hard enough to work with some people never mind spend your own time with them. It would be a 'no' from me.

Can't you just move seats?? Is this allowed?

At my last job I said I was not Christian so wouldn't attend Christmas events. The freedom not to have to eat a mass cooked poor attempt at Christmas dinner and then a disco was amazing. Because my employer paid for a Christmas meal for all staff, I was paid the same amount as those who received a meal out, but I could spend mine where I wanted!

I have been a good few times and enjoyed most of them. the ones I didn't enjoy sounds like a bit like yours. all the a management sat at a long top table looking down at us. it felt horrible. others have been free bar very nice hotel and food with sometimes your hotel paid for. had good crack. don't think I will go this year though had a lot of redundancies so far this year and mood is not great. yoi don't have to go just say your not avaliable and leave it at that. I don't get why on earth they do a seating plan though.

When I was involved in party planning at work, we spend hours doing the table plans.

We planned them in a way that we didn't have all senior management on one, we took personal dislikes into account, mixing up departments but also seeing that everyone had people on their table they knew well enough to talk to during the 2 hour meal.

We took comments from the previous year into account ("do not put me on a table with the branch head again").

As the food was pre-booked, the catering staff got a list with each table, the people sitting there and their food. So swapping was not possible, it would screw up the servers.

We have two. The official big department one that I never attend. It's usually something similar to your example. And the small local team one that's always good fun.

Only the dept one is subsidised, but I'll quite happily pay for a cheap meal and a few drinks with my team, they're lovely and it's great to catch up as we all work hybrid so don't all get together very often.

I get why that means you can't move to another table the other side of the room, but surely OP could have slid across to the empty seat by her side without causing issues?

I have been to only one Christmas party in my work life. It was crap, haven't been again.

I cannot be bothered to do any of it. I might attend a team lunch because it's a couple hours and with people I like. But my time going to numerous work parties are over.

Years ago, I went to one where I was sat between the head of our department, a lot more senior than I was and a very quiet man who was pleasant enough but not a great talker. It was so awkward.
The people who arranged the party had sat themselves with their friends. It was a very long meal!

We pay for all of it so I always like the sound of these subsidised things!

If there’s no way to influence the organisation, eg buffet with free choice of seating, think I’d still go, make small talk and try to catch up with people I like before/after the meal bit.

I stopped going to these things years ago, ours isn't paid for so I'm reluctant to spend £40 of my own money on crap mass produced food, plus whatever it costs for drinks and a taxi home after, it's never in a convenient location for me and public transport isn't the best here.

I quite enjoy ours but there's only about 18 of us and it's a lunchtime and those that want go on to a bar afterwards. Usually home by 8.30 or so. I've been to functions like yours though and that does sound tedious.