Please help! Dyspraxia (DCD) and games lessons

[JoykillFeministe]

DS has just begun Year 8. We’ve had a wobbly start to term but he’s made it in. He struggles in school (mid-low academically) and has verbal dyspraxia and DCD, as well as ADHD.

In school, he’s an anxious, shy but polite and friendly boy, tries really hard in lessons (and can do very well at times) and is universally popular with teachers.

It’s a small, nurturing, rural independent school. Like most of these schools, they have lots of PE and games. DS struggled with games all through Year 7, and often would only agree to go to school if we collected him at lunchtime on games afternoons. He just finds the motor and executive skills required for sports like rugby completely overwhelming. He’s not a lazy boy, loves table tennis and forest school at school and golf at home.

This morning he locked himself in the bathroom as soon as he realised he had PE and only agreed to come out if I said I’d ask for him just to watch this time. His anxiety is genuine and overwhelming and I fear he is at risk of long term school avoidance if we don’t handle this carefully.

Any tips about how we had the school can approach this? What reasonable adjustments might help? Any voices of experience gratefully listened to!

I have a dyspraxic child too, it's quite misunderstood by school.
Have you talked to school? And have you had an OT assessment? My son got certain physical activities to do to help from the OT including games so maybe the school could build in that kind of thing as a games session, especially if they have other children that have coordination needs that could benefit.

Otherwise could he do a different kind of activity during PE? Homework etc?

CassieMaddox Thank you. He had extra support in this way in lower primary school but there just isn’t the set up to do this in secondary. I’m considering asking for him to miss games but I’m not sure how this can be managed in school. It’s such a shame he doesn’t feel able to join in at the moment but my focus is on his emotional well-being.

Would he be ok with a "helper role", eg being the person who does the scoring, or a line referee watching if the ball goes over the line, or the cheer squad?

Or are there activities he would do, eg yoga or Joe Wicks style stuff that he could do by following a video in a classroom, maybe with the other kids who hate rugby or whatever?

Think you might get further with the school if you have a range of solutions other than him just skipping all the lessons.

Its so hard. Have you asked if he's being singled out in games? My son also school avoids and its often because he feels embarrassed because of other children (or if he's worried about being told off).
Boys in particular really sometimes equate being good at e.g. football with being popular so perhaps they are picking on him a bit?

Please don’t do this. Physical activity is important for everyone. What you do need to do is work with his OT and PE teachers to come up with activities he can do alongside his classmates where he can develop his skills in an appropriate manner. Then maybe he will begin to enjoy PE.