Does masking cause any long term harm ?

[Needalotofcoffee]

My dd has ASD and has just started school. Was previously in nursery. She masks / zones out / stops talking/ disassociates a lot. Equally she does have some fun and isnt unhappy there just somehow overwhelmed? so I know she is getting some positives from school.

What Im wondering is having to mask a lot actually harmful or is it a coping strategy that is not going to cause any problems? I don’t want her to get to burnout stage. If she was doing it all of the time or it got more frequent I’d start to think maybe school wasn’t right for her but I do think she’s benefitting and sometimes that very small push just slight out of her comfort zone is ok? She will adjust slowly? Or is it actually better to avoid any situations that make her mask etc?

Rather than thinking your DD won't talk you may need to consider that she is selectively mute. That she is reaching her limit and disassociating and becoming selectively mute. Coping mechanisms cannot be learned in this context. How much support does she have? Does she have an EHCP? This is not a wait and see issue. In my experience it means inadequate support.

My son was 'quiet' (selectively mute) at primary and ignored, or pushed out of his comfort zone, or criticised until it all became too much. Tribunal, special school, bespoke tutors, SALT, OT, psychiatric outreach all too late.

He is now 24 and practically housebound and I am his full time carer. Don't be us. Effective early intervention may have made a huge difference.

I don't thinkits healthy but it is necessary for a lot of neurodiverse people. I was late diagnosed so had always masked. I don't actually know how to not mask and it's fucking exhausting. I burnout a lot. Spend a lot of days off just in bed asleep. I wish I could just be myself but I don't know who that actually is lol.