I did such a bad thing and I’m riddled with guilt.

[Spuck]

About half an hour ago I was driving on a busy road. I had to pull into a side road briefly to pick someone up, so I got my friend and turned the car round so that we could rejoin the busy road.

I stopped before pulling out and rejoining and saw a motorbike in the middle of the two lanes. I absolutely should have let him pass before moving out but I misjudged and started moving out (briefly thinking that I had space). I stopped before completely pulling into the lane to let the motorbike go because I realised as he got nearer to me that there probably wasn’t enough room/time. So I came to a stop and likewise the motorbike came to a stop (he was probably going 25-30mph as its a 30mph road and didn’t look like he was going over at all) as he probably realised that I intended to pull out (admittedly too soon) so he slowed up.

He pretty much came to a stop but as it was raining he kind of tumbled over the bike in slow motion. He was ok (I think) as it happened so slowly. For clarity, I didn’t hit him but I feel I caused him to fall because I made him feel he needed to slow down and stop.

I reversed back into the side road and asked him twice if he was ok and apologised. He didn’t really say anything, my friend said that he gave us a thumbs up but I didn’t see him do that.

He got back on the bike and drove to the next side road (he seemed fine). I didn’t pull into the next side road and that is why I am now absolutely riddled with guilt and regret. I should have pulled in and triple checked that he was ok but I was so bloody shaken, embarrassed and full of adrenaline I suppose that I just wanted to go.

Like I say, I didn’t actually hit him and he did seem ok, he basically came to a stop and tumbled over in slow motion. He got straight back up but of course it was my fault in the first place for pulling out too soon.

Fuck.

You absolutely should have pulled in where he did to check he was ok!

To pull a manoeuvre like that in wet conditions was idiotic and you could have have really caused injury.

fuck sake OP

@fussygalore118 you are completely right. I feel sick with guilt. Not really sure on what to do to be honest.

Blimey. This is how bikers get killed on the roads.

OP, I’ll say what I would say to a friend - what you did was stupid, yes, but you can’t change it now. The best thing you can do is process it in such a way that it’s a good lesson to you and you change your driving accordingly. Be a bit more patient, look twice.
You could always take an Advanced Driving course. DH did one and they are excellent at reinforcing safe but efficient driving. Or even have a couple of extra lessons. Even experienced drivers could do with a refresher now and again.

Be extra careful next time. Nothing you can do right now , please don't feel bad, feel good that a bad accident was averted and you now have extra awareness.

You can't turn the clock back but you can learn from it. Always let bikers go past first.

Posting on here is the worst thing you could do in your situation because posters are going to absolutely crucify you.

Was it good driving? No, it was shit driving. But you didn’t hit anyone, you just misjudged the situation.

You need to let it go and learn from it. Thankfully no one was hurt.

Do you need report it to tje

You made a serious mistake but most people (perhaps even everyone) who has been driving a long time has had a near miss at some point.

The fact you’re feeling so terrible about it and full of regret shows you’re not a bad person. As others have said, the best thing you can do now is learn from it and it will probably make you a better driver in future.

I know I didn’t hit him but it doesn’t change the fact that I shouldn’t have tried to pull out until he had passed. I’m shaking like a leaf with the guilt.

He really was ok, like I say he came off at quite literally 0mphh as he had already stopped, I don’t even know how he came off (must have just been the rainy conditions) but I SHOULD have triple checked by pulling into the side road that he pulled into. It’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever done. I don’t know what I was thinking.

He may have pulled over to get a photo of you passing as if there’s damage to his bike you’ll probably be contacted by his insurers. Best thing you can do to assuage your guilt is learn from it, always give bikes more time and space than you think they might need as you have no idea how it feels to handle a vehicle like that - especially in wet weather.

As someone whose son and DBs both ride this is exactly why I worry about them. My mum knocked a biker off on a roundabout by not paying attention, I honestly think she shouldn’t have been driving by that point.

People make stupid driving mistakes all the time. Someone reversed their car onto the pavement this morning and nearly hit my 4 year old!

Stop beating yourself up, it won’t help at all. Just learn from it and move on.

I know there is nothing I can do now, I don’t have his details and cannot contact him to ask if he/his bike is ok. I just have to remind myself that there is no way I would’ve left if I wasn’t sure he was alright.

I did stop, I did apologise and I did ask twice if he was ok.

But I should have triple checked and that is going to really get me in a state. I just feel awful.

This intense state you've got yourself into will pass OP when your rational brain returns.
In a way your reaction will prevent you from doing it again, or will remind you to give more space especially in wet weather.

You didn't hit him, you realised the error and stopped.
Could he have passed your car rather than a full stop? As in did he need to stop once you had or could he have continued?

You didn't hit him, he got up and you gave him two opportunities to tell you he was hurt, or needed help of any kind. You may well have spooked him if you'd followed him down the street.
I assume this was a build up area? So the street he went down had houses/businesses? Could of found another person quickly if he needed help? If this is the case these details will help you to stop spiralling.

He may well have just been really pissed off, wet and had somewhere to be.

@Raincoatsandwellies thank you. He could have passed but bless him he must have been nervous thinking I was just going to pull straight out.

In the moment it did feel a bit like it was dramatic to follow him down the street but after I’d left it suddenly felt criminal that I hadn’t done.

OP, you made a mistake which you luckily realised before an accident actually happened between your car and the bike.

You stopped and asked twice if he was OK - I don't think you need to stress that you didn't continue to follow him after that.

How many times should you have checked on him and asked if he was ok? Would 3 be enough? Would you feel guilty not asking a fourth time? What was your friend’s reaction, did they tell you to stop and check on him? If not I’d say you’re in a state of shock and once you calm down, you’ll see the situation more rationally.

Learn from this. Er on the side of caution. Ignore the people berating you as that isn’t going to help your confidence in future and you already know you made a mistake. I bumped my neighbours car yesterday at about 2mph because I didn’t look in my wing mirror. I cried because I got it into my head that it could’ve been a child. Now I’ve calmed down I’m using it as a learning experience.

@KhakiShaker this is true. I really haven’t felt scared/shocked like this. It’s an AWFUL feeling.

My friend was totally calm, she felt I didn’t need to follow up again and that I’d done enough, he really did seem ok.